I must admit that I had this fear of going out in public with a skirt or dress for a long time now. I just don't know. The reason was pretty silly too, in that wearing pants would not get people laughing at me or staring. But if I wear pants and a femme top, HOW is that any different?
So when going full time I just said, "screw it" and I wear skirts and dresses almost exclusively now. In fact my loose fitting jeans are probably going to be donated and I'm keeping maybe 3-4 pairs of the tighter ones.
The amazing thing is that public reaction is about the same, in terms of stares and looks. So I was worried for nothing.
Live and learn, I guess.
Behind closed doors, certainly... Far too male as of now.
Although a few Gay people I know constantly push me to just come meet them (cross);dressed.
I got my eyes on a fluffy skirt though ^-^
I'm trying to tackle this problem myself
I love that long skirts are in style right now (at least in MN.... We're always years behind actual fashion trends) and I will soon be wearing some methinks
Quote from: Yenneffer on July 16, 2015, 09:45:18 AM
I'm trying to tackle this problem myself
EVERYBODY PRETTY IN LOLITA AAAHHHHH<3
Haha, what a timely topic! Today is the first day I'm wearing a skirt to work. Why, I'm not sure... part of it is I tend to dress conservatively anyway and also the realization a few weeks ago that I've been full time for a long while now even though I hadn't planned that to happen this soon.
Quote from: Swayallday on July 16, 2015, 09:40:32 AM
Behind closed doors, certainly... Far too male as of now.
Although a few Gay people I know constantly push me to just come meet them (cross);dressed.
I got my eyes on a fluffy skirt though ^-^
Do you go out in public wearing any feminine clothing? I'm primarily referring to people who go out in public dressed feminine.
Quote from: Yenneffer on July 16, 2015, 09:45:18 AM
I'm trying to tackle this problem myself
Don't worry. Take small steps if you have to. But I've found that looking "in between" is more trouble than it's worth. But I can totally understand wanting to ramp it up instead of just going all out all at once.
Quote from: iKate on July 16, 2015, 10:41:05 AM
Don't worry. Take small steps if you have to. But I've found that looking "in between" is more trouble than it's worth. But I can totally understand wanting to ramp it up instead of just going all out all at once.
I love leggings and this cute hoodie
I've said this before but I'm the exact opposite. I can't stand pants at all and only wear skirts out in public or dresses. And can't work up the courage to go out in pants or shorts yet.
What's stopping me right now primarily is not having any! lol.
I'm not out at work yet, so that means only pants there, but I went out with some girl-friends the other night and wore my jeans. I looked hideous imo because they don't quite fit right, and I don't have the hips to pull them off properly. So I've got my eyes on some "fit-and-flare" dresses (gives the illusion of hips!) as soon as I can build up the courage to buy them. I say I need courage because my wife doesn't want me to buy them yet, until I'm ready to present female in public. But how am I supposed to get ready to present female in public if I don't have anything to wear! lol, catch 22 there.
So yeah, I'm ready to go out and give it a whirl, but I need the clothes first. :P
I have been going through the exact same thing with skirts and dresses, though very recently I have gotten mostly over feeling "silly" when I wear a skirt or dress. And I am not sure why I felt silly, considering I have been wearing women's pants, jeans, capris, shorts, etc for years, with no feelings of being silly/out of place/etc. I am talking bright red fairly tight jeans too :)
I think there is a point where you kind of have to say "screw it" and walk out the door wearing a skirt or dress, especially if you are already presenting as a woman. I did this and while I am more conscious of people looking at me when wearing a skirt, at the same time I find my skirts to be comfy and pretty flattering. And my partner did point out that women generally are more conscious of themselves when wearing dresses and skirts because of the potential for exposing more skin than you would with pants. So maybe part of feeling silly and self conscious was just due to having to pay more attention about how I had to sit, squat vs bend to pick things up, etc. Stuff you never have to think about in male clothes or even when wearing women's pants.
iKate, I was nervous as could be about wearing a skirt/dress to work, or out in public my first time, and I was already out as trans full time. I could not put my finger on the issue, but I was just nervous about it. Maybe I was afraid of how I would look...more like a guy in a dress than a transwoman. I don't know...
