Susan's Place Transgender Resources

Community Conversation => Transitioning => Coming out of the closet => Topic started by: Clever on June 18, 2015, 08:37:29 AM

Title: Coming out to my mom today and terrified to hurt her.
Post by: Clever on June 18, 2015, 08:37:29 AM
Hey gang.

So, today I will get to watch my poor mother cry.

She's coming up to visit and I told her we have to have "a talk."

This is the worst part of it for me--knowing the humiliation and shame I will cause my parents, who have been so good to me my whole life. They don't deserve this embarrassment, not at all.

Sorry, I just needed to vent a little bit. This is going to be awful.
Title: Re: Coming out to my mom today and terrified to hurt her.
Post by: Phoenix_2812 on June 18, 2015, 08:48:25 AM
Just be honest and true to yourself and it should all work out ok. I might be in your position in a weeks time, depending on how things go with my doctor's appointment.

Good luck!! 8)

Chris
Title: Re: Coming out to my mom today and terrified to hurt her.
Post by: Laura_7 on June 18, 2015, 09:03:57 AM
You could have a look here for a few resources:
https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,180045.msg1658077.html#msg1658077

Well its up to you what you say since you know them best...
-its neither your fault nor their fault.
-many people compare it to a male/female twin, with the same sense of humour etc.

Keep to a mental image of a good outcome.
See yourself having some fun together, you being yourself.
If they talk about restraints, try to relax and respond laid back and from the knowledge you have aquired.
Try to relax.

You will come out fine.


have a big *hug*
Title: Re: Coming out to my mom today and terrified to hurt her.
Post by: FriendsCallMeChris on June 21, 2015, 05:41:08 PM
Hope you're doing okay.  Hope the talk went well.  You are not alone.  If you need to reach out, you've got a lot of us here for you.
Title: Re: Coming out to my mom today and terrified to hurt her.
Post by: Clever on June 25, 2015, 01:00:10 PM
Hey guys, so it's a week since I came out to my mom. I did it with a letter. It went perfectly. She is completely on board. My dad is another story. But at least he's talking to me.

It's hard for me to shake years and years of anxiety over this, plus a nagging feeling of having let them down in some way, but there it is.

So, officially out to my folks. Another barrier crossed. Getting there, getting there.
Title: Re: Coming out to my mom today and terrified to hurt her.
Post by: Laura_7 on June 25, 2015, 01:07:14 PM
Congratulations  :)


hugs
Title: Re: Coming out to my mom today and terrified to hurt her.
Post by: FriendsCallMeChris on June 27, 2015, 10:35:33 AM
It's got to be relief that's done.  Bravo!
Title: Re: Coming out to my mom today and terrified to hurt her.
Post by: Marlee on June 27, 2015, 11:16:03 AM
Quote from: Clever on June 25, 2015, 01:00:10 PM
Hey guys, so it's a week since I came out to my mom. I did it with a letter. It went perfectly. She is completely on board. My dad is another story. But at least he's talking to me.

It's hard for me to shake years and years of anxiety over this, plus a nagging feeling of having let them down in some way, but there it is.

So, officially out to my folks. Another barrier crossed. Getting there, getting there.

I'm not a parent. But I do know that,in most cases, a parent's love for their child is without condition. And that child's happiness is paramount. The may be feeling some concern for you in this. But it doesn't sound to me like there is much disappointment or letdown that they are feeling.