Having been at my new job for almost two months now I've been feeling pretty relaxed and comfortable and decided I had no reason to reveal I was trans. It's a LGBTI friendly/safe work space (or so they claim... certainly G friendly!!) so revealing I'm trans should be of no issue or consequence but I was really digging that not being a thing. I knew when I signed up for the job that they would do criminal checks, but nothing happened for the last seven weeks so I got lulled into a false state and just figured it wasn't going to happen. Wrong! I was sent a form by the HR person yesterday and asked to return it next week. While I have no criminal shenanigans in my past the issue for me is that I have to provide a birth certificate (they never asked for it when I started) and reveal past names/aliases... all so the cops can get back to them and tell them I've done no murders or whatever it is they do they do these things for. My birth certificate has my new name on it, but still lists my gender as male and also lists my previous legal names.
Like I say, I don't have a problem with revealing I am trans, but I'm angry and upset about it being forced on me, inadvertent and unintentional though it may be. I will talk to the HR woman next week - ask her if this material is kept private and confidential (I expect the answer is yes) and then tell her I am trans and tell her that I'm currently not inclined to make that status known and would expect it to remain between us. I'm really resentful about this - cis people have no sense of how humiliating these kind of processes can be even if that it isn't the actual purpose of them.
So sorry that your having to do that. I have no doubt that it should remain confidential, but still it stinks your being forced to do that. It should be our choice as to when and if we release that information. I'm sure everything will be fine. Good luck with HR and Hugs
Mariah
If it had happened in the first week like I expected I could have just gotten the humiliation out of the way and moved on.
Hi Grace...
hugs, bit of an argh moment, I feel for you...
I think your approach is exactly the right approach, and, yeah I didn't even consider the police checks.. although generally they attach a statement as part of the employment acceptance that the "company reserve the right to carry out a police check, please notify your acceptance of this"... well this has been the case in my last 2 fulltime employs.
Kinda sucks that it appeared this way tho.
Katy xx
Yuck. Unfair.
But, you're still your fabulous self. Even if you get outed, don't forget that you're an amazing woman who makes a major impact on a lot of lives. You can hold your head high and be proud of who you are.
sorry Ms. Grace your going through this. I lived in fear for 20 years. I lied on my application for employment. I told them I never served because I have a bad discharge .I know I shouldn't even mention it on this forum because there are people who wouldn't take lt nicely. I'm a Viet Nam draft resister with an FBI record.. I think about 10 years into my job the store I was working at got robbed and the FBI came in and it was non accusatorily asked if I had served in the army and I admitted that I had. They didn't purse any further , but I was always in fear. The best is to get it out. Be free. Your a good person you deserve to be happy.
That is what I would have expected too. I know here generally were suppose to give that info up when applying for the job.
Mariah
Quote from: Ms Grace on July 17, 2015, 08:45:29 PM
If it had happened in the first week like I expected I could have just gotten the humiliation out of the way and moved on.
I'm so sorry to hear that Grace.
That said, HR should keep it confidential.
I have no problems revealing trans status to HR, but I don't feel that everyone I work with should know.
Even though I transitioned on the job, I don't tell new people. If they find out, that's cool but I'm not going to actively discuss it with them. Even with people that know almost no one brings it up.
The birth certificate thing is interesting for me. Mine is a foreign birth certificate and no job here has ever asked me for it. They have asked for identification and my social security card but that's about it.
Sorry to hear that Ms Grace. It would be nice if they made it easier to change the birth certificate gender. Same with a passport for that matter.
Grace,
I have to have a Police check for dealing with vulnerable people and a separate one for dealing with children. I have to have the intensive one and not the casual look over.
I had to have my 3 year update of both in the last month. New name, new gender, old birth certificate.
It came back clean (of course), no mention whatsoever of gender change, name change or anything identifying my past.
If it had done I would have got my lawyer on to them in microseconds as my personal details are confidential by Law. Same as your's are. It is Federal Law in Aus.
Don't worry.
Yeah, I don't expect there'll be anything on the report my concern is that HR will see the various forms I need to submit before forwarding them on to the cops and/or keep copies of that documentation. :-\
Nah, you have to fill the forms yourself. No one sees them but you. They just see the report. They have to sign what you send in but they can't see the documents.