Now I wear them more than pants...by far. Especially when the temp is 96 degrees and the heat indices are around 110. My boss, who is cisfemale, told me one day that she feels more comfortable in pants. I told her that I have had my fill of wearing pants. :) She laughed and said I bet you have. I think we make more of it than there is to it.
I'd like to do skirts, but I only do dresses because of my stomach sticking out. Once I get this stomach issue solved it will be pencil skirts.
even after living full time 12 years I rarely wear dresses and skirts, only to weddings and special places which is pretty much the norm for cis girls where I live. Except in Adelaide when it was 40c I just put on a miniskirt and blouse and met my friends in the cbd, and yep I was totally feeling overdressed, all the cis girls were wearing denim shorts and t shirts.
Oh well I rocked it, good times. Maybe I'll do it some more this summer
I was self conscious about wearing a dress or skirt at first, but it actually helped me pass more. Now I don't even think about it.
I only have but one skirt but it took me a while to wear it out. I had some irrational notion of apearing in clothes that were too feminine for someone like me, that people would point and laugh. I also didn't wear flats out for a while. I also just wanted to slide into a more visibly female presentation. Baby steps etc. I have done everything in transition by feel. Waiting until I felt ready. One day only my flats felt right, so out I went. When the day came that I felt like wearing my skirt I did waffle a bit. Trying out different outfits for an hour or so. Nothing worked but the skirt and top I had first picked out. It was marvelous. It did help me with passing too. I need a couple more skirts but to be honest I am more of a shorts and capris kinda gal!
Right now, I'm apparently passing as a somewhat macho twink. Yesterday, I came out to two of my friends, and mentioned how I'd been femming up my wardrobe. One was a super-fashionable girl, the other was a rather twinky boy. Both of them were like "wait, you have?" I've worn tattered, baggy black clothes since I was 10. In the last month, I've been wearing brightly colored girl-cut tees and short shorts, and apparently, nobody thinks this is strange. Oh, and I shaved for the first time in... ever... even my legs! Amazing the things that people don't notice.
So apparently, despite all my effort, I'm fully in the closet. I've got to wait a few months before I can come out for real. But then, it's skirts & dresses whenever I damned well please.
What's really stopping me from wearing skirts: I love my long, flowy skirt. But I cannot walk up stairs without stepping on it. I'm gonna split my face open one of these days...
That's been my experience as well. I originally chose a skirt that could be mistaken for shorts, but when I got outed by a bratty teenager, I posted my situation on the neighborhood Facebook and was shocked by the support I got. I took it a little slow, but it wasn't necessary.
I've been out in skirts iand dresses before, although not close to where I live. It mostly takes an I-Don't-Give-a-->-bleeped-<- attitude and a little makeup.
I agree. I've been told by a number of people in my neighborhood that I've surprised them with my confidence and dignity. Its all about attitude. I own it 100%.
If only I could feel that way with regards to the lesbian community. Being pre-op makes me feel strange about it.
Quote from: jessical on July 16, 2015, 12:32:59 PM
I was self conscious about wearing a dress or skirt at first, but it actually helped me pass more. Now I don't even think about it.
This is one thing I've noticed.
Pants will show your (lack of) hips. Skirts and dresses, many of them will not.
iKate :) You know we've had this convo in the past. I think it's a natural feeling not to feel at ease when wearing dresses or skirt because in my case I feel like I am forcing my femininity to others which I find odd.
However, remember that day when I texted you regarding how I dread coming to work with a dress on. I'm way pass that now :) You will know when you are ready and when you do - you can't be stopped.
xoxo
April
Quote from: iKate on July 16, 2015, 10:39:54 AM
Do you go out in public wearing any feminine clothing? I'm primarily referring to people who go out in public dressed feminine.
When I was younger, 12-18 a lot. Sometimes fully.
Nowadays no. I'm sorry :p, that might change soon enough though ;-)
Now only jewelry and some shirts, blouses. Undergarments.
I might wear a skirt on this queer arts festival soon though. (cmon doooo itttt, do it do it do it, aww I don't dare to)
The biggest push I had was from my mom. When she said that I look a lot better in a dress than in pants that did it for me.
