Are you really happy now that you've transitioned? Or are you still depressed? Do you still get dysphoria? Does dysphoria ever go away? Will I ever be happy? Or is it only possible to make things lessn->-bleeped-<-, rather than actually good?
I'm guessing you are going to get some very different responses to this.
For me, I am happier. When things are good, they are really good, because people treat me as who I am. I've loved the body changes I've had, I feel better about looking in the mirror, and people seem to like me more as a woman than they ever did when I was trying to be male. This is probably because I'm easier going and more genuine now.
But... I still get dysphoria. There's a lot still to battle through, especially negative body image and fears about relationships. I'm going to be having SRS in 6 months and that is scary but at the same time can't come soon enough. But it's still a major surgery, and it's going to be tough.
The absolute crux of the matter though is this (and this is what I try to keep in mind whenever I get depressed): If I hadn't been able to transition, I'd be dead. This existance may not be perfect, I may still wish I'd been born female, but it's the only way I could have continued.
Whether you will be happier or not will range on a whole load of different things, such as how happy you are with your appearance, family/friend's reaction, job security, personal outlook etc. I'm prone to anxiety and depression; I come from a family of people prone to anxiety and depression. Transitioning will not solve all of your problems and worries. It may put you in a place where you can better tackle all of those other issues though. Dysphoria for me was like a raging layer of fear and self loathing that covered everything that I did. It drove me down, transitioning has risen me back up.
Yes, I still get depressed and dysphoric from time to time.
However I am very happy I transitioned.
The value of transition cannot be measured based on 'happiness'.
Being a woman is far more natural. It's the way I was meant to live. Woman to woman friendships are the type I was meant to have. All female places are comfortable to me. All male places never have been, but now NOBODY thinks that's where I belong. I LOVE being a woman, even if I'm not happy with life 100% of the time (who ever really is?)
My therapist asked whether I'd ever considered going back. I answered quickly "not even for a fraction of a second."
I am really happy. Sure I have my moments, but I would do it all over again and I can safely say I'm never looking back. Mariah is hear to stay. I know some of the dysphoria that I have won't be gone tell my genitals are taken care of, but over all as long as I don't have to look or handle below it's manageable. Hugs
Mariah
I'm happy, my only sadness or dysphoria in in the fact I didn't do it at 4 years old.
Yes very happy. Life finally feels good with me being me.
22 july SRS wich makes me smile even more
Quote from: stephaniec on June 27, 2015, 12:53:00 PM
I'm happy, my only sadness or dysphoria in in the fact I didn't do it at 4 years old.
Yeah, I go through stuff that is similar to this. But, when I think back to how things REALLY were, I know that I made the right choice.
The Dysphoria that I had seems to be far different that what people are talking about on this site. The best way to describe what I had was role dysphoria where I was uncomfortable with the whole male image and role. That feeling left me before SRS. My mom also misunderstands me because she thinks my current efforts to make my self more feminine mean I should stop doing repairs around the rental property or that that I want to sit around the office looking pretty. The work I do could be preformed by either gender and dressing down at work so I don't destroy expensive clothes doesn't make me uncomfortable. What does is getting Sired on the telephone half a dozen times in a row. I identify as female and am comfortable in what I do but having my nose rubbed in the past makes me uncomfortable. Fortunately everybody I know as well as strangers treat me with respect and it is rare that I have issues.
Transitioning save my life. otherwise, I am sure I was gonna end up like a junkie or dead.
You Gotta Love This World
Well I never had depression because I was allowed considerable gender freedom while growing up. So transition did nothing major for me, however having SRS 3 decades ago did everything - since when no absolutely regrets, absolutely no dysphoria, and life has been pretty damn good.
Thing is, just because it worked that way for me doesnt actually mean it will work out the same for you, so you really do have to make your own decisions.
Very much the same here for most of what's been said. I'm out full-time now and have nearly completed my transition. There is no way I could feel bad for where I am at. Everyone has been perfectly good to me and tells me I totally fit the part. I don't always pass 100% but I don't care as long as I'm treated fairly, and most people are seeing what I want them to. I look the way I wanted (post-FFS) and I look fantastic in stylish girl-clothes of most types when I make the effort to find clothing that flatters my body type. When I tell people how I'm feeling these days I'm literally gushing about how great I feel and how relaxed and out-going I've become. I've completely solidified my female identity and have made living it my default state.
The only worry I have is the prospect of relationships and finding a life-partner. I still have to resolve how my non-op status plays into this or works against it. It's hard enough that I have nearly zero experience because of how I was treated when living male. I don't know exactly what sort of woman will get along with me in all aspects. I used to dwell on how extraordinarily lonely I was as a guy. When I started transition I buried that along with any prospects for relationships until I was finished. Now that I'm done I have to face the situation again. I'm trying to not get depressed and anxious about it before I make a serious effort to get out and meet women again. I am determined to not let failure affect me so much this time around.
