Ok start this off openly. I'm a ftm... I'm married to an amazing woman! We have a son who is 2 and I love them both very much. My wife knows that I want to transition. She supports me 100% and tells me to go though with it all the time she wants me to be happy in my body. The problem I run into all the time in my mind is that I'd rather have a roof over my family's head before I put all the money into me transitioning. I don't know how I would be able to do both. I want both so bad it hurts! I guess I'm wondering if anyone else has had the same situation. And if so how did you go about it?
I believe you can transition AND keep your family safe! But, your transition is not going to happen overnight...and it is going to be a long process that requires patience and tolerance of difficult situations. There are many low cost or free ways to BEGIN transitioning, such as a change in clothing, hairstyle, name, and asking people in your life to use the correct pronouns. If you are wanting to be on Testosterone, it is not very expensive, and MAY be covered by your insurance. Even if you pay out of pocket for the T, the lab tests and doctor visits are usually covered. If you have discomfort with the appearance of your chest, you can buy a binder for less than $50. Check with your insurance to see if top surgery would be covered, if that is something you desire. Start saving for surgery, even a little bit at a time. Get started in small ways, and that will lead to more comfort with taking further steps. It sounds like you have great support from your wife, and that you are only stumbling on the financial piece...this is something that CAN be overcome. It may be difficult to see a way through it, but it can be done if transitioning is what will make you feel your best in the world.
Thank you. The big step is finding a doc in PA to get started on t. I've been dressing and everything like a male forlike 6 or 7 years now... it's tough sometime for me because I pass 88% of the time and trying to use public bathrooms n such is a pain I get told I'm in the wrong bathroom almost always and did things like that. Idk were I technically am for stuff like that too..
U were told in the wrong bathroom when going in the women's washroom? Just go use the men's room, no one will say a word to u. I used to take my pick on which washroom I want to go pre-T. Most of the time, I'd use the men's washroom unless I was in the places where I knew I might run into people, then I'd use the women's washroom. Since I got the gender marker changed on my ID even pre-T, I've been using the men's washroom and not one incident. I'd say I'd pass 80% of the time pre-T.
You are probably passing fine as a guy, use the men's, no one cares; guys go in, do there business and leave, no chatting or spending time at the mirror. I am still pre-t and have used the men's for over a year now and no one has ever looked or said anything that would make me think they were questioning me being in there. When I am where someone may know my history I used a restroom away from where they may see me, not always easy and do have to hold my pee sometimes. I still get my monthly and do change tampons in the men's when I have too, not easy but possible if you are very careful.
HI Butch, welcome to Susan's.
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