My mom suggested I stick to A-Line skirts and dresses. I pretty much like the styles better anyway and it hides a lot that's missing.
Apparently nothing now. Went to uni in a skirt for the first time yesterday. No problems what so ever, fesrs were all for nothing.
Too freaking cold for that today though.
The funny thing is that I stopped wearing jeans altogether when i went full-time. I have a few pairs or unisex and women's jeans in a drawer that I may wear again one day, but I still feel sort of oppressed by them because I had no other clothing options for 43 freaking years. I love picking out clothes every day that suit my mood and the occasion instead of defaulting to jeans and a guy shirt with the same old shoes.
I was another one who started using right after I went full time and experienced a higher degree passing as a result. I spent very little time towards the andro end of the spectrum and that was more because it takes time to accumulate clothes. I suppose I tried to over compensate when I first started. The key is to do what you want and when your ready to. No reason rush before your ready. Hugs
Mariah
I'd love to wear skirts... except I haven't started hair removal yet, and my legs are *much* too hairy.
I hadn't thought about dress skirts, honestly. I need to go clothes shopping this weekend anyway; I might look into it.
Quote from: iKate on July 16, 2015, 09:37:50 AM
I must admit that I had this fear of going out in public with a skirt or dress for a long time now. I just don't know. The reason was pretty silly too, in that wearing pants would not get people laughing at me or staring. But if I wear pants and a femme top, HOW is that any different?
So when going full time I just said, "screw it" and I wear skirts and dresses almost exclusively now. In fact my loose fitting jeans are probably going to be donated and I'm keeping maybe 3-4 pairs of the tighter ones.
The amazing thing is that public reaction is about the same, in terms of stares and looks. So I was worried for nothing.
Live and learn, I guess.
The visual impact of wearing skirt first time to friends and colleagues is far greater than wearing other stuffs. This means that, , despite initial confusions, people will accept you as a woman quickly. Human beings are very flexible, and your image to them will change. Yes. Wearing skirts helps pass as a woman.
Everyday I wear skirt and dress.
barbie~~
I stayed away from dresses and skirts for the first couple weeks I started dressing at work. I figured it would be a little easier for people to get used to me. I now wear skirts once or twice a week, but so far no dresses. I'm thinking that needs to change! :)
For me it is almost the polar opposite. I spent a lifetime forced to wear slacks. So it is awfully hard to keep me out of dresses and skirts. Though, at times jeans are far more appropriate so I go with the flow, feeling a bit out of place.
Unfortunately for me I don't have the option of wearing a skirt at work. None of the women I work with do, ever. I would look silly. I would have to change my career. I may be headed that way eventually but I like my job. If I go to the opening for the next show we hang, that's my moment!
First time I went out, was in a gray pleated mini 2" heel ankle boots and a T-shirt. I probably looked a tart though.
Ive become a lot more conservative about what I wear now.
although i do keep telling myself I need A new dress, but aparr from that first outing I havent worn a skirt or dress out. I do wear short shorts when its realy hot.
I think mostdays its my leg hair stopping me, im lazy too much fuss, but when i do treat myself, I go for shorts, I think thats because, being pre opp, I feel more secure in shorts.
Quote from: ButterflyVickster on July 16, 2015, 06:51:42 PM
First time I went out, was in a gray pleated mini 2" heel ankle boots and a T-shirt. I probably looked a tart though.
Ive become a lot more conservative about what I wear now.
although i do keep telling myself I need A new dress, but aparr from that first outing I havent worn a skirt or dress out. I do wear short shorts when its realy hot.
I think mostdays its my leg hair stopping me, im lazy too much fuss, but when i do treat myself, I go for shorts, I think thats because, being pre opp, I feel more secure in shorts.
I get nervous sometimes when I go out in skirts or dresses please tell me that will get better?
Sent from my SM-T217S using Tapatalk
Quote from: bchigdon10 on July 16, 2015, 07:10:10 PM
I get nervous sometimes when I go out in skirts or dresses please tell me that will get better?
Sent from my SM-T217S using Tapatalk
For me I noticed that I had a style, and that made chosing dresses and skirts easeyer, simply, does it go with this top and that top and those shoes.
at first I was thinking only about the one item when I shopped, so what i wore somtimes made me stand out. So I started fitting new things I bought with multiple older items. and if i could incorperate the new item into my exsisting wardrobe, I felt much better wearing it, an it suited me more.
