my mom is really cool about everything but school is in less than a week and it keeps seeming more impossible. i have a huge unhideable chest and still no binder and i dont pass at all and how do i communicate everything to the school? do i tell the principal and see if they can change my name in the records or whatever or do i tell each teacher individually and hope they understand or is it possible they wouldn't allow that? And people will know im not cis bc like i said i dont pass so everyone will think im mentally ill or want attention or something? idk im just getting scared bc im really not sure how any of this works. can someone explain what to do?
As far as teachers go, I sent an group e-mail to my teachers, and cc'd my class counselor and vice principal. That way, I had my bases covered, all the staff knew, and the admins would know ahead of time to look out for any discrimination from teachers toward me (which was never the case, but it was a good safeguard). They probably won't be able to change your name or gender, since they'll want your legal name and gender in their systems, but if you tell your teachers your preferred name and stick with correcting them, it won't be so bad (unless there's a substitute, but what can you do?). As teachers started calling me Andrew, even kids I didn't go "hi I'm trans" to seemed to pick up on it and just rolled with it accordingly. I don't know where you're located, but I doubt everyone would think you're ill.
Also, have you asked your mom about maybe footing the bill on a binder and letting you pay her back when you have the funds? You might be able to speed ship an Underworks one in time.
One way to effectively get your chosen name out there would be to talk to your counselor, ask them to send an email to the school faculty explaining the name, pronoun, anything change. I do believe that teachers are required by law to call you by what you request, so if they don't, I believe you can get them in trouble for it. :icon_blink:
Other than that, dealing with students, I would think you can maybe 'come out' to your classmates, the counselor at my school once suggested asking the teacher for a moment at the head of the class to explain yourself, if you're comfortable being the center of attention (I, personally, am not.).
Either way, good luck, from another highschooler dealing with school and being trans. :icon_cute:
Quote from: perrystephens on August 19, 2015, 08:43:35 PM
my mom is really cool about everything but school is in less than a week and it keeps seeming more impossible. i have a huge unhideable chest and still no binder and i dont pass at all and how do i communicate everything to the school? do i tell the principal and see if they can change my name in the records or whatever or do i tell each teacher individually and hope they understand or is it possible they wouldn't allow that? And people will know im not cis bc like i said i dont pass so everyone will think im mentally ill or want attention or something? idk im just getting scared bc im really not sure how any of this works. can someone explain what to do?
If you live in the US, you have the right to be referred to in school as your identified gender. Passability has nothing to do with it.
Do you have a counselor? If so, I would start by going with your parents to the counselor and telling them you are transitioning. It is their job to make sure your transition is successful. It is their job to protect you from being bullied (though I hope that wouldn't happen), to make sure your teachers respect your identified gender, and to give you the same quality education that you would have received had you not come out.
If you don't have a counselor, then your principal would be the place to start.
I expect it will go smoothly. If not, it is important to assert your rights (you have the right to an education, you have the right to be safe in school, and you have a right to have your identified gender respected).
Please let us know how it goes. Feel free to PM me if there's some way I can help. I work in a high school.