so 5 weeks to the day after I filed for my name change I finally heard back from them, with a letter that I had to read about 25 times to make sense of it, do they realize that using a paragraph to explain what they want me to do rather than a sentence would make it much clearer and not require I double cheack what each word means in a legal sense?
so finally got it back and now I need to get it published in a news paper, which is one part WTH why dose everyone who I don't know or interact with need to know, and It will be clear to everyone that I am trans after that, I might as well just wear a sign that says "I am trans please treat me like a subhuman thing that makes you uncomfortable". Another part of me things WTH who even reads a news paper anymore!
Other other hand says I am so glad they finally got back to me I was wondering after a month went by how long this will take, now hopefully things will get worked out by september which is looking like its going to be a 1000$ transision month, between laser, starting voice lessions, and name/gender marker change costs which is about what I make in a month, yay and I thought just being a girl was expensive. :-)
Most of the time they don't care which paper you run the add in. In Orange County California, there was one of those paper they would leave on your door step for free and it pretty much only contained legal notices. Nobody read the thing and it cost very little to print your legal notice in it.
In California, you no longer have to publish a notice in the paper if you are changing your name because of gender identity. More states will be making that change in the future I bet.
Sorry that you have to do that but find a paper that is cheap to run an ad in and no one reads and you will be ok.
Good luck and hugs girl!
Actually I don't have a choice, the paperwork told me which paper it had to be in, it's a local one which makes it hard to figure out who I need to talk to just to have it run. I could fight it, the massachusetts website says I can request a exception, but I will have to talk to a judge and hope the agree with me and don't harbour and transphobic feelings, or I can just publish the thing and wait till the end of the month to see how things turn out.
Well it's frustrating having to do this but I tend to assume that everyone who sees me knows I am trans anyways so it's not that bad telling everyone who reads a paper.
Sigh,
Serena
If you want to hear a funny one, my birth certificate has never been up dated and I may need to publish as well to update it. My male name was last active 33 year ago when I changed my records after surgery. Do you think anyone is going to care about anything my old male name did. The only thing this will do is associate my history with my new name. I sure hope our lawyer knows a judge that can bypass the process.
that sounds awful in my case its not like I have been useing my new name for very long, still under 2 months at this point likely only 3 when I get this done mabye 4 by time I have a new license. 33 years seems crazy. mabye you can get it published in the april 1st edition and play it as a joke :-P
Quote from: Valwen on August 03, 2015, 11:27:47 PM
Actually I don't have a choice, the paperwork told me which paper it had to be in, it's a local one which makes it hard to figure out who I need to talk to just to have it run. ....
NJ is the same way where the judge specifies which paper you have to publish in. You will need to contact the "Legal Notices" department of the paper. Usually the ask you to FAX them a copy of the notice the court has sent you. In NJ, your full address and phone number is on this notice, but the paper only puts you town name in and that's it. I specified that anyway when I sent it to them and didn't have any problems. In NJ you have to publish it a 2nd time after the judge approves the name change to announce that it has been changed. Then 30 days later the judgement becomes valid.
All this makes me so glad I'm in California. No publication requirement and a letter from my doctor indicating I was undergoing appropriate treatment and 6 weeks after filing I had my name and gender changed. Hopefully the rest of the country will follow our lead and make it eaiser for transgender individuals to transition.
I don't think this paper even has a legal notices department, it a very small paper and I think they even changed there name a while back. I hope they get back to me, the name change is so very important to me, I have been uncomfortable correcting people on my name and I think I will feel better about it once I can tell them that it was legally changed.
I really should not complain I live in Massachusetts, I go to Fenway Health I have gotten the support of so many people and I recently realized that coming out has made me closer to some people that I have ever been to anyone ever. (with one exception). But I still worry, I still beat myself up, I still cry with exaustion and terror at what is still to come, I also cry for lots of other reasons like thinking about crying, and talking about crying and it would be great if I could blame my emotional rollercoaster on the estrogen but a large part of that has always been a part of me.
Hopefully tomorrow I will have a answer from the paper and by friday I will have it posted and some time next week I will bring the paperwork back to the court and then wait, I hate waiting.
Serena
It maybe related to debts. If you owe someone money, then this is their chance follow-up on the debt or note the change of name so they can recover the debt
Another reason to move to Australia! $125 fill in the form with old and new name and hey presto. Done
Quote from: TheaP on August 04, 2015, 02:22:13 AM
It maybe related to debts. If you owe someone money, then this is their chance follow-up on the debt or note the change of name so they can recover the debt
The publication notice is to inform anyone who might have done business with you in the past and could for any reason need to know you are using a new name. It is intended to offer protection to others should somebody change their name in order to duck out on paying a debt but in our case it has the side effect of outing us even when we have made sure all our obligations have been met. It would be better if the courts just maintained a record of the name changes and if someone needed to find a person who changed their name, they could run a trace through the courts. As it is, this could become public record and available for a few dollars on any one of a number of people trace web sites.
it also seems to grant anyone who has an objection to the name change a chance to complain about and try and block it formally. So yay win for the Transaphobes.