My best advisei is, if wearing a pertticuler item is making you nervouse, dont wear it, by yourself. Aka if dresses make you nervouse, wat untill you going out with other people wearing dresses. get used to wearing them in group settings, and when you ready move onto solo outings, your solo setting can still be part of a group setting too, eg, go by yourself to your friends house in your clothes, and go out with friend from ther.
does it get better, id say over time yes, why? do somthing enough and you will get used to it.
Quote from: ButterflyVickster on July 16, 2015, 06:51:42 PM
...I think thats because, being pre opp, I feel more secure in shorts.
I didn't think about that but, yeah, that is totally part of it for me. I am super self conscious about that. Oh well, in eight months I will have met my insurance company's requirements and that will all change.
Quote from: awilliams1701 on July 16, 2015, 01:36:51 PM
I agree. I've been told by a number of people in my neighborhood that I've surprised them with my confidence and dignity. Its all about attitude. I own it 100%.
If only I could feel that way with regards to the lesbian community. Being pre-op makes me feel strange about it.
I've been told by everyone basically that I'm really confident and brave. I don't think I'm brave, I'm just normal. Confident, absolutely.
I am more interested to know what started me - since I cannot be stopped ...
I think it may have been getting raised to Bowie and glam rock in general.
All I want to wear is skirts and dresses... What stops me is the idea of someone looking at me as if I was a guy wearing a dress. I think for most people that would be it.
I am Boy Zoe - if I want to wear a mini and a leather jacket - I will!
What are these pants you speak of? :-) one month into full time, I still haven't bought pants yet, not that I could they would look awful with my body right now.
anything that can be done in pants can be done in a knee length skirt, though some things may end up being a bit revealing
Serena
I like things simple and try to keep it that way. I usually do shorts/pants, and a cutish top. Haven't moved up I guess to dresses or skirts just yet.
When first started wearing shorts, I started with longer ones (like guys length but def women's) and carpri's. I bought a couple shorter shorts but couldn't wear out, wasn't there yet mentally, was uncomfortable and didn't know how others would react I guess. Not really use to showing so much skin yet lol.
I've wore em a few times now. Was really worried about what my brother would say when wore over there but he didn't say nothing (he not the type to tho either..). Kinda worried that perhaps I don't dress my age all that well sometimes, idk..
I guess my number one reason haven't done a dress or skirt yet (besides what to wear with it) is this (and I can't believe nobody else mentioned yet!): I'd prolly be flashing my undies sitting down...nobody needs or wants to see that LOL! But ya, I'd definitely have to watch out for that and pay attention to how I am sitting...
One day tho...one day
Quote from: LivingTheDream on July 17, 2015, 01:19:53 AM
I guess my number one reason haven't done a dress or skirt yet (besides what to wear with it) is this (and I can't believe nobody else mentioned yet!): I'd prolly be flashing my undies sitting down...nobody needs or wants to see that LOL! But ya, I'd definitely have to watch out for that and pay attention to how I am sitting...
Its really easy keep you're legs together as you sit down and cross them once you are sitting. Now getting a good gust of wind is another story.
i was wearing skirts before i even started hrt lol, but i also identified as nonbinary at the time and wanted to appear really queer. at the same time i'm full time and i still dont wear dresses, i just cant do it right now. wearing dresses makes me really dysphoric, and i cant tell if its because i feel like i look like a boy in a dress or if its because im kind of a tomboy and never really wanted to wear dresses to begin with
Quote from: iKate on July 16, 2015, 09:37:50 AM
Wearing skirts and dresses, what's stopping you?
Why doesn't everyone? Why does anyone?
This conversation got me to wear a skirt to work for the first time today. Nothing happened in fact a few of the other women here complimented me on it, a lot of them are wearing skirts today as it is almost 100 degrees outside. I have been full time at work for awhile, just never wore a skirt here before. Seems wearing a skirt was just another one of those things I needlessly worried about like starting to carry a purse last summer.
