Woooooohooooooo!!!!
So yesterday the company had a team meeting to discuss my transition. After that, my boss told the other department managers to inform their staff. I've been having nothing but support. Everyone has been so nice, and people have pledged their support. I also had no idea what a strong LGB presence we have had here but apparently we do. And now I add "T" to that.
I was going to start presenting as F tomorrow but you know what, I'm already here today and everyone knows. One of my coworkers basically said, why are you hiding? She was so right. So I'm not. I don't have to. I took off the jacket I use to cover up and I'm myself.
I could not have done it without you. While I have gotten tons of great advice from my therapist, the advice I've gotten here has been priceless.
Special mention goes out to April, Sydney and Gabby who have been encouraging me along and picking me up when I get knocked down. I consider them to be my sisters and I'll never forget what they did.
My new name goes live in the system tomorrow and everyone is already calling me by it.
I've been embraced and welcomed by everyone. The women here are so excited that they'll have a seasoned, experienced woman as a tech team lead. I've even gotten invited to a baby shower! Yay!
It feels GREAT to be full time. No more hiding. No more excuses for my hair and my appearance.
To quote a great man, Dr Martin Luther King, "Free at last, free at last! Thank God Almighty I'm free at last!"
Yay congrats iKate. The quote is so fitting. It's wonderful to hear they are supportive and already calling you by the name that is legal and matches your gender identity now. Hugs
Mariah
Congratulations, you`ve come a long way on this 'road'.......be confident and stay happy! :-*
Awesome news!
I've been following your posts for a little while. Happy to hear work was so accepting :)
Congrats iKate!!!! You've taken your first step into a larger world. :)
iKate,
What a rush that must be. Enjoy and good luck on a smooth full time experience.
Joanna
Congrats, Kate! You've come so far from the person I remember you being when I first joined—you sound more confident every day, your outlook has completely changed, and most importantly, you're loving yourself for just being you. Couldn't be happier for you, and good luck with everything! :)
Awesome!!
So happy for you!!
Quote from: AndrewB on June 17, 2015, 10:55:21 AM
Congrats, Kate! You've come so far from the person I remember you being when I first joined—you sound more confident every day, your outlook has completely changed, and most importantly, you're loving yourself for just being you. Couldn't be happier for you, and good luck with everything! :)
Dude!!! Yes that is SO true... I was so timid. Crying when I took the first E pill. Is this right for me? What am I doing??? Will ANYONE see me as a woman?
Now I've come so far yet I have SO far to go.
One of the managers asked me if I'm planning on leaving. I said, well to be honest it depends on how I feel but I love this place and all my colleagues and everyone seems supportive. So I don't think I will, at least not in the short term. Some people slip now and again but people have been trying. And that's important.
Congratulations Kate!! I'm glad everything went so well and I'm so very happy for you!!
You rock, girl.
And it only gets better from here on.
Congrats, so glad to hear it, and even gladder that it has been such a positive experience for you.
Ikate,
That is so awesome.. feels so good doesn't it.. sometimes all we have to fear is fear itself..
I wish I could give your boss a big hug for ya... I get emotional when I hear these positive stories. The world is changing... You will most likely find some women at work who will be your close ally and help you..
Women love to give advise and most want to welcome us to the club..
I love the quote you wrote.. I copied it. It is amazing..
Love
Keri AKA Dodie to my family
Quote from: AndrewB on June 17, 2015, 10:55:21 AM
Congrats, Kate! You've come so far from the person I remember you being when I first joined—you sound more confident every day, your outlook has completely changed, and most importantly, you're loving yourself for just being you. Couldn't be happier for you, and good luck with everything! :)
Oh and Andrew... your a good lookin dude.... wow..
Keri
Quote from: iKate on June 17, 2015, 11:21:19 AM
One of the managers asked me if I'm planning on leaving. I said, well to be honest it depends on how I feel but I love this place and all my colleagues and everyone seems supportive. So I don't think I will, at least not in the short term. Some people slip now and again but people have been trying. And that's important.
