Gosh, this is so hard.
Now, full time at work, I am basically out at my job. It's good, people are accepting.
However, eventually I will move on to somewhere else, where everyone knows only the real me. It's extremely appealing. This is not to discount all the support I've gotten from my colleagues. Not at all.
So that leaves my LinkedIn profile. I have so many connections under my old name. Vendors. Colleagues. Some recruiters (I am very selective about recruiters). I've been contacted by top names including Facebook and Google. (I couldn't move to San Francisco).
But I know I have some people who will not accept me.
So what do I do? Do I just blow it all up and start over from scratch, Lynn Conway style? Or do I take Suzi's advice and show them the proud face of transgender?
What to do... oh what to do?
Kate,
Brilliant question. I was just thinking something like this myself, the other day. More as a future tense for me but, yeah. In my current profession, I am known across the country(not bragging, it is a small world in my field) by my current name. I have thought about training further in my hobby of guitar repair and restarting my life... That can't be the only solution.
Of course I didn't come near answering your question. Sorry.
With a lot of curiosity,
Joanna
Unlike how I handled facebook, for LinkedIn I just updated my name. Having past work connections has been valuable to me. Honestly I think lots of people just did not notice. I think most people get so much spam from linkedIn that they end up not reading many of the emails. None of my connections said anything, and as far as I can tell no one deleted me either.
On my LinkedIn account, I just updated my name, picture and profile. All my current contacts already knew and I didn't even hear anything from old ones when I changed it. If someone dropped me because of it, I wouldn't want to work with them anyway.
Quote from: Sydney_NYC on June 19, 2015, 01:42:49 PM
On my LinkedIn account, I just updated my name, picture and profile. All my current contacts already knew and I didn't even hear anything from old ones when I changed it. If someone dropped me because of it, I wouldn't want to work with them anyway.
That's a very good point.
I don't even have a picture on my linkedin right now.
I've been thinking (or rather worrying) about this myself. I've known for years now that I needed to create a LinkedIn profile for myself, but have been too scared to do so for just this reason. Do I really want the world to know? I kind of want a plan in advance going in. Of course, Sydney has a good point. Anyone who'd drop me I wouldn't want to work with anyway.
My main fear isn't really discrimination; its people knowing before hand and destroying any chance of stealth at a new job. Because I want some degree of stealth if I take a new job or at the very least people not knowing much about who I was.
I just updated my pic, put in my new name and went for it.
Feel free to link me if anyone wishes. More T-people the better!
Quote from: Cindy on June 20, 2015, 02:27:30 AM
I just updated my pic, put in my new name and went for it.
Feel free to link me if anyone wishes. More T-people the better!
Yeah, so I did that.
Let's see how it goes.
I mean, I was already telling vendors who I'm connected with on Linkedin of my transition already. All of them either congratulated me or seemed indifferent. So why the heck not.
In any case I plan to stay at my job for at least a few more years anyway. By that time people will see the real, female me as the default.
btw, anyone can add me if they want but I'm not linking it here. Instead, send me a private message either here or on Facebook if we're friends.
I feel that by being open I am more comfortable about being trans. I am a woman first no doubt but I am not really ashamed of the T label anymore.
Vive le transgenre
I don't think true stealth is possible when you have a work history and people need to look stuff up on you. It's a great question though as I think my solution is to remove my picture from linkedin totally and later put in a post-transition picture. I'd be that there are a number that wouldn't even catch it. Then again, there are videos with me out there and I've spoken at some major conferences so yea.... likely I can't relay do much other than avoid the very obvious switch.
Quote from: CrysC on June 20, 2015, 10:48:10 PM
I don't think true stealth is possible when you have a work history and people need to look stuff up on you. It's a great question though as I think my solution is to remove my picture from linkedin totally and later put in a post-transition picture. I'd be that there are a number that wouldn't even catch it. Then again, there are videos with me out there and I've spoken at some major conferences so yea.... likely I can't relay do much other than avoid the very obvious switch.
