Susan's Place Transgender Resources

Community Conversation => Transgender talk => Topic started by: Cindy on August 07, 2015, 04:38:03 AM

Title: The price we pay. A reflection from a happy woman with a turmoil of a past.
Post by: Cindy on August 07, 2015, 04:38:03 AM
It is my 33rd Wedding Anniversary today

I remember the fear and joy

My bride walking to me at Decca's, a restaurant we had chosen for our friends to celebrate our happiness

I remember the dread of my commitment; I would be her husband and I could never be her wife

I chose that, to be normal, to be a man, to stop the horror and be a guy

I remember our Honeymoon and asking to wear her dress; the acceptance when she said yes

And the Horror returning as the zip was closed.

I recall our life, her continual acceptance - but to a point, and my shame

My everlasting shame

I recall our holidays, two girls painting the town, shop till we drop, and my sadness of never being me

The night she tripped and fell, her skull split on a step, my fear of losing her, my decision not to turn off life support - because I didn't want to lose her

I recall living in ICU; brain rehab units, victories and defeats, tears and prayers

Tears and prayers to non-existing Gods and promises that I would be a man - if she could live

It is our 33rd Wedding Anniversary today

I sent her flowers to the nursing home where she now lives

Signed Cindy - your wife.

It is my 33rd Wedding Anniversary today

The price has been too great.



Title: Re: The price we pay. A reflection from a happy woman with a turmoil of a past.
Post by: ToniB on August 07, 2015, 05:20:30 AM
Your love and commitment is a huge tribute to You. But Your inner strength and fortitude have allowed You to Be the Person You needed to Be both for Yourself and for Your Wife . That is a wonderful testament to You I Admire You and hope I can be as true if anything happens to My Wife . Happy anniversary and Have the best in life that You can achieve

Hugs Toni XXX
Title: Re: The price we pay. A reflection from a happy woman with a turmoil of a past.
Post by: KatelynBG on August 07, 2015, 05:26:10 AM
Wow. That was beautiful. ::hugs::
Title: Re: The price we pay. A reflection from a happy woman with a turmoil of a past.
Post by: Mariah on August 07, 2015, 05:27:56 AM
Congrats on 33 years. As Toni Said, the love and commitment you have is tribute to your inner strength and will power to survive through any challenge put in front of you. Happy Anniversary and hears to many more. Hugs
Mariah
Title: The price we pay. A reflection from a happy woman with a turmoil of a past.
Post by: Summer on August 07, 2015, 05:35:26 AM
Happy 33rd Anniversary so much love ,strength and commitment . Here's to many more xxoo


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Title: Re: The price we pay. A reflection from a happy woman with a turmoil of a past.
Post by: big kim on August 07, 2015, 05:40:32 AM
Quote from: Summer on August 07, 2015, 05:35:26 AM
Happy 33rd Anniversary so much love ,strength and commitment . Here's to many more xxoo


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+1
Title: Re: The price we pay. A reflection from a happy woman with a turmoil of a past.
Post by: Sandy on August 07, 2015, 06:09:47 AM
Hugs
Title: Re: The price we pay. A reflection from a happy woman with a turmoil of a past.
Post by: stephaniec on August 07, 2015, 06:17:56 AM
congrats, you made a special choice.
Title: Re: The price we pay. A reflection from a happy woman with a turmoil of a past.
Post by: Ms Grace on August 07, 2015, 06:43:00 AM
Hugs Cindy.bthe love and dedication you have for your wife has been a cornerstone of your presence here. Congratulations on 33 years.

I hadn't realised your wife's injuries had been caused in a fall. A cousin of mine likewise received a very severe head injury when, we believe, he got dizzy and fell and hit his head on a metal pole. It does highlight how fragile we are and how precious our lives are.
Title: Re: The price we pay. A reflection from a happy woman with a turmoil of a past.
Post by: Devlyn on August 07, 2015, 06:58:22 AM
Big hug to both of you. Two women forged from steel.

Hugs, Devlyn
Title: Re: The price we pay. A reflection from a happy woman with a turmoil of a past.
Post by: Lady Smith on August 07, 2015, 07:08:41 AM
Congratulations and HUGS Cindy.  You truly are an inspiration to us all.
Title: Re: The price we pay. A reflection from a happy woman with a turmoil of a past.
Post by: ChiGirl on August 07, 2015, 10:10:31 AM
Happy Anniversary, Cindy.  That was quite beautiful.  Today is my 16th wedding anniversary, as well.  Hugs!

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Title: Re: The price we pay. A reflection from a happy woman with a turmoil of a past.
Post by: Ciara on August 07, 2015, 11:38:19 AM
Thank you for sharing this Cindy.
Big HUG.
Ciara.
Title: Re: The price we pay. A reflection from a happy woman with a turmoil of a past.
Post by: Rejennyrated on August 07, 2015, 11:58:59 AM
Congratulations, and well done. You have stayed the course. I only wish the last few years could have been kinder to you both.

Jenny
(who is hopefully just embarking on my second 30 year stretch)
Title: Re: The price we pay. A reflection from a happy woman with a turmoil of a past.
Post by: MugwortPsychonaut on August 07, 2015, 12:19:28 PM
Oh man, what a heart-wrenching story! Your strength is amazing, Cindy. <3
Title: Re: The price we pay. A reflection from a happy woman with a turmoil of a past.
Post by: EmilyRyan on August 07, 2015, 06:41:10 PM
Happy Anniversary hope all is good  :)

Cheers from Emily 
Title: Re: The price we pay. A reflection from a happy woman with a turmoil of a past.
Post by: Bellah on August 11, 2015, 10:15:58 AM
Cindy, so touching. I hope and pray for you and your wife. Your story is a testament of true love and hope.  Thanks for sharing.


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Title: Re: The price we pay. A reflection from a happy woman with a turmoil of a past.
Post by: Jacqueline on August 11, 2015, 02:48:20 PM
Cindy,

I am glad you have found happiness.

There are so many prices and ways to pay them. It often seems too hard.

You are an inspiration.

Please accept my warmth and wishes for love

Joanna
Title: Re: The price we pay. A reflection from a happy woman with a turmoil of a past.
Post by: Rachel on August 11, 2015, 07:47:25 PM
Hugs, I am sorry for the pain the both of you experienced and happy for love you share.

Title: Re: The price we pay. A reflection from a happy woman with a turmoil of a past.
Post by: JoanneB on August 11, 2015, 10:01:25 PM
Thank you sharing that Cindy. My eyes are only now clear enough to type. Your words and feelings really hit a chord with me. So much mirroring my own life, even today as I sit here watching my wife waste away, slowly dying, as she struggles with her depression to live another day as we fight together to get the medical help she needs.
Title: Re: The price we pay. A reflection from a happy woman with a turmoil of a past.
Post by: Cindy on August 11, 2015, 11:38:59 PM
Quote from: JoanneB on August 11, 2015, 10:01:25 PM
Thank you sharing that Cindy. My eyes are only now clear enough to type. Your words and feelings really hit a chord with me. So much mirroring my own life, even today as I sit here watching my wife waste away, slowly dying, as she struggles with her depression to live another day as we fight together to get the medical help she needs.

Hugs my sister. My spirit is with you.
Cindy