Susan's Place Transgender Resources

Community Conversation => Transsexual talk => Female to male transsexual talk (FTM) => Topic started by: Gothic Dandy on June 25, 2015, 11:44:14 PM

Title: Just stopping by to say hey
Post by: Gothic Dandy on June 25, 2015, 11:44:14 PM
I missed this place. I wish I'd made an effort to come here more often, but I suck at making time for more than one social group. Now there seem to be a ton of guys here that I haven't met. I hope I get to know you all better!

I'm feeling spontaneous and moody and would like to share something that some of you can probably relate to, just for fun. When I was about 4 or 5 and just starting to get a feel for my identity, there were several times when I asked my mom, "am I a boy or a girl? A boy or a girl?" She would always say "girl" but that never felt right, so I just kept on asking. I guess I'm like that, I've always been an indirect person. Why didn't I just tell her I was a boy if that's what I wanted to hear?

At the time I didn't realize there were physical differences between boys and girls.  When I learned that we peed with different parts and that I had girl parts, I went, "well I guess that proves it, they were right about me after all" and I did my best to fit my role. I would freak out if I saw women dressing or acting like men and every "boy" interest that I had, I rationalized away as something I shouldn't or couldn't enjoy. I couldn't be friends with boys because they were only for being boyfriends, an enigmatic alien species.

Yeah , I'm not really looking for any input on that , so feel free to share your own experiences or whatever. [emoji14]

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Title: Re: Just stopping by to say hey
Post by: Mosaic dude on June 26, 2015, 06:18:59 PM
Hi!  Yeah, I tend to drop off here and then come back depending on what I've got going on too.

I was the default son growing up because my parents couldn't have any other kids.  There's a lot of intersex in my family and therefore a lot of infertility.   It was pretty good for me though.  I got to just be myself and everyone was cool with that.  But I have been known to dress like a girl if I thought there was a shag in it for me.  I guess for me doing "boy stuff" was a way of affirming to myself that I was male, but to be fair it's also normal for women in my family.  Like I said, lots of intersex.