This is so like how it went for me. When I told my bosses I was transitioning they thought I was going to quit, they were relieved to find out it was just that I'm a woman! It took folks a month or so to stop slipping, some of my workmates have known me for a decade. It was so nice to hear people trying. That first week I kept feeling like crying because it dawned on me how much everyone cared about me. It just gets better too, the other women at work have been amazing. Anyway, I just wanted to say congrats. I am very happy for you, you have been an inspiration to me so it is nice to see you taking steps to be more happy. Yay :) !
It gets even better.
Today I did my first vendor meeting as myself. I did come out to her though and she said congratulations and used my name and pronouns properly. My colleague did slip but I corrected him and he felt really bad. I told him that's OK, it's an adjustment and it will happen don't worry about it.
But the best part - I work at a TV station. I did a whole walk through tour of the studios, control rooms and other stuff with the vendor. I was introduced to talent I hadn't met before. They treated me like any other woman, with not one weird look. However one (a news anchor) who I've interacted with more often than not looked a bit puzzled, "don't I know you?" I wasn't about to out myself in front of everyone, and she said, "you wanna have this anchor chair?" And started to smile and blush. She said, "I love it when I get 'em blushing!"
All in all a very good day. Tomorrow it gets real. I come to work as (Kate) from the start and my name gets changed in all systems, except payroll. This is until I get my name changed legally. I had held off on doing that because I would need to get a new passport for travel.
Quote from: Kellam on June 17, 2015, 01:15:43 PM
This is so like how it went for me. When I told my bosses I was transitioning they thought I was going to quit, they were relieved to find out it was just that I'm a woman! It took folks a month or so to stop slipping, some of my workmates have known me for a decade. It was so nice to hear people trying. That first week I kept feeling like crying because it dawned on me how much everyone cared about me. It just gets better too, the other women at work have been amazing. Anyway, I just wanted to say congrats. I am very happy for you, you have been an inspiration to me so it is nice to see you taking steps to be more happy. Yay :) !
Oh, it wasn't that way with me. They knew I was transitioning. She was just concerned that I'd want to leave to get a fresh start. To be honest that has crossed my mind. It would be nice to be known by everyone as (Kate) and not to be misgendered at all. But I have a supportive environment here and the ladies are treating me as one of their own. Fully and completely. That may be good enough to get me to stay.
Quote from: Dodie on June 17, 2015, 01:11:07 PMYou will most likely find some women at work who will be your close ally and help you..
Women love to give advise and most want to welcome us to the club..
Yes!! One of them who is a director told me basically anything I need. She is so happy that I'm a woman in a technical lead position. She views me as nothing less. She even said she'll help me with style and fashion
QuoteI love the quote you wrote.. I copied it. It is amazing..
Love
Keri AKA Dodie to my family
Dr King has been one of my inspirations throughout my life.
And thank you for all of your inspiration as well, sister. :)
I feel like I'm late to the party, but I wanted to congratulate you! So proud and excited for you :)
Quote from: iKate on June 17, 2015, 10:06:40 AM
Woooooohooooooo!!!!
So yesterday the company had a team meeting to discuss my transition. After that, my boss told the other department managers to inform their staff. I've been having nothing but support. Everyone has been so nice, and people have pledged their support. I also had no idea what a strong LGB presence we have had here but apparently we do. And now I add "T" to that.
I was going to start presenting as F tomorrow but you know what, I'm already here today and everyone knows. One of my coworkers basically said, why are you hiding? She was so right. So I'm not. I don't have to. I took off the jacket I use to cover up and I'm myself.
I could not have done it without you. While I have gotten tons of great advice from my therapist, the advice I've gotten here has been priceless.
Special mention goes out to April, Sydney and Gabby who have been encouraging me along and picking me up when I get knocked down. I consider them to be my sisters and I'll never forget what they did.
My new name goes live in the system tomorrow and everyone is already calling me by it.
I've been embraced and welcomed by everyone. The women here are so excited that they'll have a seasoned, experienced woman as a tech team lead. I've even gotten invited to a baby shower! Yay!
