I thought we'd all be marching together, like at Trans March. Anyway, I was disappointed to see that most of the parade consisted of mega corporations showing their brands with rainbows. Where were they twenty years ago? I have an inkling they were firing people for being gay. And five years ago, a lot of them were still firing people for being trans. I think.
And where was the trans representation? I get bummed out and left. It's 2015, and the T is still silent. The B is, too. I was over it.
Here's where things get fun. I was on South Street, and some gnarly dyke told me she was going to beat the piss out of me. And she called me a "shim." Seriously, I was walking on the sidewalk, keeping to myself, and I heard, "I'm gonna knock that b---h out!" and so on, and "Oh, that's a f---in shim!" It took me a moment to realized this was being directed at me. It's nice to know that even on pride day I can't feel safe. And from another queer, no less! This really, really upset me.
So I went to my volunteer job, made a bee line to the bathroom, and cried my eyes out for a long time. Between this and being looked down upon two nights before, at a birthday party full of gay men, I realized this "LGBT" thing is a sham. It's a brand. Trans people are really not wanted in all of this, so F 'em. I was so mad that I threw my rainbow flag in the trash.
Some All of my friends at work are really, really sweet. I love that place. Some of them were very, very supportive and consoling, and I got a very long, warm, squeezy hug. That's just what I needed, as I continued to cry my eyes out.
Awful. That's all I can say. :icon_ashamed:
Hugs. :icon_hug:
So sorry you had to deal with that. On that day, too! HUGS! I guess that's we have our own flag. [emoji4]
I hear you, MP! In lots of places "ally" with us goes only one way, theirs, and I've taken to writing "LGBT" as "Gl...". I honestly haven't tried to get to know the Community where I live. I went to our local center only once. They weren't any help and didn't seem pleased to see me. All the pride events in my city this past weekend had admission fees.
Where my son lives they do it up right, even the Furries are welcomed. My sons bi girlfriend marched in the parade helping a furry friend of theirs. The masks can restrict vision a bit, you know.
I'm going on a cruise (hopefully) this fall. There's always a Gl.. mixer on that cruise line. I'm temped to show up to see if I get thrown out on my..., you know.
Concerning companies, I'd say look just at what is now.
Let bygones be bygones. Look at what has changed the last few years.
Its now much more information and places to come by.
Don't let a few people distract you from what you want.
For one person not being supportive there were probably a hundred supportive.
If on such a day they have nothing better to do than to start trouble with other persons they are a very unhappy lot.
You might just move away from such people, or possibly tell them to leave you alone, what is safer.
Don't let them spoil this for you. You might just look up a few vids from places where it was fine.
hugs
Wow. What a terrible day. I feel for you and it is disappointing to feel so alone when you expected back up.
At the risk of sounding like someone's Mom... Can you imagine how negative, hurtful, insecure and painful the world is to those with such hate and aggression? It is hard to think of that when you are the focus of their lashing out.
It is rare that negativity will help change anything for the better. I hope you can move on without being poisoned by others.
It is also hard to find what promises to be a positive step forward is nothing of the kind. I hope things get better for you.
With loving thoughts,
Joanna
If you don't mind saying, which city was this?
I notice that Boston's Pride march got into the news for a protest about how the organizers and the LG establishment ignores the oppression of trans people, people of color, and trans people of color.
Blackpool Pride has just finished and was seen as a giant rip off by a lot of people.
Stand up to bullies like that..
Stand yuur ground, courage inspires people to support you.
I went to the pride event yesterday in Philly. What a joke.
Pay 15 bucks for what? To look at tables of vendors?
The entertainment was a joke. Fran Drescher was a joke and watching the mayor and governor made me sick. The ONLY saving grace was Puddles.
Looking around the crowd I was appalled at what I saw. If these people want to be respected and treated equal in society THEN ACT IT!!!
I finally realized that the people there do not represent me.
I want to love my life and be considered a normal part of society.
OP ... I'm sorry you encountered so much hatred. I find it ironic that the people who said all those horrible things to you are probably the first ones to stand up and say how hateful and "bigoted" Christians are. Ironic huh?
Well I can say that yesterday was my 1st and LAST pride. I feel my time is better spent elsewhere.
I would be happy that all those companies are campaigning for us at all. Even if someone paid them off to do so and they will probably make a lot of money off of products geared toward gay and trans people. I don't care how they're getting us publicity and acceptance, it's just the fact that they are.
As for the gay men and the party I wouldn't worry about them. I'm sure there's just as many gay men that would accept you.
MugwortPsychonaut-
I'm sorry that you had such a bad experience - I wonder if the person had been drinking or something? Outright hostility like she showed toward someone just making their way down the sidewalk seems strange to me and I'd guess she was under the influence of something.
I go to a predominately gay church and occasionally hang out with gay people at gay bars and have run into no attitudes whatsoever. I often find myself at the L.A. gay and lesbian center for one reason or another and everyone there is super nice to me as I am to them. Maybe its because the people in L.A. are more laid back or something?
I went to the L.A. pride event last year - lots of big corporations advertising with floats in the parade; lots of corporate dollars being spent. I spent a chunk of change to get into the event and wondered around and saw everything I wanted to see so I didn't go back this year - I doubt it changed much from last year.
The impression I took away last year was that it's turning into a mega event for people with money and for celebrities, leaving behind the very people that need it most.
There was a lone, sad transgender tent that was well hidden and I saw very few trans people there.
I saw no reason to go back this year.
