So there is a therapist that specializes in transgender issues, but he is in a town that it was not easy for me to get to so once I got referred to him a few years ago and the counseling center shared the paperwork there was a large gap until I could actually get there.
Having semi-high hopes of meeting someone that actually specializes in the topic I went in today, and those hopes weren't really met.
First off he didn't know the reason I was there, and was asking about how to pronounce my birth name (I explained to him shortly that he should drop that topic since I have a chosen name) and the topic of pronouns wasn't even mentioned. He didn't look at my file beforehand, let alone at the work that the other counselor did over half a year that would have made our first meeting more productive.
Then it kind of proceeds as normal, but then he says something that was downright insulting. He calls my hairstyle definitely girly (it isn't really, it was cut short a few months ago and then I didn't have the funds to trim it since, so its just shaggy) and that I dress androgenously (pants and a tshirt, standard fare, did I need to wear a suit and tie or something?). I didnt wear my binder to the meeting, since people that helped me with a ride aren't really aware of whats going on, but in retrospect it made me wish I was (it does hurt even though its the right size and is gc2b).
It just kind of gave off a vibe that I wasn't 'trans-enough' from the way he phrased addressing a sensitive topic of being unable to pass pre-everything.
Needed to vent about it since I went back to work and am in tears. I did make another appointment with him since he is the only trained person in the area but man, thats harsh.
Have a *hug*
You might talk about your emotions... really telling if you'd like to be asked for pronouns...
or if you feel something makes you uncomfortable...
here are some online therapists for example... there are more...
https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php?topic=187135.0
Take a few deep breaths...
giving you a big hug...
Could you give the area where you are from ? Maybe someone knows a good therapist...
I'm sorry that you didn't get what you were expecting. Have you considered finding a therapist online? It will greatly increase your chances of finding the right person. My therapist lives a few hours south of me, and we talk on Skype.
I'm sorry that happened to you. He doesn't sound like much of a counsellor let alone a "specialist in transgender issues". If you are going back you might want to tell him what you just told us, that it was a hurtful session and why.
The thing is that there is also only one endocrinologist specializing in transgender issues that is in that state - North Dakota - and he said that he wont see me until I meet with this specific counselor, so he kind of dismissed all the counseling I already went through. And I asked if counseling could be done remotely, but they just moved offices so they somehow don't have the capability/willingness yet.
Its one thing to have a random stranger that has no idea about things to say something like that and another for a guy that supposedly did this all of his professional career.
And of course I will tell him, he kind of rushed me out of the door before I could form a thought about it and took another appointment.
Would this be a possibility ?
https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,2011.msg15253.html#msg15253
Yay!! I just spoke with this person and I am very excited... her recommendation seems to have been warranted (she's been active with the TG community for a long time and works with several endocrinologists, and she seemed very nice to talk to).
The counselor I talked to was her husband, they work together in the same field :/
Ok...
Mr. Dean M Beck MSW, LICSW
NuVation Health Services, P.C.
600 S 2nd St 201
Bismarck, North Dakota 58504
(701) 355-6926
Erin Thuner MSW, LCSW
Pospishil & Assoc., PLLC: A Center for Family Solutions
1425 21st Ave NW
Minot, North Dakota 58703
(701) 639-4381
Ashley Kasson MS, LAMFT
Ashley Kasson Therapy, PLLC
24 North Main St
Minot, North Dakota 58701
(701) 205-3403
Mrs. Amanda R Haire MS, LAMFT
118 N Broadway Suite 810
Fargo, North Dakota 58102
(701) 203-4960
There has to be more than one endo...
"she's been active with the TG community for a long time and works with several endocrinologists"
another option would be to look for an informed consent place in a nearby state... or with plannedparenthood...
hugs
>UPDATE<
I told the guy that he really insulted me with what he said, asked if he can look at my previous counceling history or needs that permission to be renewed and inquired why I cant even get partial bloodwork done just to see if I have naturally elevated testosterone or not, implicitly saying I dont want a prescription just yet.
He decided to terminate my next appointment and end care after just one meeting and never apologized.
I recommend people avoid the man named Kenneth Christianson in North Dakota. Don't give this guy any more business.
I'm so sorry to hear you went through that. People like him should have their licenses revoked.
<3
That's appalling.
I just Googled him, and he's a Ph.D. psychoanalyst, which explains a lot. Psychoanalysts tend to be a bloody arrogant bunch, and the ones with Ph.D.s rather than M.D.s can have chips on their shoulders about that, as well.
He's certified by the American Board of Professional Psychology. Write an account of everything you went through with this tur...key and send them a complaint. His behavior was about as unprofessional as it gets.
Here's their contact info:
American Board of Professional Psychology
600 Market Street, Suite 201
Chapel Hill, North Carolina 27516
(919) 537-8031 Fax: (919) 537-8034
email: office@abpp.org
http://www.abpp.org/i4a/pages/index.cfm?pageid=3285
Funnily enough, their website provides no information about how to file a complaint, and when I searched for "complaint" my browser crashed. :o