Last night, was, fan-farking-tastic. I went out with a girlfriend that I just met a couple weeks ago. She's absolutely wonderful to hang out with, we get along so well. I got all dressed up in my girl pants, mary janes, hose, wonderbra and a nice scoop neck shirt that I can't really describe b/c I'm a newb at this still. Anyways, it was very work appropriate and professional attire, for a girl.
We went DRESS SHOPPING OMG SO FUN. I must've tried on a dozen things and bought two of them, spending way more than I should have. /embarrassed... :embarrassed: :embarrassed: :embarrassed:
But, dayum. They give me curves, they downplay my shoulders, and I nearly melted in place while wearing them. One's a little more work-dressy like I'd want to go out with the girls after work, and the other is va-va-voooom sexy night on the town.
I also had some disappointments like, "This would look PERFECT if only it was taken in like a half inch on each side." So I had to put those back b/c I'm not getting anything altered at this point, and I haven't even started developing any hips yet or anything.
Afterwards we went to Target to pick up some things and then out to dinner and talked and talked and talked and ate and ate and ate. I think I gained 2 pounds. :embarrassed:
It was the most fun I can remember having in so long. I was genuinely happy, and I'm still glowing from that today. I've been out before to visit friends at their house or to go to support groups, but this was my first time out in the big bad world!
So that's, clothes shopping for a couple hours, shopping at Target and going out to dinner, all while en-femme! The waitress even said at one point, "What can I get you ladies to drink." D'awwwww! Yep, just checked, still glowing!
I'll see if I can get a photo of at least one of them this weekend as I'm wearing it over to her house for a get-together with a bunch of other girls. yay!
That's great - and clothes shopping with a girl friend/gal pal is always lots of fun!
Awesome!
It's really nice being comfortable in your own skin and having fun with the ladies.
And get ready to wear out your credit card clothes shopping - thats par for the course when you are a woman :laugh:
Hehe, my credit card is taking a break from shopping for a couple weeks. I do need some shoes though, hmmm....
So, Saturday was another victory! I got dressed up and went to get my eyebrows done and a haircut! My first "girl cut". She basically just trimmed the back since I was approaching the dangerous mullet zone, hah, and shaped up the rest so it's a cute bob with semi-bangs, awww. I love it. I've got really curly hair though so it's gonna take like a year and a half to get any decent length to it.
Anywho, after that, I even went to the grocery store a couple times (forgot something, had to go back), and finally got dressed up for another night out with the girls!
I really feel so liberated. I even brought my purse with me to work today (in guy mode) because I've discovered it's so much easier than carrying around my bookbag which has oodles of space for just a couple items, ridiculous to HAVE to carry something so large because of stigma, so eff it!
I am SO jealous and happy that your first outing was a wonderful experience. As a newbie, it gives me such hope!!! What a great idea sharing it with another gal.
Quote from: Molly Frances on August 09, 2015, 08:16:49 PM
I am SO jealous and happy that your first outing was a wonderful experience. As a newbie, it gives me such hope!!! What a great idea sharing it with another gal.
Hehe, I've since gotten dressed up even more and gone out. I definitely like dresses better than shirts and pants! :D All I can say is, find a friend and just do it! Nobody really cares as much as you think they will.
Quote from: KristinaM on July 23, 2015, 07:47:21 AM
I'll see if I can get a photo of at least one of them this weekend as I'm wearing it over to her house for a get-together with a bunch of other girls. yay!
Congrats on your first going out en femme.
Yes.
A picture is worth a thousand words.barbie~~
Quote from: barbie on August 10, 2015, 09:41:11 AM
Congrats on your first going out en femme.
Yes. A picture is worth a thousand words.
barbie~~
I forgot to get a picture. :-( But they're coming offer to my house next weekend, so maybe then!
I went out to my trans support group last night for the first time in a couple months. They only meet once a month and I had to miss a couple b/c of night classes at school. The leader of the group said she didn't even recognize me until I spoke! So I took that as a compliment. :D My friend came with me.
As nervous as I am to do this, here goes a picture! Can you guess which one is me? lol. After the meeting, the two of us went out to Denny's like this.