Quote from: Stevie on July 17, 2015, 02:54:09 PM
This conversation got me to wear a skirt to work for the first time today. Nothing happened in fact a few of the other women here complimented me on it, a lot of them are wearing skirts today as it is almost 100 degrees outside. I have been full time at work for awhile, just never wore a skirt here before. Seems wearing a skirt was just another one of those things I needlessly worried about like starting to carry a purse last summer.
Where you nervous about it?
Sent from my SM-T217S using Tapatalk
I really wish I could cross my legs, but no hips + fat thighs makes it impossible. :-(
Ugh... I know that's going to be a tough milestone for me. For now, I'm obviously male-looking (even if a pretty male-looking person) and I can get away with cutesy modest tops and modest make-up (no colors, just shades). The stares I get are either from old people or from those who seem interested in me. Gay guys seem to suddenly be giving me "the look" and even attention from the ladies seem to have increased since going out as myself, which I thought was strange.
My point is that apparently I come off as an effeminate gay man or some extreme metrosexual based on the looks I'm getting. It's actually pretty comfortable right now because I doubt anybody suspects that I'm a woman or transgender.
But, eventually, I won't be able to pass as a cisgender man and I'll have to deal with the awkward reactions, anyway. At that point, I think I'll start wearing skirts and dresses in public, regardless of my ability to pass. That will be either a wonderful or terrible moment.
Quote from: bchigdon10 on July 17, 2015, 03:11:21 PM
Where you nervous about it?
Sent from my SM-T217S using Tapatalk
A little bit but I was also looking forward to it, so I guess you would call it nervous excitement.
Quote from: iKate on July 16, 2015, 09:37:50 AM
I must admit that I had this fear of going out in public with a skirt or dress for a long time now. I just don't know. The reason was pretty silly too, in that wearing pants would not get people laughing at me or staring. But if I wear pants and a femme top, HOW is that any different?
So when going full time I just said, "screw it" and I wear skirts and dresses almost exclusively now. In fact my loose fitting jeans are probably going to be donated and I'm keeping maybe 3-4 pairs of the tighter ones.
The amazing thing is that public reaction is about the same, in terms of stares and looks. So I was worried for nothing.
Live and learn, I guess.
I don't wear them simply because I don't like them.
Nothing is stopping me. I exclusively wear short skirts and a few dresses. My legs are my best feminine feature so I like to show them off.
Quote from: iKate on July 16, 2015, 02:41:56 PM
This is one thing I've noticed.
Pants will show your (lack of) hips. Skirts and dresses, many of them will not.
I feel like it's the opposite problem for me with flowy dressses. In general, I feel like short shorts and a crop top accentuate my curves the most, but that would look too skimpy probably. I honestly really hate high waisted jeans and I don't like high waisted denim shorts either. I'm okay with some other materials in high waisted shorts but still prefer low waisted whenever possible. I wonder why that is? I'm fine with the feeling of a tight dress on my midriff, so why does having that gap make a skirt or pants less comfortable? Either way, I want to show off my midriff whenever possible without being considered "slutty" by my peers and such.
For me wearing skirts or a dress is really liberating (especially in the Australian summers) when you don't have to wear stockings or pantie hose. All my dresses are just above the knee (I haven't got any long dresses) although I do have one midi skirt which is shaped for my new bottom (buttocks increased by nearly 2" projection. But i love wearing mini skirts (well not micro mini) but ones that always feel you need to pull down when you sit.. Also I do have some really nice leggings especially one pair of really nice palazzo pants:-
http://www.dreamdiva.com.au/category-pants/printed-pallazo-pant.html (http://www.dreamdiva.com.au/category-pants/printed-pallazo-pant.html)
I also like my dresses to be either low cut or sleeveless,
See one of mine:
http://www.dreamdiva.com.au/dresses/loose-fitting-swing-dress.html (http://www.dreamdiva.com.au/dresses/loose-fitting-swing-dress.html)
plus I have an absolutely gorgeous pink party dress fully lined with a pretty petticoat off the shoulder
I just have to stick to dresses until I get my weight down.
I'd love to! If I had my way, I'd be wearing a skirt to work everyday, but I haven't come out yet and I'm still quite some time away from going full time. In the mean time, I'll just keep adding to my wardrobe.
