Hey all,
bear with me here i'm inherently a shy person and pretty nervous, this post might not even make sense.
I just turned 25 years old in April, I work in the office of a Solar Company and love renewables! I'm a lil hippy lol. I went to Emerson college for English Literature with a focus on late 19th - early 20th century literature. By my name here some may be able to tell who my favourite author is :)
I am the oldest boy of two, my younger brother is 23 and lives on the Cape with my parents.
I got married to a wonderful woman when I was 21 years old, love her!
She and I have known each other since we turned 5 and 6, she is a year older than I, and we fell in love in our teens.
The thing she doesn't yet know, nor anyone else, is what i'm about to say here; so nervous lol!
Throughout my life I have identified myself inside as a Female.
I always looked at girls, even when I was younger, but never with lust; only envy.
I envied the way they spoke, looked, walked, interacted with each other, I was jealous that they had what I felt I was meant to have. I have always had 'girlfriends' we would just sit and talk for hours, go out and just be friends. I really couldn't have asked for a more understanding wife than who i'm with, she knows I have always connected better with woman than guys and doesn't make a fuss when I go out with my girlfriends.
From a very young age I knew I wasn't who I presented myself as to the public, I was always wearing a shield, a cloak, a mask. I can't keep living under this guise, I suffer from severe depression and have attempted suicide on more than one occasion.
I know most of what i'm saying is probably heard multiple times a day and is not new to most, I just need an outlet for this; a channel for these emotions.
I have so many questions for those at many different stages of transition, I hope I get the chance to talk and get to know everyone here!
Hey hugs and welcome
Hi Vaire :icon_wave:
Welcome to Susan's :) Glad to have you here, join on in the fun
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Hugs
V M
welcome to Susan's.
Hi Vaire, welcome t Susan's. It's true that we often her stories similar to yours and ours, but we enjoy hearing them from everyone. Your among friends now. I look forward to seeing you around the forums. Good luck and Hugs
Mariah
Hello Vaire
Welcome to Susan's so happy you've found us...
Its never easy telling the ones you love, still not there after many years myself... And yes fully understand the shield and mask, but, for whatever reason we do it. Don't think since a young kid I got desperate Dysphoria or went to dark places, just got on with life and the internal battles.
But you are here amongst folks that have had and still face those issues daily, you'll get the support and guidance you need as you move forward. Also, worth a thought, is to perhaps chat with a gender therapist will help all round.
Anyway big welcome and look forward to seeing you about here.
L Katy :-*
Hey everyone!
So glad i've been able to chat with a few of you, i'm getting some good vibes from everyone lol, everyone has been great!
I actually start seeing a therapist next week that she says she has done work with folks dealing with "gender dysphoria". My current therapist doesn't really deal with that unfortunately, but I have high hopes for the future!
Love!
Welcome! You've come to the right place for support and friendship. :-)
Jessica <3
Hi Vaire and welcome to Susan's.
:)