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi113.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fn236%2Famethyst2513%2FKristina%2FIMG_20150810_212601_zps1mqonlee.jpg&hash=c58d5097d0886579fef345ba68d0a71e6b119569)
Quote from: KristinaM on August 11, 2015, 01:08:02 PM
I went out to my trans support group last night for the first time in a couple months. They only meet once a month and I had to miss a couple b/c of night classes at school. The leader of the group said she didn't even recognize me until I spoke! So I took that as a compliment. :D My friend came with me.
As nervous as I am to do this, here goes a picture! Can you guess which one is me? lol. After the meeting, the two of us went out to Denny's like this.
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi113.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fn236%2Famethyst2513%2FKristina%2FIMG_20150810_212601_zps1mqonlee.jpg&hash=c58d5097d0886579fef345ba68d0a71e6b119569)
Oh, Yes! It looks great, and you seem to be very happy. You have such a wonder girl friend!
The photo does say a thousand words!
barbie~~
Quote from: KristinaM on August 11, 2015, 01:08:02 PM
As nervous as I am to do this, here goes a picture!
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi113.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fn236%2Famethyst2513%2FKristina%2FIMG_20150810_212601_zps1mqonlee.jpg&hash=c58d5097d0886579fef345ba68d0a71e6b119569)
o...m...g... :) you look so cute!! Love the picture!
Quote from: SoroyaAR on August 11, 2015, 09:04:26 PM
o...m...g... :) you look so cute!! Love the picture!
Quote from: barbie on August 11, 2015, 02:34:55 PM
Oh, Yes! It looks great, and you seem to be very happy. You have such a wonder girl friend!
The photo does say a thousand words!
barbie~~
I think ya'll are being too nice! I sometimes think I look cute when I see myself in the mirror right after putting on my makeup, but I don't think I photograph well at all. :( I'm the one on the right by the way in case you got me mixed up with my cis-friend. :P
Quote from: KristinaM on August 13, 2015, 11:09:11 AM
I'm the one on the right by the way in case you got me mixed up
I knew which one you were. :)
So, one more step taken! I got dressed up Sunday morning and went to a comic convention in town. I spent all day at the convention in girl-mode, even used the restroom! >_< eek! I was there with my friend from the picture again, and we met a bunch of other girls from my Geeky Girls Facebook group. Most of them were cosplaying different characters. But I was out and about for like 6 hours in girl-mode yesterday at the convention, walking all around and out to lunch. After the con we went to Victoria's Secret so I could pick out some smaller panties to help keep things in check, lol. Then I went and picked up chinese food for dinner!
Today in therapy, I realized that I no longer get excited about dressing up and going out per se. It just feels normal and makes me happy to dress and express as myself. On the flip side, I get depressed having to dress up in boy-mode again for work. I'm carrying my purse at work now though in conjunction with my nail polish, earrings, girl pants and girl shoes, hah!
Tomorrow I get to pick out new glasses, yay! Totally ready to get a new pair (with the proper prescription) that will help feminize my appearance even more. :D
So..... With girl pants, girl shoes, earrings, nail polish and a purse going for me now, I'll soon be adding "girl" glasses, and I'm in the process of growing out my hair, while also growing bewbs... It probably won't be long before I have to really start answering some questions at work, lol.
Quote from: KristinaM on August 17, 2015, 12:05:43 PM
On the flip side, I get depressed having to dress up in boy-mode again for work.
Yes. It is stressful. Because of that, your pathway as m2f transgender is irreversible in overall. You can go forward, but hardly can go back. Enjoy your journey!
barbie~~
Lol, I've settled in for a long-term tuck today. I doubt anyone will notice, but that's not the point. I put on my tiny panties from Victoria's Secret that I bought this weekend and secured everything away, we'll see how the day goes. I'm so much more confident in my girl pants this way than without!
Quote from: barbie on August 17, 2015, 06:32:10 PM
Yes. It is stressful. Because of that, your pathway as m2f transgender is irreversible in overall. You can go forward, but hardly can go back. Enjoy your journey!
barbie~~
And I'm fine with that. I thoroughly enjoy the way I am. A herd of wild horses couldn't drag me back to wearing only boy clothes anymore! I'd rather go naked.
Quote from: KristinaM on August 18, 2015, 09:33:05 AM
Lol, I've settled in for a long-term tuck today. I doubt anyone will notice, but that's not the point. I put on my tiny panties from Victoria's Secret that I bought this weekend and secured everything away, we'll see how the day goes. I'm so much more confident in my girl pants this way than without!
