Why would a gender therapist ask about your orgasm ability in your previous relationship? What would this tell him about me?
maybe if you had any kind of psychological issues preventing you from enjoying sex. People sometimes have conflicts that prevent orgasm. Just guessing
Quote from: stephaniec on June 18, 2015, 10:45:05 PM
maybe if you had any kind of psychological issues preventing you from enjoying sex. People sometimes have conflicts that prevent orgasm. Just guessing
What does that have to do with being transgendered?
I don't understand what they were trying to get out of you. If you'd been asexual the question probably would have been irrelevant entirely. I only started having legitimate orgasms for the first time in my life after I was well into transition and about six months on hormones. (It didn't involve a partner either.) There's so many factors in play when it comes to successfully orgasming, so I'd think it of little use in drawing conclusions about your gender identity. If I'd had to tell a therapist I'd never had anything I considered to be a legit orgasm before I can't imagine what they'd have said about me.
Whether or not the therapist should have asked that question depends on whether he thought the information would help him help you or he was just curious. For instance, if you were not capable of having an orgasm now but used to, your therapist may wonder if there is an issue about how you feel about yourself or how you think your partner feels about you.
I had a cis friend, a female, whose therapist asked her if she masturbated. Questions that involve revealing very personal information would make anyone uncomfortable, but those issues may also be part of the reason we are having a problem.
On the other hand, if you are not having any issues in the romance department or questioning your own sexuality, then I would be more inclined to think it was a curiosity question, and that is definately out of line. I left my first endocrinologist I was seeing when I first moved because every time i went in for blood draws, one of the nurses would come in and start asking me questions about my ability to have erections, did orgasms feel the same now etc. She wasn't even the one drawing the blood, nor was she connected to my treatment. She even admitted to being fascinated in "women that turned into men" and wanted to see my package. I wrote a scathing letter to that particular office and found another Dr.
You have every right to your therapist point blank what that piece of information is important. If he can't come up with a reasonable answer without fumbling around, I doubt I'd go back. It must have felt not right to you, or you wouldn't have brought it up.
sam1234
Quote from: Jake25 on June 18, 2015, 10:36:32 PM
Why would a gender therapist ask about your orgasm ability in your previous relationship? What would this tell him about me?
Jake, that's probably a question for your therapist. If you think a question is intrusive or off the topic, you have a perfect right to ask, "why are you asking me that?"
Quote from: sam1234 on June 19, 2015, 01:25:02 AM
Whether or not the therapist should have asked that question depends on whether he thought the information would help him help you or he was just curious. For instance, if you were not capable of having an orgasm now but used to, your therapist may wonder if there is an issue about how you feel about yourself or how you think your partner feels about you.
I had a cis friend, a female, whose therapist asked her if she masturbated. Questions that involve revealing very personal information would make anyone uncomfortable, but those issues may also be part of the reason we are having a problem.
On the other hand, if you are not having any issues in the romance department or questioning your own sexuality, then I would be more inclined to think it was a curiosity question, and that is definately out of line. I left my first endocrinologist I was seeing when I first moved because every time i went in for blood draws, one of the nurses would come in and start asking me questions about my ability to have erections, did orgasms feel the same now etc. She wasn't even the one drawing the blood, nor was she connected to my treatment. She even admitted to being fascinated in "women that turned into men" and wanted to see my package. I wrote a scathing letter to that particular office and found another Dr.
You have every right to your therapist point blank what that piece of information is important. If he can't come up with a reasonable answer without fumbling around, I doubt I'd go back. It must have felt not right to you, or you wouldn't have brought it up.
sam1234
I'm so glad you found another doctors office.
I was asked something similiar to this and the reason I was given was to determine the level of dysphoria I have with my downstairs area.
Quote from: Jake25 on June 18, 2015, 10:36:32 PM
Why would a gender therapist ask about your orgasm ability in your previous relationship? What would this tell him about me?
Well you might ask them this question next time...
pausing for a few moments and saying you're not sure what that would tell about you... and they could say what is on their mind...
it might help both gaining a bit of trust...
hugs
Quote from: Laura_7 on June 19, 2015, 04:06:43 PM
Well you might ask them this question next time...
pausing for a few moments and saying you're not sure what that would tell about you... and they could say what is on their mind...
it might help both gaining a bit of trust...
hugs
It doesn't make me that uncomfortable I just wondered why.