Everyone please don't forget the I.
Yes I agree that The T is silent and unwanted by all.
My work has a Pride group and all about the G and L. Nothing for me there. This from a global bank proud of their diversity. I will be adding millions in profit to the bottom line and am silent and ignored.
No wonder we choose our own way. About time we formed our own group and wave our own flag.
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fts2.mm.bing.net%2Fth%3Fid%3DJN.HLKdWJX8hGTwfNyrxS4uBg%26amp%3Bpid%3D15.1%26amp%3BH%3D80%26amp%3BW%3D160&hash=85bcbb13d23b739f62caf90ac161924c816e0dc3)
Sorry this happened too you. I do believe trans exposure is slowly happening though. I've seriously hated London Pride bcos it seems to focus too much on being gay, seeing as that's only who got an interview last time when it was shown on tv >:(. Although they do have a march for Trans groups as well as for gay groups and FTM London (a trans social group) are getting their own stall to hand out leaflets this year so that's something. I guess it will take a lot of time though for it to be on par with how much coverage is given to gay people. I hope next year is better for you.
MP stay strong. And don't let fools get to you.
I work as a T-activist and the reaction of the LGBTI NGO's in Australia has been hostile. They do pay lip service but I think there is an undercurrent of fear that they will lose funding and 'power' (whatever that is) to the T community.
Some or most of the LGBTI groups arose from the HIV/AIDS pandemic, the support they got from Governments has slowly disappeared as G&L acceptance has come through. I feel that trans*issues are seen as a threat rather than issues to support. There are people in the LGBTI who have relatively comfy jobs, funded by Governments, and they feel threatened.
The first reaction to a threat is to lash out. The more press we get, the more support we get; the more they feel threatened. Lateral violence is common in the LGBTI community and it is something we have to combat with reason and logic. It is hard but we just need to keep chiselling away.
In 5-10 years we will be accepted as 'normal' but we just need to keep working at it and not get put off by petty fiefdoms and entrenched LG views.
JMO.
Ladies and Gents, let's please keep this thread civil. I will remind you all of TOS 9 and 10:
9. If you disapprove of people who are Transgender, Gay, Lesbian, or Bisexual; or activities which cross gender boundaries; take your arguments to a more appropriate website.
10. Bashing or flaming of an individual or group is not acceptable behavior on this website and will not be tolerated in the slightest for any reason. This includes but is not limited to:
◾Advocating the separation or exclusion of one or more group from under the Transgender umbrella term
◾Suggesting or claiming that one segment or sub-segment of our community is more or less legitimate, deserving, or real than any others
◾Posting any messages that engages in personal attacks and/or is actively or passively aggressive no matter the provocation.
Thank you all.
MP, I'm so sorry that you had a bad experience on a day that should be a celebration of all identities. i've been struggling with Pride festivals the last few years because they seemed to have become very corporate-focused and I see fewer and fewer community organizations and service-providers present at the festivals. Some cities now have a day during June that focuses on trans pride. I think that doesn't address the larger issue of inclusion, but at least it gives us a place to celebrate our identities and community.
I went to pride about 8 years ago, and I haven't been back; once was enough for me. As far as the LGBT, I think we've outgrown the LGB, and are strong enough to stand on our own.
I don't really like the idea of Pride turning into a huge corporate advertising campaign either, but its better to have the most politically influential entities in the United States on your side. They can engage in almost unlimited (and completely legal) bribery and you can't. Many politicians will tone down the LGBT rhetoric or even express support for equality if corporations make it clear that LGBT-phobia is against their wishes.
Though I feel bad for what happened to OP, and the woman she met was obviously a very bad actor, I need to take very strong exception to what is being said here about the LGB folks not helping us out.
When the transgender rights bill passed in my state last year, it was championed by cisgender gay legislators without whose help it would have been impossible. True, they don't understand us, but the LGB people at my church have been generally supportive and friendly.
Most who transition have a same sex attraction at some point during their journey unless their sexual orientation does a 180 at the moment of their transition.
When you are only a tiny percentage of the population, you take all the allies you can get.
Off Topic Admin Message
I have removed or edited the off topic GLB bashing posts in this thread. We don't strengthen the GLB support for the Transgender community by withdrawing; we strengthen it by becoming more involved, more visible.
The transsexuals problem is that once we finish transition many of us attempt to fade away, we willingly reenter the closet that we escaped from, in a vain attempt to pretend our entire lives up to that point never happened.
On the Topic
Want to make your local pride event more trans friendly? Request the local Pride Committees establish a transgender representative, and for them to conduct transgender outreach. Reach out to local trans support groups, etc. Encourage them and their membership to attend. There is strength in numbers.
Before the local Pride group failed I got an inside look at one. The main costs of holding pride events is the attractions such as the speakers, and permit fees and insurance requirements of the venues, security, etc.
For example the last pride event here had Michael Savage and Calpernia Addams. I don't know what Calpernia Addams got paid if anything; but I do know Michael Savage was a significant expense, probably the biggest expense for the entire event.
This is why there is admission, vendor fees, and plenty of corporate sponsorship. They have to pay the bills.
Did I feel welcome there as a trans person, most certainly. But I had worked to make sure that the trans community would feel welcome. That's what you need to do in your communities. Step up and change things.
Our local pride group failed because the person leading it was not a good leader, and the group did not reach out to secure corporate funding for the event. It was also a few years to early was my guess. Hopefully one day someone will step up and take the mantle to try to organize the event again.