With the advent of Cait, which is turning out to be quite positive and monumental do you think stealth with be at all relevant in the decade to come. It will always be an option for those to choose, but will it carry the necessity that some put on it.
Full stealth isn't possible now. To many people know me. Those that know my history even ask my opinion and questions about news or events that surround transgender people going on right now. Hugs
Mariah
I believe stealth is already a choice, and not a necessity.
I say this because yes, the momentum for trans acceptance is genuinely building. I often have days off makeup where I look like a curvy Conchita Wurst. Nobody gives a damn anymore.
Sure, I will be mis-gendered in that state, but that is the only complication. The only thing I need to concern myself with is how *I* feel - because really, in 2015 I can do or be whatever I want.
Stephanie,
Honestly, if society was accepting and if majority of straight men wouldn't have had the prejudice and discriminate transsexuals, I'd never had to stealth.
Quote from: Evolving Beauty on July 29, 2015, 04:13:33 PM
Stephanie,
Honestly, if society was accepting and if majority of straight men wouldn't have had the prejudice and discriminate transsexuals, I'd never had to stealth.
I am getting by just fine. Non-op and in a straight relationship with an incredible man, too ...
:police:
Okay folks I'm going to take this chance now to remind everyone to keep it civil. Thanks
Mariah
Stealth is always going to be important to some and strangely to me as well. I am in the process of dividing my life into two parts. One part I will continue to live but the other part like Batman or Superman I will put on the costume of stealth and spend time where my past isn't known and I am just CIS Dena. Should my past be discovered sometime in the future in that role, it will not be important because by then the stealth will have served it's purpose. The reason I need to do this is I never have had a life where transsexualism wasn't a part of my life. I am comfortable with that but I also think some of my personal skills in dealing with other people are lacking because of it. Yes, I will be very safe when I do this and if a personal relationship should develop, the feelings of the other person will take priority over stealth.
Somebody who is truly stealth may say what I am doing isn't stealth and they may very well be right, but in either case, people for personal reasons sometimes have a need for stealth in what ever form it takes.
I don't think complete stealth really exists, so the best you can hope for is to be very passable and hope most people in your life don't care to look into your past. i think we are a long ways from being to the point where the fact of someone being trans* is a just another fact about someone with no bearing on access to employment, housing, medical care, safety, and ones relationships with others.
Quote from: rachel89 on July 29, 2015, 04:43:41 PM
I don't think complete stealth really exists, so the best you can hope for is to be very passable and hope most people in your life don't care to look into your past.
I agree in the sense that 'passing' is mostly out of our hands.
That's because 'passing' is subjective. What passes for one observing person may not for another.
So I think it benefits us to step back from that a bit, and get on with daily life.
I think it is human nature to want to blend in, and not be "different", therefore, there will always be trans people who will choose to be stealth if they are able to.
Quote from: rachel89 on July 29, 2015, 04:43:41 PM
I don't think complete stealth really exists, so the best you can hope for is to be very passable and hope most people in your life don't care to look into your past. i think we are a long ways from being to the point where the fact of someone being trans* is a just another fact about someone with no bearing on access to employment, housing, medical care, safety, and ones relationships with others.
I disagree, stealth is totally achievable for younger trans people, and even for some older trans people (albeit a very small percentage).
Will stealth be the norm, or the ideal as it was in the past? No, probably not. As trans awareness and acceptance goes up, fewer people will see the need to discard their existing life. Combined with the gender wars (ie. the whole women-born-women thing), I think a greater number of people will be comfortable with a trans identity.
Will stealth disappear completely? No, probably not. There will always be people who want to cleanly separate their pre and post transition lives.
I think its going to be less possible in the future. Computers are causing us to lose privacy, and that's only going to continue. That's both though social media, which we can control (so far), and government records, which we can't.
Social media is working towards identifying people even when they don't opt-in, and that's really bad. Fortunately society is becoming more accepting, but also still not actually accepting, and it may also go the other way in the future. I don't see the trend to losing privacy reversing though.
Quote from: stephaniec on July 29, 2015, 03:54:50 PM
With the advent of Cait, which is turning out to be quite positive and monumental do you think stealth with be at all relevant in the decade to come. It will always be an option for those to choose, but will it carry the necessity that some put on it.
Well, I'm not in stealth, and it doesn't cause any issues here in my progressive college town. I'm pretty open, and I do what every other girl here does. I'd imagine it will be relatively commonplace in the future.