Transitioning made me happier than I've ever been. Am I happy 24/7? No. Life is still life, stuff happens, some of it trans related and most of it not that is sad, upsetting, disappointing, confronting. I decided a long time ago that I couldn't let depression and dysphoria rule my life, sure they poke their head up from time to time but as long as I don't let them get their claws in me then they don't pull me under.
If you have unrealistic expectations about transition then you will very much be disappointed and unhappy. For me, transition was only a means to be able to live as the person I knew I was.
I can't tell you how you'll feel (I wish I could!), but I *can* say that I transitioned because I wanted to be happier - I wasn't especially unhappy beforehand - and it definitely worked. I am infinitely happier and more content now, and dysphoria is not 100% gone but it is about 99%; now I get a flash every few months instead of constantly. My life is so, so much better now.
In the interests of full disclosure, I was also prone to bouts of clinical depression my entire life, and once the euphoria of transition wore off that did slowly creep back. I've been on antidepressants about a year now (transitioned 6 years ago) and that's made a huge difference, but I'm confident that this was an issue unrelated to transition - or at least, dysphoria made the depression worse and vice versa, but being trans didn't make me depressed. Runs in the family.
I'm just part time now but full time is coming soon and it feels like Christmas when you are 5 years old. Am I happy? Very much so compared to before. Life looks good and full of promise. Just facing who I am and accepting it has been wonderful for my attitude.
I'm definitely happier now than before. Life is better now that I'm no longer pretending. I'm finally being seen for the woman I am and I blend in very well. I'm treated just like one of the girls now and feel like I'm where I belong. I still get dysphoric when I see myself naked, but that is minor compared to the social dysphoria I was suffering prior to transitioning.
I am very happy with my decision to transition. I still have every day problems and issues but I am dealing with them with a much better attitude. Transitioning was like having a dark cloud lifted off me and having sunlight fill the world. Everyone has commented on how much better I am. Although I haven't been in transition all that long, it's been about 4 months since I started HRT, I have changed my name and gender and I am living female full time. I have been fully accepted at work and most of my family has been ok with my decision. I am still in a relationship with my girlfriend of 4 years. So far it has been one of the best decisions of my life!
I don't imagine this sentiment is different from many others that are registered here already, but I think of it this way. My worst day now that I live as myself is better than my best day when I lived as someone I wasn't. If there were no other reason, at least now, my pain is my pain as much as my joy is my joy.
I have moments of dysphoris still, but the spring from what transitioning can't help (e.g., I cannot give birth). Otherwise, transitioning has really put an end to dysphoria for me.
Yes and no
Yes i took care of my body and almost
All are jealous of me for it even cis girls
For being 42 i get asked for id
My skin is amazing
I am considered very very trans attractive
But average for a woman
Srs paid for but i cant get ffs
So im very limited in life
Considered gorgous but life sucks on one side
But rocks on the orher
Mod edit- messages meant to communicate sarcasm or contempt are not allowed. TOS 5
I'm happy at times sad at times. Emotions and feelings aren't like a steady stream. They come and go like tides of the ocean. Are there times when I feel depressed? absolutely! Are there times when I'm happy? Of course!
My overall mind set has definitely gotten better. Part of that is I'm more comfortable with myself, another part is that I know that I have grown as a person a lot since my transition started.
I guess.
I wasn't dysphoric or depressed, I was worried and felt not right.
To be honest, I didn't even know I was transgendered until the day I came out.
I just knew something wasn't right, I knew I did't feel like I was a boy and the changes that were happening felt odd and out of whack, saw a show on trans people (believe or not I think it was a Rikki Lake or jerry Springer show), then it hit.
I told mum, who at the time was really the only person I was speaking to and things went from there.
What makes me happy now is I have a life, I have friends, most I could trust, I love and I'm out going, I live for the now, I enjoy everything I do and if I don't want to do something, I simply don't.
Quote from: suzifrommd on June 27, 2015, 12:10:50 PM
Yes, I still get depressed and dysphoric from time to time.
However I am very happy I transitioned.
The value of transition cannot be measured based on 'happiness'.
Being a woman is far more natural. It's the way I was meant to live. Woman to woman friendships are the type I was meant to have. All female places are comfortable to me. All male places never have been, but now NOBODY thinks that's where I belong. I LOVE being a woman, even if I'm not happy with life 100% of the time (who ever really is?)
My therapist asked whether I'd ever considered going back. I answered quickly "not even for a fraction of a second."
^^ This!!
Suzi nails it for me. Sometimes down and depressed but I love being a woman and would never go back. My issues now are about me being an older woman in a culture that isn't friendly to older women in the first place and even less friendly to trans women in the second place.
Am I happy I transitioned? Yes...but I was warned early on that transitioning would not cure depression or the other issues I have, and I was not disappointed in that area.
But since I couldn't cope with the other issues as a "man", transitioning has allowed me to be more successful at applying the coping strategies my therapist has taught me.
Life is good better now.
I'm happier than a platypus in a fresh water pond on a sunny day.