It feels GREAT to be full time. No more hiding. No more excuses for my hair and my appearance.
To quote a great man, Dr Martin Luther King, "Free at last, free at last, thank God almighty I'm free at last!"
That is so amazing to have an entire office and coworkers get behind you and accept you. Blessings to you Kate
Congrats! It's a great journey Kate, thank you for sharing it with us. The first few days are always quite heady, and you will no doubt have a few "first" moments over the coming months. For myself the overwhelming majority of my transition has been positive, and I use that to help me through any of the rough patches that very occasionally pop up. Sounds like you work at a great place - all the best for the journey forward!
Quote from: ftmax on June 17, 2015, 04:31:16 PM
I feel like I'm late to the party, but I wanted to congratulate you! So proud and excited for you :)
Thank you my brother!
I am late to the thread.
Congratulations, I am very happy for you. It sounds like you are having a great time.
You are an inspiration.
Quote from: Shawn Sunshine on June 17, 2015, 04:45:41 PM
That is so amazing to have an entire office and coworkers get behind you and accept you. Blessings to you Kate
Thank you miss sunshine! You'll have your day in the sun soon!
Quote from: Ms Grace on June 17, 2015, 04:58:49 PM
Congrats! It's a great journey Kate, thank you for sharing it with us. The first few days are always quite heady, and you will no doubt have a few "first" moments over the coming months. For myself the overwhelming majority of my transition has been positive, and I use that to help me through any of the rough patches that very occasionally pop up. Sounds like you work at a great place - all the best for the journey forward!
Thanks Grace. One of my first sources of inspiration here was you. I've read and learned a lot from your experience. And yes we are a good place to work for. We are an old media company however our division operates more like a dot com startup. We are pretty loose with a lot of things.
Yay! I joined when you were beginning your transition so it's awesome to see you reach this point. I'm so proud of you.
Sent from my SM-G900T using Tapatalk
Yay :icon_dance:
Congrats Kate, so happy for you
L Katy :-*
Congrats! I love happy stories like this. It keeps me positive.
Yay! Congratulations Kate! Very happy for you girl!
You have done well and are on your way. My tomorrow be even better.
Congratulations Kate !!!!
It is super exciting to hear it went so well ;D
Congratulations Kate. It must be a huge relief. It looks like transition is going well and you have pretty good co-workers.
Quote from: iKate on June 17, 2015, 10:06:40 AM
Woooooo! I'm so excited for you. I am so happy I joined when I did because yours was one of the first narratives I clung to on Susan's and your successes have been part of what's been keeping me confident with the steps I've taken. I'm sure a lot of new(ish) members here would say exactly the same thing.
Definitely a victory.
Yay!! So happy for you!!
congrats :eusa_dance: :eusa_dance: :eusa_dance: :eusa_dance: :eusa_dance:
Quote from: Mariah2014 on June 17, 2015, 10:09:18 AM
Yay congrats iKate. The quote is so fitting. It's wonderful to hear they are supportive and already calling you by the name that is legal and matches your gender identity now. Hugs
Mariah
Thank you Mariah! You are so inspiring as well. Thanks for being a friend.
Congrats! I know it was very cathartic for me to get rid of the clothes I no longer wanted to wear. Being able to embody myself 24/7 has been stressful, but it has made all the difference in giving me confidence and making me happy. I hope you enjoy a similar experience of freedom to be yourself :D
Dang Kate I don't know how I missed your post. Belated congrats girl! Feels great doesn't. It's so cool that we are going full time about the same time. I too have found my female do-workers have been very helpful to me.
Good luck and enjoy your new well deserved status. I always look forward to your posts and can't wait to hear about your upcoming surgery. Hugs girl!!
Congrats Kate - reading coming out stories like yours makes me realize that times are indeed changing for us and that companies are getting more enlightened. You will be on cloud 9 for quite a while ;) Enjoy the interaction with the women in the office; it's a huge, satisfying change from hanging with the dudes and you'll probably form some deep friendships over time.