It went very well I must say, so today I'm back for more at work in even tighter pants, lol.
And I really feel like I'm starting to "fit in" with the girls at work a lot more in conversation and casual groups in the break room. yay!
You sound like you're having a great time, which is wonderful.
I know the experience of making a few step by step changes at work - growing hair, earring studs, wearing clear nail polish, boots over jeans...
If you haven't done so already (and assuming you're in a sane and supportive environment) maybe look towards speaking to your hr/personnel people about transitioning at work in the future. While people will "notice" things (tight jeans! :)) now, later on you may be better off with people knowing in a sort of "orderly" way, rather than being "outed" at a time that is not of your choosing.
I wish you all the very best with whatever you do and however you do it! :) :)
Quote from: rosinstraya on August 19, 2015, 08:06:50 AM
You sound like you're having a great time, which is wonderful.
Indeed I am! :D
Quote from: rosinstraya on August 19, 2015, 08:06:50 AM
If you haven't done so already (and assuming you're in a sane and supportive environment) maybe look towards speaking to your hr/personnel people about transitioning at work in the future. While people will "notice" things (tight jeans! :)) now, later on you may be better off with people knowing in a sort of "orderly" way, rather than being "outed" at a time that is not of your choosing.
I notified HR before I even started hormones, LOL! I was serious then, and I'm more serious about it now. HR has already started helping in some ways. They've spoken with our insurance company and are adding coverage for therapy and hormones so far, but not surgery. I'm following up to see if they plan to add coverage for surgery in the future since I will be needing it in the next 3-5 years probably...
So, HR knows and two of my coworkers know, but that's it at work. I know people have questions, but so far nobody is approaching me really.
Sounds like all is going well! If people at work ask, you could just tell them that you're eating better and can now fit into tighter clothing........ :laugh:
Quote from: KristinaM on August 19, 2015, 12:55:21 PM
I know people have questions, but so far nobody is approaching me really.
As long as your perform well at your work place, nobody will meddle with you. People are busy doing their own works and facing their own concerns.
barbie~~
So, I've all but said screw it. I'm wearing about 90% girl clothes at work most days (no dresses yet though!), and I've gone out to lunch and dinner and shopping several times in girl mode now and the jitters are practically gone! I realize that I'm me and I feel pretty and happy and I'm no longer overly concerned with how other people view me around town. :) I wear mostly girl clothes at home when relaxing too. My wardrobe is finally big enough to sustain all of that for most of the week, yay! My wife just doesn't want me going out in public with her as Kristina yet :( So that's kinda sad, but she says it's only until January, after we get through this semester at school and our baby being born and the holiday season. I'm asking a lot of her I know, so I don't suppose that's too much for her to ask of me. And she hates the way my high heels sound clip-clopping on the kitchen floor. >_<
AND, I ordered a new pair of glasses yesterday, ladies frames of course! Woo wooooo...
Quote from: KristinaM on August 26, 2015, 09:19:30 AM
So, I've all but said screw it. I'm wearing about 90% girl clothes at work most days (no dresses yet though!), and I've gone out to lunch and dinner and shopping several times in girl mode now and the jitters are practically gone! I realize that I'm me and I feel pretty and happy and I'm no longer overly concerned with how other people view me around town. :) I wear mostly girl clothes at home when relaxing too. My wardrobe is finally big enough to sustain all of that for most of the week, yay! My wife just doesn't want me going out in public with her as Kristina yet :( So that's kinda sad, but she says it's only until January, after we get through this semester at school and our baby being born and the holiday season. I'm asking a lot of her I know, so I don't suppose that's too much for her to ask of me. And she hates the way my high heels sound clip-clopping on the kitchen floor. >_<
AND, I ordered a new pair of glasses yesterday, ladies frames of course! Woo wooooo...
Yes. It is thrilling. Enjoy your new adventure!
barbie~~
More public experience! I went to see the Devil's Carnival in Winston Salem, NC with a friend last night! At one point I was in the bathroom fixing my hair and I literally only saw Kristina staring back at me. It was quite existential...
Pictures!
