I am a 22 year old Jamaican college student. I was born and raised in Kingston, Jamaica and as many of you may know, my country is HIGHLY homophobic and violent. I can't tell you how many times I've been chased and feared for my life.
All my life I've been a "tom-boy", never liked pink, dresses or dolls. The last time I was forced to buy feminine clothes I cried, this was just last year.
Recently I've started to resent myself more and more when I look into the mirror, my chest isn't flat enough, the bulge in my pants isn't big enough and most of all I cringe when anybody refers to me with any feminine pronouns.
I was born as Ashley-Anne but when I look in the mirror I see Darius.
There is no support in my country because if I come out as Trans, I will be raped, beaten, killed or become homeless, maybe all the above. I cry about this everyday and feel so alone.
I recently came out to my mother as a lesbian and I continue to hide behind that mask because I know she will never understand that her only child and daughter is actually her son.
Becoming Darius
Move out of the country. It's your life and it is a short one indeed
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Quote from: possessed on July 08, 2015, 12:29:36 AM
Move out of the country. It's your life and it is a short one indeed
Sent from my LG-H220 using Tapatalk
Ye wish it was as simple as that
Becoming Darius
HI Jordii, welcome to Susan's.
I feel for you. Living in an unforgiving country has got to be a very hard thing to deal with. I'm glad you came here where you can at least talk with others and not feel quite so alone in the world.
Out of curiosity, have you considered college outside of Jamaica? I think there are scholarship possibilities as I met someone who did that.
Anyway, I'm giving you some links to site rules and some answers to often asked questions. I hope to hear more from you.
- Site Terms of Service and rules to live by (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,2.0.html)
- Standard Terms and Definitions (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,54369.0.html)
- Post Ranks (including when you can upload an avatar) (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,114.0.html.)
- Reputation rules (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,18960.0.html)
- News posting & quoting guidelines (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,174951.0.html)
- Photo, avatars, and signature images policy (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,59974.msg383866.html#msg383866)
Hi Darius, welcome to Susan's. So sorry that you live in a country that is so unforgiving. LordKAT is right have you looked at college outside your country. You might find more freedom that way. I look forward to seeing you around the forums. Good luck and Hugs
Mariah
Hi Darius
A big warm welcome to Susan's.. lovely to have you here.
As others have said, do you have any opportunity in moving to another country, to complete your studies there and follow your life's dreams? Certainly worth considering.
I have heard it can be pretty hard there, and has been for as long as I can remember.
Please be careful
Anyway welcome to Susan's and look forward to seeing you about the forum's
L Katy :-*
Hi Darius :icon_wave:
Welcome to Susan's :) Glad to have you here, join on in the fun
Hugs
V M