Quote from: iKate on June 17, 2015, 02:22:31 PM
She is so happy that I'm a woman in a technical lead position. She views me as nothing less.
I came out directly to our female CEO on the advice of someone that had worked there a long time. I do software engineering for my company and after I was done the CEO said she was happy to have another female on the engineering team. It was only later that I thought to tell her that she had had a female on the team ever since I had started working there :laugh:
Congrats and well done . Hopefully You will be like me and find that being your true self at work means that you feel a lot less stress from trying to hide it from other People and You can relax and just get on with things .I used to get so uptight and wound up that I periodically had a blow up with somebody or other out of stress .Since coming out at Work I am calm and am able to cope so much easier with the stress of the Job . you will find a bit of misgendering especially if You have been at a place a long Time (in my case 20 Years ) but good people will try an engineer today walked into the office and automatically said morning Gents as he had always done then hesitated and said and Ladies that made My Day that He remembered and made a point of including Me . And I made a point of thanking him for doing it to show that I noticed and appreciated that he did it . You will find the little things like that make You happy . Listen to the other women they are mostly willing to support and advise You so take advantage of them . I wore a new striped top to work yesterday and a colleague said Stripes suit You so I will keep that in mind when shopping LOL
Kate! i'm so happy for you and i'm glad it went really smooth! You deserve it! I'm right behind you myself in terms of going full-time and transitioning at work. You give me courage!
Thanks all of you for the kind wishes! I am really feeling the love.
Unfortunately our IT department is having a wonderful time changing my name in their systems... They'll get it right, eventually.
Omg!!! That is so exciting congratulations!!!!!!!
It's been a couple of weeks since I had my name change in our system and there are still a couple of places that the old name pops up in. I just let them know and eventually, I hope, the old name will be off everything. It has been an experience getting all of my accounts changed over to my new name. I still have a few more to go and I'm sure additional ones will pop up from time to time.
Quote from: iKate on June 18, 2015, 11:55:22 AM
Thanks all of you for the kind wishes! I am really feeling the love.
Unfortunately our IT department is having a wonderful time changing my name in their systems... They'll get it right, eventually.
Congratulations Kate. Obviously we consider living full time as your real self worthy of recognition for the major step it is on your journey forward. Very happy for you and the progress you earned with your family, work place and community.
Congrats! I think your journey is very inspiring to us all.
Congratulations and best wishes :)
Awesome to hear
Quote from: iKate on June 18, 2015, 11:55:22 AM
Thanks all of you for the kind wishes! I am really feeling the love.
Unfortunately our IT department is having a wonderful time changing my name in their systems... They'll get it right, eventually.
yep they changed it to mine ;) *evil grin*
So a few odds and ends.
All of my colleagues I interact with on a regular basis have been making sincere efforts to get the name and pronouns right. For the most part they are. There are slips now and again but I am not really going crazy over a slip here and there. I just politely correct them and they apologize and pick themselves up and use the correct one.
I met the lunch guys in the cafeteria today and they did not recognize me. Or at least pretended not to. Anyway they were reintroduced to me.
No problems with the restrooms at all. Anywhere in the buildings. I especially like that we have large lighted (presumably) makeup mirrors. This is good. I pride myself in my appearance now and I fix myself maybe 6-7 times a day. I am who I always wanted to be and who I was on the inside. I am seeing people I don't even work with and they don't really have an issue with me. Anyway I'm just glad I don't have to use the men's anymore. This brings me to...
Apparently there are people who didn't get the memo. That is odd. I thought my boss told everyone. Anyway, one guy from a team called me by my old name. I said politely, "hey how ya doing, it's not <old name> anymore, it's <Kate>. I transitioned and I have a new name." Took a few shakes for him to get it but he did. I asked him if he got the memo, he asks, "what memo, nobody told me anything" But he didn't even seem surprised that I was at work in a dress. There will be pockets of that in the company. However, I seem to pass so well that people don't even recognize me here anymore in some places.
I need to order new business cards... and get a new ID. I may do that on monday instead of today. Too much going on today.