Serena, Who still has not heard from the paper yet.
It's a well-intentioned requirement, for the reasons Dena describes. The purpose is to create an accessible public record of the change, though it's very much outdated since few people bother reading those sections.
There are, however, people who *do* read those things, and maintain databases of them. Some are relatively benign, using them for the intended purpose of helping to find people after name changes (since these are not intended to be used to disappear). Some are not: I have heard reports of anti-trans groups scouring these for cross-gender name changes and using these for doxxing/harrassment purposes. If you're somewhere that does publish a mailing address, I've seen it advised to take out a post office box for the purposes of that notification. (This may not work everywhere, as they may require your residential address, though.)
I am not so sure how many people actually saw it, its a local small town paper that publishes only on Friday, it took me 45 minutes of driving around stopping at various stores just to find a place that carried it, I am also not really concerned about anyone fighting it or arguing against it in court.
That said the waiting is killing me, I found my paper after the 45 minutes of driving and went straight to the court house, I was in and out in 10 minutes and now I have to wait to hear back from the judge, given people have till the 27th to show up and argue it I I know I wont hear anything else till September.
Ohh it also ended up costing me 169.07 :-( and from what I read its like 20$ per copy of the name change order and I will likely need 10 of them so this whole name change in Mass is likely to cost me about 550$ and take roughly 2-3 months not counting calling every place I have a official record and fighting with them to get my information changed.
all that said I am very glad I started this the week after I started full time, its a very visible sign to those few who think this is some sorta game that I am serious, also its much easier to tell people to stop calling me that if I can show them my license and tell them that they are in every legal way simply wrong.
Serena, who should not post at 4am as she rambles more and more the later it gets.
So I never get hard copy mail, most everything in my life is digital but today about 10 minutes after I got on the treadmill I got a letter which sorta ruined my chance to work out today, but I will forgive it because its the one I have been waiting for. the court sent it back and as of 9/1/15 I am legally Serena.
YAY/Snoopy happy dance/I need a cake to celebrate. Now I just need to get copies of it from the registry of vital records and send them to what feels like half the state, not exactly fun but still. YAY Stupid Labor day have to wait till tuesday to start doing that. :-)
Serena, No like legally and everything!!!
Now I just have to figure out how many certified copies I need for everyone.
Serena
Quote from: jeni on August 04, 2015, 01:00:14 PM
It's a well-intentioned requirement, for the reasons Dena describes. The purpose is to create an accessible public record of the change, though it's very much outdated since few people bother reading those sections.
There are, however, people who *do* read those things, and maintain databases of them. Some are relatively benign, using them for the intended purpose of helping to find people after name changes (since these are not intended to be used to disappear). Some are not: I have heard reports of anti-trans groups scouring these for cross-gender name changes and using these for doxxing/harrassment purposes. If you're somewhere that does publish a mailing address, I've seen it advised to take out a post office box for the purposes of that notification. (This may not work everywhere, as they may require your residential address, though.)
They do it primarily so you don't change your name to avoid creditors.
Even though the newspapers are outdated, the notices are online. The press associations keep it online, sadly.
Even though I'm not stealth I really did not want this published online. But it is what it is.
Quote from: Valwen on September 05, 2015, 03:05:54 PM
So I never get hard copy mail, most everything in my life is digital but today about 10 minutes after I got on the treadmill I got a letter which sorta ruined my chance to work out today, but I will forgive it because its the one I have been waiting for. the court sent it back and as of 9/1/15 I am legally Serena.
YAY/Snoopy happy dance/I need a cake to celebrate. Now I just need to get copies of it from the registry of vital records and send them to what feels like half the state, not exactly fun but still. YAY Stupid Labor day have to wait till tuesday to start doing that. :-)
Serena, No like legally and everything!!!
Congrats.
I need to appear in court (this Friday coming, in fact). They make you do that here.
And I also need to publish the final judgement in the paper. Joy.
ya in mass you sometimes have to see a judge if they feel like it or think its unusual/out of place. I thankfully don't need to publish the results I do need to go to the court and get copies for my banks, both jobs, insurance and car insurance, registry of motor vehicles, and the social security office.
I hear the social security office is a nightmare of waiting. I also need to go to the vital records office and get a few copies of my birth record for the registry and the social security people, plus one for my records the court kept the one I brought to them which till then my mother had in a draw sense I started school decades ago.
the one painful part is in mass all these copies are 20$ each so 3 birth and like 8-9 of the name change is another 240$ at least these are one time costs and if everything goes well this will be a sleepless but productive week.
