As a transitioning transwoman, I'm trying to make "girlfriends" so I can surround myself with that femininity and help bring it out in myself more consistently. I've made some, sure, and I think we have a good rapport so far. I'm very excited.
However, I'm still almost solely attracted to other women. If the right guy comes along sure, but he's got to be pretty feminine himself, hehe. So yeah, I'm dealing with trying to be friendly with people that I want to see naked and possibly do things with. Anybody else have that problem? /blush :embarrassed: ???
I guess I'm still in the process of breaking down those preconceived notions about myself and my interests that I've built up over the years. There are plenty of women I'm not attracted to after all, hehe. I guess I'm just fortunate enough to be surrounded by beautiful people. :P
I don't know, it's hard to describe.
Well I'd say take your time.
Its possible that orientation changes a bit after being some time on hrt.
Its possible you like their female energy...
its also possible that you feel you get more secure in yourself...
accepting some male tendencies...
and being attracted to them on the outside...
I'd say take your time...
hugs
Take er slowly. Understand you are on a journey and in time those attractions should slowly dwindle to normal level :)
Transition is full of strange feeling, new experiances and there may be ups and downs on the way. But thats what makes it exciting because you are becoming the way you have felt for years. And i think that sexual orientation is a small part of this journey. If your attracted to women then thats great, if your attracted to men thats great. But it does not define you as a person.. so i guess what im saying is follow your heart.. what ever feels good to you do.. and the rest will follow
I just don't want to be that creepy friend like Karen on Will and Grace where you're not sure if she's hitting on Grace or not, lol.
I would say it's normal I expect most lesbians have platonic friends they find attractive. Most women I feel perhaps due to the often more intimate friendships they experience have a easier time being close to someone without letting it become weird even if there is a sexual attraction present.
I think it will be tough for a while learning how to interact in a casual perhaps even close setting with other women, finding where the line between casually and friendly compliments ends and creepy begins. That line will also change over time as you get to know each other.
I recently had a sorta similar experience when I.first started presenting full time, I joked with some male friends I have known forever that they should touch my boobs. (I make them out of flubber and its fun to play with) most of my friends thought it was funny and knew there was no sexual intent because they know I make jokes like that often. One of them that I had more recently met was actually freaked out over it and that led to lots of stress, things are better now but it was a thing at the time.
Serena
Another new born lesbian :-P
Well, in my experience you just have to put attraction in the backseat so that you really don't come across as creepy or predatory. When around other women, that kind of stuff will seem masculine, and alienating, and will make them guarded or distant. You need to learn to appreciate women for what they are; emotional and vulnerable people. And no I'm not belittling women by saying that. A man around his male friends will compete. A woman around female friends will want to let their guard down and connect. It's this behavior that you'll need to get used to and appreciate. I've struggled with it a bit. I'm not strictly a lesbian but I consider myself 'homoflexible' these days. I check out a lot of women, and I'm also friends with quite a few women. But I've made it a point to put my attraction aside and to try not to make it obvious I'm checking them out. You have to listen, you have to feel, and connect on other levels than attraction and physicality. Relating is very important. Women will share similar experiences and gain strength and affirmation from that. Honestly, it's a really great thing, and I'm learning to appreciate it.
I've dealt with this stuff very recently in fact. I met this really cute young woman and I do find her quite attractive. Being homosexual, I do look for signs of mutual attraction, and I have hopes, or brief fantasies. But you can't make that a primary focus. That's typical guy behavior. If there are clear signs, by all means go for it, but it can be easy to mistake interest on a mental and emotional level for interest on a physical and sexual level. If a woman is friendly around you, but there aren't any other clear signs of attraction, then she just feels like you're someone she can let her guard down around and get along with. Very important not to take advantage of that. In my case, I didn't see any clear signs but she did like to hang around me, engaged me in conversation, and a few other things that did almost get into a grey area. So it can be confusing. But then after some time, things cleared up and I definitely got a sisterly vibe from her. She treated me more like family, especially because I hung out with and got along well with her family. And her behaviors by then were clear.
I guess what I'm getting at is, in most situations, you need to play it cool and focus more on being their friend regardless of your attraction to them. Listen, bond, share, and don't get caught up in your own hopes of what you want with them. If the mutual attraction is there, you'll know, even if it takes some time. If it isn't, you can't force it. Then it's like any other situation with one-sided attraction, and you have to decide if you can handle dealing with that or not. But if you can, draw the line. Don't keep up hopes or fantasies that maybe she'll be willing to 'experiment' or that you'll somehow 'convert' her. Because then you'll lose it all and miss out on the privilege of having a close female friend. And there are going to be times where you'll really want and need one!
Thank you! This all makes me feel much better. It's kinda what I figured, but I wasn't sure. It's just going to take time to adjust, but it isn't an abnormal state to be in it sounds like.
Tristan.. I am in that same state myself (I am currently pre-everything ) I am completely attracted to females and transwomen) it's important to just be pleasant with the interactions and thoughtful about the wording in compliments. The female inside of me knows how they feel. And that relationships can happen but take time and most often build from friendship. Of course, women like attention... but there's a fine line. Be yourself as a pleasant is my advice.
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I think we subconsciously surround ourselves with people we find attractive for various reasons...I can't put a finger on why, but it's something I've definitely noticed.