I'm cycling through so many names and honestly, I feel rather disappointed not that I don't want to change it. It's more that I can't seem to find a name that fits. I only like Japanese names and of course the reality of it is that none of them fit me since I am not from there.
It's very similar to that feeling you get when you have an eye on these shoes but they don't fit and the rest just feel lame. My parents hates this a lot and they tell me to grow up and represent my nationality by picking only spanish names. My mom specifically wants my name to be Luciana and doesn't give any other suggestion. I even considered Lucina and she just turns her head with this look that pisses me off.
I know it doesn't have to be right away but I am really annoyed by my parents at this point. They have been like this ever since my interest in Japanese culture rose. One day I made a joke about being half Japanese and I swear they were so offended they almost cried. I don't think I am getting any support from them...
Sorry for venting a bit here :S These hormones really do give me mood swings..
How did you guys end picking your names?
Hi,
I picked the feminine version of my given name. That is, Michelle.
But I like Martine myself. Currently I present with both -- Michelle-Martine -- according to Dutch name patterns, but when the time come to make legal change, I might actually go with just Martine. "Sorry parents" :)
Usually what comes to mind first is good to go with. Try it. Pick one! And spend some time with it. If you happen to wish to change that choice, go with the other. All the way until the legal change.
In my opinion, very few people either take the opportunity, or are compelled to, change their name. I think that one's name should have meaning... I mean, we get to choose this essentially once.
I chose Sigyn because my grandfather always called me his "little Loki", which held dear to me. He and my mother (his daughter) instilled in me my culture, my societal customs and manners, and my spiritual worldview. Sigyn is the wife of Loki, who expresses infinite patience and compassion, two traits I need to keep in mind constantly.
So, that's why Sigyn is my chosen name, not only as it is a 'religious' name, but to honor my ancestors.
Your post helps me a bit to try to remember way back when I went through transition. I personally changed my name to Katie. The reason I choose Katie though is something I have a hard time remembering. Perhaps it is just a favorite name! Needless to say there is no turning back for me and I am all good with my name.
I chose the first name Allison because in every short story I wrote from the time I was 10 there always was a female character named Allison. The name has been with me most of my life, it was an easy choice. Picking my middle name on the other hand, took forever. I wasn't 100% sure until the day I filed my name change paperwork in court.
My parents didn't check my sex before I was born. They had boy and girl names ready on hand.
I only found out what my girl name was recently. I have adopted it. I am still amazed by how well it fits.
I think you're really lucky that your parents are willing to call you by a new female name, even if they want to choose it, but it can be be a little annoying when parents want to choose everything for you. It sounds like a mother-daughter conflict. If I were in your situation, I would try and work out some kind of compromise, like letting your parents choose a first name and you can choose a middle name or the other way around, while letting your parents call you by the female name they chose and you can go by the name you chose with everyone else. My compromise will be keeping my initials and the first three letters of my middle name.
I chose my "new" first name about 20 yrs. ago. Flirted with the name "Jeanne" 30 yrs. before that, but decided that it could be mis-gendered. Chose "Joi" (a French spelling) because it was a little different from the traditional English spelling of "Joy" and it totally represented how I felt and still feel about my authentic self. My middle name was Michael and my "new" middle name "Michelle" represents the feminine form of the same name. These choices fit well because I keep the same initials that I always had.
Good luck!
Joi Michelle
I chose the name Janet. I wanted a name that was far from my male one. However, after I decided I saw 3 letters being in both.
Besides I like being Janet
Have a lovely day.
I guess it is normal that I feel a bit sad changing my name after so many years. All my friends have called me by that name for years. At the same time I hated that name haha, I guess it will soon be goodbye for Juan!
I really like Janie but my parents were just like "ugh" haha
I definitely will try that as I never had a middle name and maybe they would b e okay with that. Thanks for the tips ladies!
Choosing a name that fits you and that you want have as your name is the way to go. It's wonderful seeking input from parents, family, and friends, but at the end of the day it comes down to you. I know my mom wasn't happy with the name I chose. She wanted me to keep it simple similar to my birth name. I didn't want any part of that concept especially after choosing the name the fit me best. The name that is legal now is the name I chose. Hugs
Mariah
For some reason I want to keep my same initials. So that drastically reduced the list of options. I played with a couple and when I settled on Kristina, it wasn't love at first sight or anything, but I really liked it and really wanted it to be me, and now it is, haha.
I'm sure you can get by with a Japanese name of some kind if you really wanted, but it'd probably have to be something simple and modern, like Miko. I knew a half-Japanese girl named Kirianna. We called her Kiri.
It tried to find names that weren't already in my family so not to overlap anything, which was really hard. It boiled down to picking between 2 names from people i had actaully known from school. I was torn between Jennifer and Sarah. I ended up going with Jennifer because I enjoyed the way it sounded and i was also no longer in contact with any Jennifers so it amde it a nit of an easier choice.
