Okay, so I started a new job a little while ago and the dress code is business casual. I'm not planning on coming out at work anytime soon but I always wear male clothes. My issue is that men's dress shirts usually have buttons down the right side whereas women's shirts have buttons down the left. Nobody has said anything about my male clothing so far but I don't want to be bothered about it in the future or worse yet have people start talking about it behind my back. It's a great company and the people are great so I doubt they would do more than just brush it off as being one of my quirks that I wear men's shirts but you never know. Do you think something as insignificant as button placement would give me trouble or am I just sweating the small stuff? I know it probably does sound paranoid of me but I really don't want to jeopardize a promising career I just started or be treated awkwardly around the office.
All I can tell you is that when I was in the closet I had a fe women's button downs that I mixed in my day to day stuff, nobody ever noticed. I don't think most cis men even know about the button thing.
Mixing it up like that is a good idea. I work mostly with guys so it's good to know they probably won't notice.
Quote from: Kellam on June 25, 2015, 10:25:11 AM
All I can tell you is that when I was in the closet I had a fe women's button downs that I mixed in my day to day stuff, nobody ever noticed. I don't think most cis men even know about the button thing.
I was gonna say the same thing. Men generally don't pay attention to little things like where your buttons sit. You should be just fine with those shirts
Quote from: Sapphire87 on June 25, 2015, 11:23:11 AM
I was gonna say the same thing. Men generally don't pay attention to little things like where your buttons sit. You should be just fine with those shirts
Okay, that makes me feel better then haha. I figured it wasn't common knowledge and I'm not even sure where I learned of the difference but I didn't want to singled out for something silly like that.
I've been dressing in men's clothes for over 10 years long before coming out. Nobody will give you issues over it. As long as it meets the dress code of being clean and presentable they can't say anything.
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Nobody even realizes the buttons are on the opposite side unless they're really into fashion, or they themselves have crossdressed. It's kind of funny when people find out.
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Have to agree with all about males not noticing button placements, even when a collar is undone. We only notice these things as we are conscious of them.
You'll be fine
L Katy :-*
Most cis guys wouldn't even know that the buttons are on different sides.
I don't think most people even know the buttons/button holes are on different sides...I only learned it in basic training many years ago, and even then most service people I talked to about uniforms didn't know it.
It's such a small detail that it won't be noticed except by the most neurotic observant people...and if they do, just say you prefer the fit and feel, and lower cost, of guy clothes.
Women would likely notice though so be aware.
I have right out explained that little quirk of clothing to a dozen or so people at one point or another more women than men in fact and none of them had any idea. I work in a deli and we have to wear chef coats which can be button either way and I sometimes point out to people that the men and women tend to button them opposite to each other. I then have to explain to them why they do it that way.
so I think the odds of someone even realizing is low and the odds of someone thinking your trans because of your buttons is almost zero. I wore nail polish, pink sneakers, and braided my long ass hair for a long time and people still didn't guess trans, though I think about 70% of the people I know assumed I was gay, Jokes on them I am sorta, I like women so.
Serena
When I was still working I wore women's shirts simply because being a women those were the racks I headed to when I was buying clothes. For housework, being at home or messing about in the workshop I wore and still wear men's shirts I buy second hand at the local church and thrift shops. Second hand men's shirts are cheap to buy and are a nice loose comfortable fit.
I remember watching an old war movie where a young English POW who had escaped disguised himself as a woman. He almost got himself caught when a very shrewd and slightly suspicious German officer asked him to button his (woman's) overcoat. Fortunately his hand went to the buttons on the left side without fumbling so he got away with it.
Thanks everyone, your replies have been reassuring. When I get dysphoric I tend to stress over little things like this. I'll be careful of the ladies in the office since they may notice but all of my coworkers except one are guys so it should be okay then.
Funny thing about buttons and even zippers- I have a few shirts and even jackets where the 'closing devices' are on the opposite side they're supposed to be- I'm not sure if it was just a goof at wherever they were made, but its becoming less and less of a way to tell what gender a clothing item is made for IMHO.