All of my work contacts I've been updating with my new name. My boss has been nice in telling them my new name and incorporating the pronouns.
Updating my email has been a pain in the posterior. IT finally got it right and it turns out their systems had an expired password somewhere that wasn't causing the cloud based email filtering system to parse my new email address properly. But it's all sorted out now and I can now go tell the world I'm who I am.
In general though, everyone here has been so respectful and nice. I sincerely have hope in humanity now. I think the recent news of trans* people in the news went a long way. I do get people saying, "You know, I saw Caitlyn Jenner on TV, but it's so much better to relate to someone I've known in person."
Congrats (again), lady! ;D You have done something brave and beautiful, something that involves a radical re-orientation of the map of one's world, and not everyone is strong enough to try to navigate the places that used to be labelled 'here be dragons'--where living full-time likely was. So proud of ya.
I am wondering, though, about the few people who didn't get the proverbial memo. Do you think those are persons who don't really interact with the sectors of the office where your being full-time has been the most obvious? People who are disconnected? Perhaps the real test of acceptance comes from such persons, for whom you may be a genuine surprise, and you get to see their spur-of-the-moment reactions.
And, despite some fall-out in the media and news, I do think Jenner's transition has helped broadly make trans* lives more visible (with Aydian Dowling possibly doing a similar service of visibility for FTMs), comprehensible, and acceptable to cis-people who, prior to this, knew nothing about us or just had a vague negative idea of what a trans* person was. The world is still a rough sea to navigate for many of us, but maybe it really has gotten better, and will continue to.
Quote from: Gabrielle_22 on June 19, 2015, 02:24:05 PM
I am wondering, though, about the few people who didn't get the proverbial memo. Do you think those are persons who don't really interact with the sectors of the office where your being full-time has been the most obvious? People who are disconnected? Perhaps the real test of acceptance comes from such persons, for whom you may be a genuine surprise, and you get to see their spur-of-the-moment reactions.
So that team was an editorial team for one of our media properties. Some of them also are on air on the weekends doing local news coverage or small show segments on the main TV channels. My boss told the managers of the two main editorial teams but apparently forgot to tell them.
My job is to make sure the infrastructure is running to get their stuff out there, on the web and on TV. I do interact with them as they are end users of our systems. Also, when walking into the floor (we have an open floor plan) they are the first people I see.
QuoteAnd, despite some fall-out in the media and news, I do think Jenner's transition has helped broadly make trans* lives more visible (with Aydian Dowling possibly doing a similar service of visibility for FTMs), comprehensible, and acceptable to cis-people who, prior to this, knew nothing about us or just had a vague negative idea of what a trans* person was. The world is still a rough sea to navigate for many of us, but maybe it really has gotten better, and will continue to.
I think so. She did have a net positive but she did also bring out the worst in people. However that is nice too because it helps you determine who is really your friend and who is not.
I know, just speaking for myself, before reading about Jenner's transition, I always associated Trans with drag and such. It was reading about her and what she's doing that opened my eyes to new possibilities and the road to being who I should have been. As with all things judged in the court of public opinion there will be pros and cons from the average Joe's and Jane's of our society. Yet without it, many more will be left in the dark thinking there is no solution for that which they think and feel.
Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-G870A using Tapatalk
Quote from: Becca131306 on June 19, 2015, 03:51:39 PM
I know, just speaking for myself, before reading about Jenner's transition, I always associated Trans with drag and such. It was reading about her and what she's doing that opened my eyes to new possibilities and the road to being who I should have been. As with all things judged in the court of public opinion there will be pros and cons from the average Joe's and Jane's of our society. Yet without it, many more will be left in the dark thinking there is no solution for that which they think and feel.
Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-G870A using Tapatalk
Absolutely. Look, not for nothing a lot of us have these feelings and we stay stuffed away in the closet. Jenner has helped us all come out and realize we don't have to follow some outdated standard narrative of being outwardly effeminate.