I'm not looking for deep deep stealth. I just don't want to have my trans status be the focus of every conversation.
I am a very open woman in regards to being trans sexual, but no one has ever made it a topic of conversation with me. Unless they have also suffered or suffer gender identity issues.
I'm just the run of mill Prof of Immunology who happens to be transsexual.
I removed my previous picture, turned notifications off so no new email would be sent, and then changed my name. So fom far so good - I'm not hiding but I'm not shoving it in peoples faces either. After awhile I'll attach a new pic of me.
This was one of two cases where I just updated and changed my and any other info that was current out with the new info. Facebook and others I completely changed, but not in this case. Hugs
Mariah
I don't have that problems because this web site is about my only social media. Might I suggest if you haven't changed your name much you use an initial for your first name and your full last name. I worked with a number of people that I never new their first name because of this approach. In their case it was because their parents hung a really bad name around their neck.
Quote from: Eva Marie on June 21, 2015, 08:08:09 AM
I removed my previous picture, turned notifications off so no new email would be sent, and then changed my name. So fom far so good - I'm not hiding but I'm not shoving it in peoples faces either. After awhile I'll attach a new pic of me.
I did turn off notifications as well. So my change is more or less silent.
People who need to know, know already anyway.
Quote from: Dena on June 21, 2015, 08:36:43 PM
I don't have that problems because this web site is about my only social media. Might I suggest if you haven't changed your name much you use an initial for your first name and your full last name. I worked with a number of people that I never new their first name because of this approach. In their case it was because their parents hung a really bad name around their neck.
Unfortunately for me, linkedin is an important part of my career. I have connections and such that I network with, so I kind of have to use it. Also I want to make sure I am not shutting out any career upgrade prospects, so I keep my profile.
Do let us know what you ultimately decide to go with and how it works out for you. I got rid of my LinkedIn a few years ago when it wasn't useful, but I'm considering opening a new one now that I'm at a point where I know I want to relocate within the next few years. I'd like to add some of the contacts I currently have, since they're good people to know, though I'm not sure how some of them that I haven't seen in a while would take the name change.
Quote from: ftmax on June 22, 2015, 02:44:12 PM
Do let us know what you ultimately decide to go with and how it works out for you. I got rid of my LinkedIn a few years ago when it wasn't useful, but I'm considering opening a new one now that I'm at a point where I know I want to relocate within the next few years. I'd like to add some of the contacts I currently have, since they're good people to know, though I'm not sure how some of them that I haven't seen in a while would take the name change.
I kept my LinkedIn and put my new name.
Quote from: iKate on June 21, 2015, 03:17:16 AM
I'm not looking for deep deep stealth. I just don't want to have my trans status be the focus of every conversation.
People where I work know I'm trans, so do many of the customers. Its a non issue and no one ever brings it up.
Quote from: marsh monster on June 27, 2015, 07:36:04 PM
People where I work know I'm trans, so do many of the customers. Its a non issue and no one ever brings it up.
Same here.
I know this is a few months old, but I had the same issue. I created new accounts for Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram, but haven't been on LinkedIn in a long time. Someone mentioned LinkedIn the other day which prompted me to think about it. I had forgotten about LinkedIn. I don't want to create a new account because I would lose my existing connections, but there are also some folks on there who I don't want to tell. I've already dropped a couple of people and will probably drop one or two more and then change my name on LinkedIn.
Linkedin was one of a few places I did this. I don't see any issues with that once your out at work Hugs
Mariah
Quote from: Sydney_NYC on June 19, 2015, 01:42:49 PM
On my LinkedIn account, I just updated my name, picture and profile. All my current contacts already knew and I didn't even hear anything from old ones when I changed it. If someone dropped me because of it, I wouldn't want to work with them anyway.
I have found that almost no one except people looking for candidates looks at LinkedIn. I have updated my LinkedIn for a long time and people are still shocked when I tell them I transitioned. Even people at work.