i always hated being trans i wish if i was born a normal guy as any other guy in the universe ,being trans distroyed my life i'm not alive i feel dead, i'm just hiding on my room from 25 year now no friends no real relations i can't even out from house in peace or talk in public cause of the fear of people know the truth i don't do nothing just hiding and watching time pass,i noticed that people 100% of poople think i'm a bio guy (people that don't know me) even if i talk or anything everyone never mistaken me or something , but all the time (in the past) when someone was using the right pronouns i was telling them the truth and that was so embarassing but i decided to stop from like 2 months now,my life changed a lot i have friends i have two guy friends that treat me like there little brother without knowing the truth and i have a gf too, i feel so happy i feel alive and really happy its the first time i feel like that in my whole life i feel free ... i moved to a new area and people know me as a boy they dont even know i'm acctually 25 cause i look so young i told them i'm 17 ,i'm so happy but i'm so scared they may know the truth or maybe meet someone when we out that know me and call me with my real name i have a big fear i talked to a trans friend in fb about it and he told e i better back to my old life and area and never meet those people again he told me i'm doing brandon teena mistake and its dangerous and all that just want to know ur opinion guys and thnx in advance.
does your girlfriend know you're trans? i mean, friends i get, sure. girlfriend is different though. none of my friends know i'm trans or my birth name (unless i grew up with them). i now have my name changed, surgeries, hormones, whatever but there's nothing wrong with being stealth. i used my preferred name even before i had my name change, a lot of us do. lying about your age though idk why you'd do that. given where you live, it might be a mistake and might be a set up for some bad stuff to go down so i'd be careful.
Well this is the thing about not telling people you're trans - even though you don't have to, if they find out then you will have to deal with any possible negative fall out. Maybe there won't be any, maybe there will... and it'll be different for each person, you won't know until you know.
I'm not sure what you're asking about stopping though?
IMO one of the more important parts of transition is building a support network. Whether they are your new or old family, you need people you can rely on who accept you. Doesn't mean you have to constantly audition people by testing their transphobia, but it does mean being real with the people that matter.
If they matter to you, then give them a chance to step up and get to know more of you. I'm not sure how you can manage the age discrepancy, but it's pretty easy to just come clean on it. I don't know, it just seems easier to be upfront for me, although I totally get the withdrawing from society part. But you don't have to be a fictional person to socialize either.
Hugs,
- Katie
Sent from Katie's iPad using Tapatalk
Hey man,
Glad to hear you are much happier even though you still have some fears. I will talk a bit from experience because I did the same thing. Moved far away from home where no one knew me and lived full time as a bio male to everyone. I was very very happy for more then a year and everything was fine. Then someone who knew me ( and is a very mean person) started telling people about my past and things started to go bad as the town I was in was very closed minded... I ended up leaving there to a brand new town.
I am not saying to stop. But I am saying to be cautious and be prepared if things ever go bad.
I transitioned in place and my family, friends, coworkers, clients, etc. all know about my past and the circumstances of my birth. It is significantly more difficult to teach people to use the right pronouns and name with you after 25 years of doing things one way. So I completely understand why you would want a fresh start where no one knows.
Honestly? I'd say you're fine. If the place you live now is relatively close to where you're from, I'd be cautious. Especially if where you are now is more of a destination that people travel to (a bigger city, place with cool landmarks, etc.), since you'd hypothetically be more likely to encounter people visiting from your old town. If your friends are on Facebook, maybe take a look through their friends list and see if you recognize any names of people who may know you.
But if it was a big move, I think you're fine. I'm of the belief that the only people who need to know are intimate partners and medical personnel who are directly involved in my treatment. So if your girlfriend doesn't know, I would find a way to tell her. It's infinitely more complicated to do after you've started dating someone though.