And people know that being trans is a real medical condition versus some fetish or playing dress up:
I also started full time at work this week and yes, there are a number of people who did not get the memo. Part of that is that my office didnt't do a memo and part of it is we share our building with a different department and I have run into people I worked with years ago. It has been fun seeing people's reactions to my transition. No has said anything inappropriate but the reactions have run from utter disbelief to arms wide open welcome to the sisterhood. I have done my best to educate my co-workers and everyone has been really interested in the issues. I meet with the elected official I work for on Wednesday and spent about a half hour with her discussing the issues. She was then interviewed by the local news crew yesterday and I am told she did a fantastic job. She was very warm and open with me and gave me a big hug when we first meet and when we said goodbye.
The Jenner interview has come up a number of times and I think that it has helped with modt of the people I have spoken with. I am sure that there are people who are talking behind my back and making fun of me but I really don't care. There are the people who you can tell are really uncomfortable with me and others who are excited. I've found the ones who are uncomfortable just avert their eyes or pretend they are busy with something. It's no biggie to me.
All I can say is I love being me right now and it feels so normal.
Quote from: Gabrielle_22 on June 19, 2015, 02:24:05 PM
I am wondering, though, about the few people who didn't get the proverbial memo. Do you think those are persons who don't really interact with the sectors of the office where your being full-time has been the most obvious? People who are disconnected? Perhaps the real test of acceptance comes from such persons, for whom you may be a genuine surprise, and you get to see their spur-of-the-moment reactions.
Congrats! Very inspiring.
Hi Kate!, just curious about your communication process at work. Did your leaders create an email memo? or was it announced in person?
My director and HR rep are thinking about announcing my transition at team huddles in person, because HR said they don't want emails flying around. I don't really see why its a big deal, but I might have to go with their recommendation. Hopefully I should know the plan by end of the week!
When I first went full time at work there were a couple people from security and janitorial who got very cold to me. Gone were the morning hellos. Instead it was like I didn't exist. Over time though they have adjusted to the new me and while the level of pleasantries has decreased over all they can't help but like me. 'Cause I am still smiley, polite and helpful. The extra departmental slips have all stopped by now too. I started back in April by the way...
Quote from: michelle82 on June 24, 2015, 01:20:47 AM
Hi Kate!, just curious about your communication process at work. Did your leaders create an email memo? or was it announced in person?
My director and HR rep are thinking about announcing my transition at team huddles in person, because HR said they don't want emails flying around. I don't really see why its a big deal, but I might have to go with their recommendation. Hopefully I should know the plan by end of the week!
Initially they were like a deer in the headlights. Eventually my manager and I agreed on an email. Then he talked it over with one of the other managers (the only woman on the management team and who is also super nice and an ally) and she suggested a team meeting.
So they held a team meeting 2 days before I officially went full time at work but since everyone knew the next day I stopped hiding that day. Thursday is when my name in the IT systems like email and IM got changed over.
Also I was not in the meeting.
April (carmenkate) had a similar process. This seemed to work.
So far I've had zero issues with restrooms or anything else. (But I usually don't have issues anyway). People occasionally accidentally use the wrong pronouns or name but I correct them and they are very apologetic.
After that I started coming out to vendors and other contacts one by one. Some are a little confused, asking who is this new employee, is she taking over for me etc. But I explain and it's all cool.
Hey MS iKate, I am new to this Community. Glad to be among the great Achievers. I congratulate this Full Timer. As soon as I joined here, I happen to read this post, to start with. There should be starting point to mingle with the members, and make friends. I wish you, a long life full of health & happiness , peace & prosperity. I am sure, you will reach to greater heights in your career, because , you have determination and perseverance. All the best. You are my first friend.
Women Admirer
Love2belady
Feminist
Congratulations, Kate!
You probably don't know me because I mostly lurk, but you've always been an inspiration to me as I bumbled through my own transition over the past few years.
I haven't gone full-time yet, but I finally stopped wearing a baggy hoodie in the summer heat to hide my breasts, which was a significant step for me.
If I recognize the background of your profile pic, I may have worked at the same media company in 2011 when I lived in your neighbourhood. ;)