Quote from: Jasper93 on July 29, 2015, 06:11:39 PM
Well, I'm not in stealth, and it doesn't cause any issues here in my progressive college town. I'm pretty open, and I do what every other girl here does. I'd imagine it will be relatively commonplace in the future.
that's what's nice about college towns . I live in one and it's very open and peaceful . I was walking down the main street yesterday and a bunch of very dressed up coeds were walking toward me so I just held my breath and didn't flinch and not a snicker or an evil look came my way.
I think with the greater acceptance from society and slowly growing each day, I think that the need for stealth will disappear. The only difference will be from the few remaining violent people left who are slowly dying out.
Self stealth I don't know one way or another.
I live in a very supportive area. No one ever gives me a hard time about being trans and nearly everyone knows, due to the fact that I'm apparently not perfectly passable, I transitioned on the job, and I'm out to everyone at my church.
Despite all that, I yearn for stealth. I would love just to have the life of an ordinary cisgender female, to experience femaleness without the umbrella of my past casting a shadow over it.
Don't let the Caitlyn Jenner hype fool you. Openmindedness still ends at the bedroom door.
Quote from: kittenpower on July 29, 2015, 04:53:46 PM
I think it is human nature to want to blend in, and not be "different", therefore, there will always be trans people who will choose to be stealth if they are able to.
110000% this.
I'm not going to be a flag waver. I won't be deep stealth, but to some degree I already blend and will do so as much as I can. Like Blendtec. :) VFS is helping with this to a huge degree already and planned FFS and body contouring will help even more. Sure it costs money but it's about my happiness.
I just don't want being trans to dominate every conversation I have with everyone. It makes me feel like a science experiment or an animal in a zoo.
I'll tell committed sexual partners for sure, but the average Jane and Joe? No way Jose. Allies, maybe. Fellow trans women, more than likely. I believe that showing trans women (and men) it's OK to be who you are is important. I especially don't want people to commit suicide. So I will make an exception for them.
I live in a place where no one would be game to be openly gay let a lone trans. My local club had the second highest assaults in the entire state which is insane numbers considering the tiny size of the town. The day I don't pass is the day I get seriously hurt repeatedly.
I'm glad it's not like this in other places of the world.
If I had the choice to be openly trans would i? I'm not even sure how you be openly trans.
I think the question is more if passing will be relelvent rather than stealth. Social networking, background checks, transitioning later all make it brutal to try to achieve stealth where those that know you don't know you are trans.
Passing is another matter though. I want to be able to travel to barbaric lands such as Texas and not be worried. I wouldn't worry going to many cities in the US but, without passing it's hard to consider the country today. So what Cait is doing will, I think, make that stink less. Only time will tell on how much a difference it will make.
Stephanie, I am reading this topic with great interest and taking mental notes on everyone's perspective. I find it fascinating to hear what everyone thinks. I would add my two cents worth, but I'm enjoying the read too much.
Well, there's absolutely no denying just going about your daily life with no thought at all about trans popping into your thoughts or anyone's conversations. I don't know can your brain just totally stop thinking about it for extended periods like forever if no ones talks about it . I guess the more it's in the news it's basically impossible though.
Quote from: stephaniec on July 31, 2015, 05:21:57 PM
Well, there's absolutely no denying just going about your daily life with no thought at all about trans popping into your thoughts or anyone's conversations. I don't know can your brain just totally stop thinking about it for extended periods like forever if no ones talks about it . I guess the more it's in the news it's basically impossible though.
I do not know if this will sound weird but up until a few months ago, I rarely thought about it, if at all. When I started visiting here it made me get in touch with the nature of things. Now with the news and tabloids broadcasting what the Caitlyn is wearing or washing her hair with, it is putting right out there for the world to think about. I do take note of who her doctors are though, just in case I need the info.
I think it will remain a choice for some.It's just not practical a lot of the for me.I'm a woman with a trans history and really I dont want to be talking about that with new people all the time so I actually dont bring it up unless I'm asked directly(never) or it's very relevant.It is of course very different with people who knew me before but their period of curiosity passed long ago.At a conference a couple of years ago I bumped into a Dr. who I'd worked with pre transition and hadnt seen for about 14 years.I happily engaged him in conversation until I realised that he didnt know who I was.At that point I had the choice to just let him puzzle over who this woman he had worked with was or to out myself.On that occasion I chose the latter and we ended up having a very pleasant catch up.Next time with a different person I might choose differently.