- Alex
Quote from: judithlynn on July 18, 2015, 12:00:38 AM
See one of mine:
http://www.dreamdiva.com.au/dresses/loose-fitting-swing-dress.html (http://www.dreamdiva.com.au/dresses/loose-fitting-swing-dress.html)
plus I have an absolutely gorgeous pink party dress fully lined with a pretty petticoat off the shoulder
Judithlynn..I adore that dress! :)
Quote from: Sabrina on July 17, 2015, 06:46:45 PM
Nothing is stopping me. I exclusively wear short skirts and a few dresses. My legs are my best feminine feature so I like to show them off.
My legs are my best feminie feature too I'm 5'8 and I love wearing my high heels.
Sent from my SM-T217S using Tapatalk
My thighs are a little too muscular so in public I only wear skirts and dresses that don't show my thighs. My legs have few scars as well so I usually wear stockings when going out in skirts or dresses.
Don't know why but wearing a t-shirt dress inside my apartment I'm fine but the thought of going outside scares the heck outta me
Sent from my SGH-T399N using Tapatalk
I don't wear dresses as I've been suffering major anxiety just setting foot outside, I went to my locall pride parade last weekend and had to get off the bus halfway there as it was getting too full and I was a heartbeat away from full panic, I had to wait for four or five buses until one turned up empty enough for mke to get on.
Dealing with the extra stares I'd get if I wore a dress would be too much for me to deal with right now which is a shame as I have loads of lovely dresses.
When I do have to go out I wear jeans, t-shirts and a baggy coat to hide my breasts, this will probably continue until I get back into employment and save up for ffs
Marlee;
Dream Diva have an on line store and ship overseas. More than 60% of their sales are On line. They are a very trans friendly store (for any girls in Australia!).
All the clothes are designed for Size 14-26. I take a size 22, although with my weight loss I am coming down to size 20. Their sizing is bang on and their clothes are not frumpy just because they are cut bigger. Most dresses are for instance just above the knee.
Their prices are also very good.
Right now the Winter Sales (remember it s winter now in Australia) is just starting with some great prices. Its Spring for us from Sept to November, then Summer arrives on 1st December, so expect to see the new Summer range on Dream Diva about mid September.
I just love their clothes and its my favourite store in Melbourne. I also have a great Shoe store (I am lucky taking a size 10 Australian Women's shoe). I also have a great Corsetiere and and a really nice lingerie shop that I use (Simone Perieli)
Judith
Thanks Judith!
I'm gonna do some shopping. I also like Torrid and DHstyles :)
I like bohemian skirts =)
Quote from: Valwen on July 17, 2015, 03:18:07 PM
I really wish I could cross my legs, but no hips + fat thighs makes it impossible. :-(
Funny thing is, I can't sit without crossing my legs now. It just feels uncomfortable any other way.
Quote from: Stevie on July 17, 2015, 02:54:09 PM
This conversation got me to wear a skirt to work for the first time today. Nothing happened in fact a few of the other women here complimented me on it, a lot of them are wearing skirts today as it is almost 100 degrees outside. I have been full time at work for awhile, just never wore a skirt here before. Seems wearing a skirt was just another one of those things I needlessly worried about like starting to carry a purse last summer.
Yay!
I'm too much of a perfectionist. I keep seeing stubble that I missed on my legs. I can't go out in public with them uncovered knowing that I can see missed stubble and wondering how many are in areas I can't see!
Going first time out tomorrow in skirt and it's the beginning of the summer holidays 😔 kids
I wear skirts and dresses almost exclusively at home. Current fashion seems to be tending towards trousers for women. I find dresses in particular (no waistband) so much more comfortable than trousers that I can't understand why more cis women don't wear them more often. To me it is one of the biggest perks of being female!
If I ever work up the courage to present female more widely, I'll wear dresses and skirts as much as possible. So all the time then. :)
Ummm I know its rediculous since I wear exclusively female clothes anyways. But for me its my self image and self confidence. With my voice male and my face and adams apple, its just my biggest fear is being seen as a guy in a dress and well ya. I also have issues with shorter shorts too..
So yeah I did it and nothing
I'd so dearly love to do this. Been thinking a lot about it lately. I just wished I wasn't do damned big. That's My worry.