As for my middle name I let my parents choose that and the moment my dad told me Renee, it just fit perfectly. Its the name of my cousin who used to babysit my sister and I all the time when we were little and our parents were working.
I just used the female form of my name. I'm still me and I felt no compulsion to change it. Although I like Alexandria.
it's best you do not choose a japanese name, that's fetishization at it's finest.
here are some ideas :)
jade, janice, jacelyn, jacy/jacee, jazmine, jean, jo, jodie, jordyn, juana, judith, justine, julie...
I tried a few.
My old name is a common Irish last name that begins with R. (You can guess what it is).
All through my life I toyed with names - Alicia, Rihanna (haha not touching that one), Candace. Even Indian names - Sharmila, Sushilla.
Then when I got serious about transition it was time to choose.
Initially I chose Renee. The community here liked it. I liked it for a bit. I came out to my parents. Mom fully supports me. Dad stopped talking to me. I asked mom if before I was born, if there was a girl's name for me in case I was assigned female at birth. She said "Ria."
And that's what I ended up choosing. It's so remarkably simple and I wonder why I hadn't thought of it before.
My current legal middle name is my dad's first name. Since he has decided to go cold on me, I am removing that and replacing it with my mom's first name. Yes it's personal but truth be told I had to ask him when I was a kid, why my brother got his name as a middle name and I did not.
Anyway, Ria will be my legal name in a few weeks.
I know a lot of women (and men) don't have their parents support them through transition. That is truly sad. So if I didn't have parental support I have no idea what I would have stayed with.
Not sure if this is common, but I had to pick a name that I absolutely loved but was in complete disassociation with. In other words, I had to really like the name to start with, but knew no one in my life with that name. It was hard ???
Lisa? Reminds me of Lisa F; nope!
Rebecca? Boy, we had a blast together; nope!
Tori? Keep seeing that girls face from elementary school, omg; nope!
Kylee? Oh snap, that's my cousin's daughter; nope!
Natalie? That's Dave's old GF; nope!
...and the list just went on and on. I chose my name because I didn't feel like I was 'borrowing' the name from someone in my life, I've literally never known a Vanessa and there aren't too many famous Vanessas either, so... it was settled. Isn't that psycho?
Quote from: Ⓥ on July 27, 2015, 10:04:17 PM
Not sure if this is common, but I had to pick a name that I absolutely loved but was in complete disassociation with. In other words, I had to really like the name to start with, but knew no one in my life with that name. It was hard ???
Nope not psycho at all XD.. I am very similar in that sense as I don't want a name that feels borrowed. However, I want my name to be completely unique as well; so if I pick a common name I want to change the spelling with an easy spanish pronunciation. My favourite japanese girl names are Yuriko, Mikki, and Mariko (Marika is nice but in spanish it is a problem XD) :3 also yuri means lily and my moms name is lily. So I was so drawn to it but I didn't like how it didn't fit me.
Juan is such a common name I hated it so much and I didn't have a middle name.
My favorite Pokemon gym leader from back in the day was Sabrina mainly because psychics were my favorite type. I've loved the name ever since and decided to use it as my own.
I had a hard time picking my name. Growing up, I wanted to be Dawn, but by the time I grew up, there were 2 Dawns who married into the family, so that didn't seem right. I wanted a name no one in the family had. (Had the same attitude picking my daughter's name.)
I decided to stick with my initial, so I went through every C name there was. I liked Caitlin. Then I went into my 19 year repression phase. When I came back out, my cousin named her daughter Katelyn, so I felt like I couldn't use Caitlin. I took forever, but I settled on Charlotte. I'm still not 100% on it, but I'm happy with it. I talked to my cousin about it the name, telling her I considered Caitlin. Her response was awesome: "Ooh, I stole your name!"
I love the name Sabrina, although I was more of an Erika fan :3 grass pokemon were the cutest and still are ahaha.
Didn't Bruce Jenner change her name to Caitlyn or something like that?
I think someone else might have stole your name too >.<
The name i was given at birth was Hunter which can be both a male and female but I've never meet a female with that name and to me it just feels more like a guys name so i crossed that off, but i really like the how unique H is in a name, I also love my initials which spell HAY. so I made a list of all the female names that i could think of that start with H which weren't many, so during a night of drinking with my cousin and talking about it I settled on and really liked Hailey.
I used the female name my parents had chosen for me for my middle name. My first name was my online nick (not the one I'm using now I had to find a new online nick)
I really like my name but I get bombarded with questions of how my parents came up with it, though I also get a truckload of compliments on it.
So remember if you go with something uncommon or unique you will get questioned about it a lot.