I'm absolutely bricking it. My mum has has an unpleasant reaction to say the least, I'm the only girl so, she see's it as losing her only daughter.
I'm just worried my dad will see it the same way. I mean in all honesty I've never been femme so it's not like I was ever his little princess, but I'm still scared of how he will react to me.
Also the eternal question. Do I bind to meet up with him so he does not have to deal with seeing me as more femme and be more comfortable in my own skin, or do I not bind and possibly not set him off straight away?
My mum is supposed to be the pro LGBT parent so her rejection has really set me on edge and now I'm even more worried about my dad's reaction. I mean we are meeting in a pub so if it does go south it's in a public space where the bar staff now and like me. But still....
So yeah TLDR; Meeting my dad, bind or not? Chill and what happens, happens or prepare for the worst?
I can't offer advice about binding, but my usual approach is to prepare for the worst but hope the best. Your mother may come around with time, it is a lot for the people close to us to take in. I hope it goes well.
So do I, Thanks, I'll try that.
I think whether or not you bind should be up to your comfort level. Plan for the worst and wear whatever you think will help you feel the most confident in that situation.
Wear whatever you like. If you think binding would make you more self conscious, maybe forgo it this time.
Honestly, my parents didn't notice until several months after the fact that I wore a binder, and that was only because I was wearing a tanktop where it was visible.
If you're more comfortable binding I think you should go for it. Your dad probably won't even notice you're binding but he will notice that you're comfortable and confident in yourself which could help put him at ease and show him that you know what you're doing as far as things like coming out and transitioning goes.
I am not out to my parents, but had a recent visit. I dressed male, including binder and packer because I knew I would be much more comfortable and wouldn't take as mcuh abuse from them if I felt better and stronger. It worked. My dad did a double take once when I walked up to meet them for dinner but didn't say anything. Other people were sir-ing me left and right and my parents kept correcting people that I was their daughter not son. But they never seemed to connect how much it was happening. It made me feel better to counter all the "she"s from my folks with all the male gendering from the rest of the world. I agree with the suggestions to do what makes you comfortable because it will help you protect you.
Thanks everyone. I did end up binding and i felt morecomfortable doing so. The meeting could have gone better, but at least i felt confident enough to tell him when he went too far.
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Congratulations! It's a hard conversation to have and it sounds like you did well.
It was NOT easy. especially when he tried for emotional manipulation, but mum did worse and I was prepared for that already... So, I told him to stuff it.
But yeah, now it's over and done with and I can get on with my life. I feel very relieved.