Serena
Quote from: Valwen on September 06, 2015, 02:18:16 AM
ya in mass you sometimes have to see a judge if they feel like it or think its unusual/out of place. I thankfully don't need to publish the results I do need to go to the court and get copies for my banks, both jobs, insurance and car insurance, registry of motor vehicles, and the social security office.
I hear the social security office is a nightmare of waiting. I also need to go to the vital records office and get a few copies of my birth record for the registry and the social security people, plus one for my records the court kept the one I brought to them which till then my mother had in a draw sense I started school decades ago.
the one painful part is in mass all these copies are 20$ each so 3 birth and like 8-9 of the name change is another 240$ at least these are one time costs and if everything goes well this will be a sleepless but productive week.
Serena
Social Security took about 40 minutes for me and I had to go there twice because they spelled my new name wrong when I received my new card in the mail (even though it was correct when the agent showed it to me.) With the exception of Vital Records and the NJ State Treasury, all places (including DMV) made a copy of the one with the seal and gave me back the original right there. Except for my passport, they kept the one with the seal, but I got it back in the mail 3 weeks later.
One trick the clerk at the courthouse told me here in NJ was I could make my own copies of the one without the seal and they would put an official seal on each copy for $5 each instead of $15 to make a copy of the source.
Quote from: Sydney_NYC on September 06, 2015, 11:29:06 AM
One trick the clerk at the courthouse told me here in NJ was I could make my own copies of the one without the seal and they would put an official seal on each copy for $5 each instead of $15 to make a copy of the source.
I'm going to ask about this. I want a good few copies for various places. I need at least 20 copies.
Quote from: iKate on September 07, 2015, 11:44:30 AM
I'm going to ask about this. I want a good few copies for various places. I need at least 20 copies.
Make sure you keep the copy that isn't notarized by the court clerk on your court date. When you get seal for it from the court they notarize it with the seal. On my court date after the session they gave me a signed (by the judge) copy that was not notarized, another copy that was notarized by the judges secretary without the seal. (That copy you can use at banks, utility companies etc. Then a week later in the mail I received a copy with the seal on it. Some courts (depends on which county in NJ) you have to go back to the courthouse with the affidavit you get from the paper after your 2nd public notice in the paper to get the one with the seal. (I didn't have to and the clerk just told me to hang onto the affidavit just in case.)
The copy with the seal is what has to be used for DMV, Social Security, and Passport (which you do get back.) Other places just the notarized one is fine. Of course you can't use it until the effective date on the court order which is usually 30 days from the court appearance in NJ.
hmm my process in massachusetts was a bit different. First I went to the court house, stood around for too long gave them the paperwork and was told they would contact me by mail. 6 weeks later I got a letter from them telling me I had to publish that paper in a specific news paper and return proof of it to the court. I did so and brought them a copy the day it came out. Then I waited, the final date that people could argue the change was 8/27. I did not hear back from the court till the 5th when they sent me a letter in the letter was the same form I first filled out but with the judges section filled out with a date of 9/1 and the judges signature decreeing it my legal name. This one copy had the seal of the court and stamped by the register. I did not get a no sealed copy and there was no delay in the legality of the name change I never saw a judge only went to the court house twice to drop off the paperwork, and it was actually legal 4 days before I got the letter I Just did not know it yet.
I did use my printer to copy it once so I could keep one in my wallet to show to people. I am using the back of that copy to write down places I need to send a copy as well as phone numbers for contact info.
Serena
ok another update. after not being able to do anything due to the monday holiday I got up early today and went to the court house, well first I went to the bank I use to ask if they needed a certified copy to keep, they did not in fact we did all the paperwork as I sat there I should have a new debit card and checks in a week or two. Then I went to the court unfortunatlly they could not give me copies only the main branch can which is much further away than that one almost a hour drive compared to 15 minutes, and I needed to be to work so Like many things in my transision I took a chance and went to the social security office.
I went in sat there for 45 minutes and was about to call work and tell them I was going to be late when they called me up I walked up and asked them if they would be keeping the paperwork I gave them, they would not. a bit nervous told them I was here to change my name and gender, I handed the woman my letter from my doctor as well as the one from the judge and the forms from there site and my old license and stood there in silence as she typed at her computer as if my request was the most normal thing in the world. That part concerns me mabye she did not understand, ok she did point out I had not checked a gender on the forms so I checked female but still a part of me is just sure she has something against me. One part of my brain is telling that part of my brain to shut up everything went great stop making up problems that don't exist, we have enough real problems without adding fake ones. Then she handed me a paper and said I should get my new card in a week or two.
