So I'll be 17 next month. I'm so confused with myself. When I was younger I wanted to be a boy. But then when I got older I pushed these emotions down. But now that I'm getting even older, they're coming back...
But I'm so confused because I'm having such gender dysphoria but I'm also really confused about my sexuality. But I guess I really can't figure that out until I figure out everything else. But I'm pretty sure I'm bisexual? But I think more gay than bisexual. Gay as in male on male...so ya.
I've only told my one friend but she thought I was joking. So that sucks. Maybe I'll try explaining it to her again.
I plan on keeping this a secret until I turn 18, move out of my judgmental family's house, and can make decisions on my own(like going to therapy and then going on T, most likely.)
But I'm so afraid to tell anyone. I don't think I'll be able to tell anyone while I'm in high school because my school is also a very judgmental place. So I guess I'll just have to tough it out until I graduate and then move to the city where nobody knows me!
Also I have anxiety(and maybe depression??? but honestly I'm thinking that's because of my gender dysphoria.)
So I'm like always stressing out.
I honestly think my family will not accept me. They're always making fun of people in the LGBTAQ+ community like why.....?
Anyway, that's me.
Also when I do transition, I think I want my name to be Nathaniel(Nathan or Nate.) Even though it's nothing like my current name. And if I change my first name I'll have to change my middle name, because it's super feminine. I'm debating as to whether I should change my last name or not because my last name is dumb and everyone pronounces it so wrong.
Dang I talk a lot. Whatever. Sorry.
So that's me. I guess call me Nathan.
Hi Nathan,
Warm welcome to Susan's... good to have you here
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Yes these feelings come and go, but each time they come they are often a little stronger than before...
It is tough, oh and don't be sorry... I guess when you get to 18 you will be able to go and see a gender therapist/counsellor... and yes please do try talking with people, it will help in the long run. And I understand how you feel regarding your parents... oh so I do...
But try and find a way to hold the conversation without opening up fully? sort of testing the ground....? just a thought!
Best wishes and look forward to seeing you about the forum's...
L Katy :-*
Hi Nathan and welcome to Susan's.
:)
Hi Nathan, welcome to Susan's. Before I transitioned my gender dysphoria caused anxiety and at times it was really bad so I can totally relate to that. It's not uncommon to have questions about your sexuality and gender at the same time. I had blocked off true knowledge of what I was attracted to without knowing it coming into transition, but through the process of transitioning discover that I was interested in Guys all along. I had first thought I had been Asexual to I processed things along with experiences. It way I can totally relate. I look forward to seeing you around the forums. Good luck and Hugs
Mariah
Here are a few resources and thoughts that might help you:
https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,191620.msg1708270.html#msg1708270
https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,180045.msg1658077.html#msg1658077
https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,190486.msg1697083.html#msg1697083
Well I'd say take the time you need but keep at it...
you might contact plannedparenthood, a lgbt center or talk to a school conselor you trust...
you have a few options, I'd say take the time you need, and listen to your feelings...
and there possibly might be a gsa at your school, with other transgender people...
In explaining, some people say they will be like their male/female twin, with the same sense of humour...
hugs
Welcome, Nathan! I'm glad you're here. We were short a Nathan since my friend transitioned to Erika.
Hi Nathan :icon_wave:
Welcome to Susan's :) Glad to have you here, join on in the fun
Hugs
V M