OK, thanks...I hope so. Guess I'll see how it unfolds! :)
Before I figured it out, I was always curious why it mattered if our birth certificates were changed or not... It makes perfect sense now... And I can see where it's very problematic if the gender isn't changed on it...
My profession has to know basically everything about me, thus the probing of deep inward knowledge which led to my self-discovery in the first place... But either way... They'll know I'm Trans* and it will follow me my entire career
It's a crappy and stressful situation to be in, and I don't envy you it!
Having said that I do support the reasoning behind criminal records checks. They just need to be handled correctly in a way that doesn't take away a person's right to keep their personal info confidential.
I hope it works out OK for you Grace :)
If the issue is that you have to reveal past names/gender, ask if you can send the forms directly to the agency running the check if you prefer not to reveal your status to your employer. I know one member on here who passed her check for a security clearance that way, and in some places like the UK that's standard procedure for handling transgender people's name changes.
Alternately, if it's been a while (typically at least seven years) since your name/gender change (or it took place before adulthood), you could also ask if you need to disclose information which applied only that long ago. (Some background checks only go back a certain number of years, and only in special cases can they look back before you were of legal age.)
Grace, I am sorry that happened to you. You are going about it correctly and I hope everything is kept strictly confidential.
Just an update - yes, it has taken this long to get around to dealing with it!
Anyway, I just asked the HR woman if we could have a confidential chat. I said to her that I was transgender and that I hadn't told anyone - her response "you don't need to if you don't want to". I then told her that although I saw this as a very supportive and LGBT accepting workplace I wasn't ready to say anything until I felt ready. She was awesome and said everything was completely confidential. So, yay. And phew. :)
Good to hear! :)
Nice to hear HR was very cool about it - hugs anyway
Quote from: Ms Grace on August 05, 2015, 05:13:38 AM
Just an update - yes, it has taken this long to get around to dealing with it!
Anyway, I just asked the HR woman if we could have a confidential chat. I said to her that I was transgender and that I hadn't told anyone - her response "you don't need to if you don't want to". I then told her that although I saw this as a very supportive and LGBT accepting workplace I wasn't ready to say anything until I felt ready. She was awesome and said everything was completely confidential. So, yay. And phew. :)
That's pretty awesome. I am always of the opinion that HR should know. It helps protect you if there are laws against discrimination. In affirming workplaces they can also help you keep some degree of stealth.
My next job I am looking to be somewhat stealth. Not deep, deep stealth, I am just not telling anyone except HR.
I mean my current job is accepting and all but I have relationships with vendors who still have my old name in their address book. :\
And I suspect some of my colleagues are outing me to new people, probably not even realizing the harm it's doing, they figure they're just helping out, but they aren't.
At my job, I told one HR director behind closed doors and not even the other HR people seem to know as they interact with me just as any other woman. Maybe they do, maybe they don't. But my immediate colleagues do know.
Bad situation, good ending.
Hugs
Jen
Quite the relief I must say... but now I feel a little bit weird around the HR person. I dunno why, it's stupid, it's just because I know she knows something about me I'd rather she didn't. Ugh. Anyway, I'll get over it, it's nothing to feel uncomfortable about it and she isn't treating me any different.
I'm glad it all ended well Grace. Hugs :)
When I was still working as a social worker I made sure HR knew about my gender difference because it was good to have them on my side.
A good outcome, Grace even if you now have a slightly different relationship with HR. That is the thing giving me some thinking fodder. The reason below.
I have transitioned in place (it is going well, I suppose) and unfortunately the field I work in is so small, I couldn't change jobs doing what I do and retain my privacy as there is lots of chatter even between Sydney and Melbourne. Change country perhaps?
Your experience is interesting to me and the reason is that I am producing a 30 minute radio show on "Stealth" although I don't like the term as it comes with a fair amount of baggage in the trans world. My focus is the right to expect your privacy to be respected so that you can get on with a happy and fulfilling life. I am also not just focussing on trans folk but also straight-acting everybody. In your recent experience, other than the HR relationship which isn't something you can gloss over as your response to that is real, everything seems to have worked as well as it probably should. Not perfect but still...
Thanks so much for sharing. You have highlighted an real life issue we can and probably will all face.
Emma