So I guess as of this afternoon as far as the social security office is concerned which pretty much means as far as the government is concerned I am legally Female....
I need my therapist to sign some forms tomorrow so I can go apply for a new license on Thursday and the real one should be like a week or two later so by this time next week I may have a new debit card, social security card and License that all read Serena/Female on them if I was not still a bit in shock at how easy it was I would be preforming a horribly uncoordinated dance perhaps similar to the one snoopy dose.
Serena, who just needs to get both her work places and insurance companies on board with the changes now.
Congrats Serena. Feels great doesn't.
One thing I did was to make a list of all the accounts and other things that needed a name and or gender change (ie schools for diplomas, utility companies, frequent flyer, memberships store loyalty programs etc) and then I made a file folder for each thing that needed changed and then researched what info they needed.
I bought 4 certified copies of my order and I still have 3 of them. The 4th went to my ex-wife who refused to accept a copy and has refused to reimburse me for the cost of the certified order.
All other company's, agencies, programs and schools either accepted a copy of the order or just needed to see the certified copy which was returned to me. Making your list and keeping a file with the requirements will go a long way on keeping everything organized.
It feels sorta amazing but I am afraid to feel to good that is exactly when bad things happen. This paranoia brought to you by a lifetime of bad things.....and the letter Q and the number 42.
ya I made a short list of places I needed to change, let me think.
Drivers licence
social security
My bank
other bank that I only have a 5$ account in because I had a loan there years ago and never closed it. (I may not bother with this one too much work for no real benefit)
Both my jobs
car insurance
health insurance
that is all that jumped to mind..ok there are some odd cases like my khols card I used once or my blizzard account but I doubt I will have to prove much to them and I will deal with them as they become important. I don't have a lot of store loyalty things and none of them really have a name connected to them. I am 34 and still living at home because I am pathedic and useless so no real bills besides my cell phone and car insurance... ok gotta add cell phone contract to the list.
I already changed a few of the gamer related things that don't restrict my name changes..I guess I could contact my school for diploma things but it dose not feel super important. I don't have a real degree in anything, just a highschool diploma and that is not something you hang on the wall, in fact I don't even know for sure where it got to. Plus I don't consider my transgender status something I care about trying hard to conceal. though that may be due to my assumption that everyone can tell anyways.
Fun fact the first thing I did was make a photocopy of the document to keep in my wallet, that is where I started my list writing on the back of it.
are there any other things I might be missing?
Serena, who is submiting a name change on her phone as we speak.
Serena-
You should send a certified copy of your court order to the three credit reporting companies so they can link your credit history with your new name. Where to send the documents requires some careful research because they have several mailing addresses.
I'm so sorry that you are having to go through this rigamarole. Similar to Jessie I live in California too and when I was considering when to file my name change I knew that a change in the law was coming. The change was that we didn't have to publish our name in the paper and the process was streamlined so I just waited a couple of months until the new law kicked in. After that it took 6 weeks and $435 for the court appearance and then it was a done deal.
The danger that is caused by the outing that happens when we are forced to publish our name in the paper is a huge problem for us IMO. Hopefully states will move toward the California model and will abandon this ridiculous requirement.
Quote from: Valwen on September 09, 2015, 04:08:05 AM
other bank that I only have a 5$ account in because I had a loan there years ago and never closed it. (I may not bother with this one too much work for no real benefit)
i'm a bit paranoid, but I'd be inclined to either change the name on that or, if there's no reason to keep it, close the account. I feel like keeping anything financial in an old name could wind up being used as evidence that you changed your name for some fraudulent reason.
(Not likely ever to come up, but I tend to worry about worst case scenarios a lot.)
I dont know if I want my general lack of a credit history liked to me :-P ok I will think of adding it to the list.
the name change was not that bad and publishing it was only a minor concern my address and phone number where not included it is not like anyone could track me down just by looking at it. plus when I say it was a small town paper I mean I don't actually no anyone who even gets that paper much less who saw the add. Ok that said it is stupid and expensive if the court is going to order you do something like that the least they could do is pick up the cost of it.
Also I could have fought the paper requirement if I wanted to set a court date to explain to a judge why I did not want to do it and why I felt it could be a danger, but I just wanted it done more arguing over it would not help.
I considered closing that one account, I had totally forgot I had it for months but my mother cosigned the loan and dose some banking at that bank when she saw she had another account she started putting money in it. I may just talk to her about getting my name taken off the account.
Serena
I sitting here at the registry of motor vehicles to get my license changed. Yay, I expect no problems with it but the wait is killing me, over a hour already. I was supposed to be at work 30 minutes ago and it's going to be a fair bit more before I am out of here. I actually wish I was at work which given how much I hate my job is a sure sign of madness. And here I was concerned my hair would not be dry for the picture. :-P
Serena