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi113.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fn236%2Famethyst2513%2FKristina%2F11997084_10153249126774541_1969843998_n_zpsyusxysjh.jpg&hash=230801df66e906cc51aafad5c3706dc8574872a3)
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi113.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fn236%2Famethyst2513%2FKristina%2FIMG_20150904_200907_zpsly3sldhb.jpg&hash=e8a7ec38c890e0f8c97103c3ddb4524c1fad1fce)
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi113.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fn236%2Famethyst2513%2FKristina%2FIMG_20150905_021034_zpsfe60bfux.jpg&hash=a8fd84e045f191203a94e04092f9f1064f21edee)
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi113.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fn236%2Famethyst2513%2FKristina%2FIMG_20150905_021127_zpsgu4gdyxh.jpg&hash=27c4df6c45a995fc74a17bffd915ca6bad58f666)
Quote from: KristinaM on September 05, 2015, 11:38:26 AM
More public experience! I went to see the Devil's Carnival in Winston Salem, NC with a friend last night! At one point I was in the bathroom fixing my hair and I literally only saw Kristina staring back at me. It was quite existential...
Pictures!
Yes. You look great! I wish you have longer hair. Be confident and enjoy it!
barbie~~
It's growing! About an inch a month... Next summer will be great. :-D
So, going out is getting a tad addicting, hehe.
I'm getting better with makeup, so I spent about 15 minutes throwing this on so I could go to the ABC store and pick up a pizza for dinner. Can you see why I picked the avatar I did?
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi113.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fn236%2Famethyst2513%2FKristina%2FIMG_20150905_184134_zps2xtw4at7.jpg&hash=bd0efaaa13b0e379bb1b936b9fa97fa61a4b89e6)
yes very addicting
Wearing dangly earrings at work today!
Quote from: KristinaM on September 05, 2015, 10:38:33 PM
So, going out is getting a tad addicting, hehe.
I'm getting better with makeup, so I spent about 15 minutes throwing this on so I could go to the ABC store and pick up a pizza for dinner. Can you see why I picked the avatar I did?
Yes. Your hair style is now similar to your avatar.
You look natural and happy.
barbie~~
Ahhhhh!!!!
So, I've had two great moments in the last couple weeks, and I feel I have to share them.
October 7th: I was at the doctor and I struck up a conversation with the lady sitting next to me. Me and my wife had just had a baby, so of course it was a topic of conversation. Which then led to us talking about how long we'd been together and how long we'd been married. Then she caught me off guard by asking where we had gone to get married 8 years ago since it wasn't legal in NC back then!!! I didn't have a "cis-female" response prepared so I just explained that when we were married I'd been a guy and it actually was legal in NC, lol.
October 20th: I was in line at the pharmacy asking about some of the sinus medicine they keep behind the counter. Once I'd picked out what I wanted and gathered my items together to check out, they asked for my ID for the sinus medicine. I handed the guy my ID and he looked at me and said, "I'm sorry ma'am, I need to see YOUR ID." I nearly died inside and I was overjoyed at the same time! I was so happy that he presumed I was female and so scared that I'd have to figure out how to prove it was me. I told him that it WAS my ID and he paused for a second and went on with the transaction. When I was done paying, he handed me my bag and said, "You have a nice day Ms. (last name)." I was glowing for hours afterward, and I guess I still am, haha. I wasn't even wearing my bra so I was completely flat chested, and that's what it usually takes to gender me female.
Looks like 2 more months should be plenty to get me ready for full time, assuming I can pull together a viable wardrobe...
Quote from: KristinaM on October 21, 2015, 08:15:38 AM
I didn't have a "cis-female" response prepared so I just explained that when we were married I'd been a guy and it actually was legal in NC, lol.
If I don't want to out myself, I always say "it wasn't that kind of marriage." It's a cryptic enough statement that people generally don't ask me more.
Quote from: suzifrommd on October 21, 2015, 09:16:26 AM
If I don't want to out myself, I always say "it wasn't that kind of marriage." It's a cryptic enough statement that people generally don't ask me more.
That's cool, thanks for the tip! I'm also Pagan, so that could be a unique segue.
Sent from my Nexus 5 using Tapatalk
Quote from: KristinaM on October 21, 2015, 08:15:38 AM
Ahhhhh!!!!
So, I've had two great moments in the last couple weeks, and I feel I have to share them.
October 7th: I was at the doctor and I struck up a conversation with the lady sitting next to me. Me and my wife had just had a baby, so of course it was a topic of conversation. Which then led to us talking about how long we'd been together and how long we'd been married. Then she caught me off guard by asking where we had gone to get married 8 years ago since it wasn't legal in NC back then!!! I didn't have a "cis-female" response prepared so I just explained that when we were married I'd been a guy and it actually was legal in NC, lol.
October 20th: I was in line at the pharmacy asking about some of the sinus medicine they keep behind the counter. Once I'd picked out what I wanted and gathered my items together to check out, they asked for my ID for the sinus medicine. I handed the guy my ID and he looked at me and said, "I'm sorry ma'am, I need to see YOUR ID." I nearly died inside and I was overjoyed at the same time! I was so happy that he presumed I was female and so scared that I'd have to figure out how to prove it was me. I told him that it WAS my ID and he paused for a second and went on with the transaction. When I was done paying, he handed me my bag and said, "You have a nice day Ms. (last name)." I was glowing for hours afterward, and I guess I still am, haha. I wasn't even wearing my bra so I was completely flat chested, and that's what it usually takes to gender me female.
Looks like 2 more months should be plenty to get me ready for full time, assuming I can pull together a viable wardrobe...
Yes. You seem to enjoy living as a lady.
You will soon learn how to avoid confusing people unnecessarily.
I use women's bathroom, just for avoiding embarrassing men. My ID already have my facial photo in en femme.
barbie~~
Quote from: barbie on October 22, 2015, 03:09:23 PM
Yes. You seem to enjoy living as a lady.
You will soon learn how to avoid confusing people unnecessarily.
I use women's bathroom, just for avoiding embarrassing men. My ID already have my facial photo in en femme.
barbie~~
<3 I do indeed.
I use the ladies room everywhere now if I'm dressed en femme even slightly. Except at work and on my floor. But I'll use the ladies restrooms on other floors in my building where nobody knows me.
Additionally, and I'm not really sure where else to put this and don't want to start a new thread, I mailed in my request forms for state and federal criminal background checks today! Now I just have to wait for those to get back (2-10 weeks?) and then I can submit my name change paperwork!!! Wooo, one more step closer to full time.
I get these moments of panic and sadness when no progress is being made, but once something like this happens, all that kinda melts away and I'm left with a feeling just going with the flow contentedly...
I guess this is now my thread for posting those "special moments." It'll be nice to have them all in one place probably.
This morning I got dressed like I normally do for work. All I did extra was put on a lightly padded A-cup bra (to hide my nipples honestly, they're getting kinda obvious) and lip gloss. So I'm dressed from head to toe as a woman, but I still am "male" at work officially. I don't know, I never thought this would happen though since it hasn't happened before.
Our building has 5 floors. My company has the whole 5th floor, the other 4 floors belong to other businesses. The 1st and 2nd floor though have public restrooms. So when I walked into the building this morning on the 1st floor, I headed straight for the restroom. Without thinking about it I just walked into the men's room like I normally do upstairs. This time though instead of being mostly empty, a guy was coming out at the same time I was going in. I heard him say, "Uhhh" and glanced him starting to follow me back in. So, I turned around and chuckled and headed for the ladies room. He said, "have a good day ma'am," so I said, "you too."
Sigh, I'm definitely happy about it, but it's weird to suddenly not be able to go where I've always gone by default.
KristinaM, Looks like you passed well there, Was it your bra?
I wouldn't think so, I had my coat on and my head down b/c I was walking like I was on a mission, lol. And he was much taller than me. I really think the coat plays a big role in my passing since it's a ladies wool winter coat with big black/silver buttons on the front. But, my hair is getting longer (still short by female standards), and I have on dangly earrings, lip gloss, and all girls clothes (slacks, polo, shoes, coat and of course the bra).
Seriously. I've seen guys who life weights with bigger pects than my boobs at this point, but I needed the bra today to protect my sensitive nipples as it seems the girls are currently going through a growth spurt! :P As an aside, the left is definitely bigger than the right at the moment, and it's been that way since the start.
KristinaM, you are definitely getting results from the hrt's. Your nipples will be very sensitive and just your shirt hitting them will make them hurt and stand at attention. When your boobs start to bounce when you go/down stairs is when you know you need a bra to hold them.