I'm on OkCupid but hardly ever get any messages or replies from anyone. Like nobody will even give me a chance and it's so frustrating. :-X and it's the only way I can meet people. That, and Meetme. I don't normally have people I can go places with so meeting people in public is out of the question.
Now that I can actually be myself and function in a relationship, I can't even get a chance to. LIke I really want to be in a relationship with a girl, as a girl. It's just the perfect relationship for me.
I'm not entitled or anything, I'm not being all like, I DESERVE A GIRLFRIEND :laugh:
But I deserve one real chance, like everyone else gets.
Like, do I still look that bad or something.? I know my jaw is still pretty bad and even growing my hair longer won't help that much, and it'll be years before I can have my jaw fixed.
Is there something wrong with my profile.?
My username on OKC is PsychedelicSage
I can't really seem to look at your profile without making an account. :-\ My wife wouldn't like that.
But there is a major problem with those dating sites. People are always trying to find their perfect match on those kind of sites. Like they want the whole package. Nice job, very attractive, great personality, and other ridiculously high standards. And one bad line can turn you a person off from your profile. Like I tried a dating site once before and said that gender roles were important to me, but I meant I like cooking, clean, and wouldn't mind being a stay at homer. After I realized the problem. I got more responses after I changed that.
The way that worked best for me, is I messaged like 40 girls in one day. Most will reject you, some will ignore you, and a few will reply. But only the people that reply really matter. I made sure to talk about myself a little and asking questions. Like, "I'm into all kinds of music, mostly rock and punk. What do you like to listen to?" No questions, usually meant no replies. But if you can get them talking enough, you got a chance.
It takes a lot of work, but you're attractive enough. My Dad met his girlfriend though a dating site. They are completely boring together, but a really good couple. All they do is sit outside and watch the corn fields. Like seriously. You just gotta ninja your way through all the baddies.
Dx that's stupid.. this isn't the dark ages. I can't believe people are still so shallow. Personally I couldn't care less how much someone I'm interested in makes.. as long as they have some sort of job. Actually if I make enough money to support us both I don't care if they have a job at all, and vis versa.
Ahhh okay. This whole time in almost all my messages I was just putting a greeting. xD that might be the problem.
Thankss!
I've found OKC only works for me when I send messages to other women. I've met quite a few people that way, but none who messaged me first.
I googled tips on how to make a good dating profile a while back. Afterwards it took some time, but my current girlfriend actually messaged me and we hit it off really well while chatting. I asked her out to coffee and we've been dating ever since. She still isn't really comfortable with my birth defect, but says I'm so much of a girl she forgets I have it usually.
The biggest changes that I made to my profile was making everything shorter. Instead of my whole life story I changed it to show just a little bit and tried to make people want to know more. It was also recommended to keep each section less then 250 characters. I can reactivate my account on OKC for a bit if you want to look at it, KittyKatTG.
After checking your page, your first paragraph, to me is very unattractive. I wouldn't have read farther based on it usually. It has so many lines and spaces and doesn't say much about you. What I felt after reading it if I was viewing you as someone I might date is you may spend a lot of time focuses on yourself. I felt this way because within 5 seconds of getting to know you you're telling me what to do. I've had abusive relationships in the past and that scares me in potential partners. I would avoid telling people what to do in your profile, you can always handle name pronunciation over the phone or in person. Otherwise your other sections didn't set off that many flags, but like I said if I was looking to date I would have stopped reading at the first. Sorry if I was harsh but wanted to be honest so you know what some girls might be thinking.
Lots of good advice...
PsychedelicSage
I'd change the username on okc to something a bit more exuding trustworthyness...
You might realize that lesbians are also looking... because they have fewer people looking for a partnership than straight people... especially femme lesbians can be sought after...
Imo its a good idea to contact others. And always making individual mails... like having a look at their profile, and writing something individual...
"I saw the cute earring you wear in your picture... where is it possible to get such nice ones ? "
"I saw you like... were you also at the concert in... ? "
etc.
You could have a look at oher peoples profiles and integrate similar things you like in yours... making a nice variation of theirs...
maybe you can even use an idea and make it better...
and there are tutorials, also on lesbian profiles...
hugs
I would drop the "casual sex" from the part "what You are looking for". I would also drop all swearing words and try to improve the grammar, because altogether it sends very mixed vibe. Martial arts as a priority in what You are good at - maybe it should not come up first...?
I'm a straight man, so I can't see you.
But as a lesbian in my past life :D I will say that I had very good success if I used the Quick Match option a lot, messaged people while they were online, and used really specific search terms (like "Queer"). In general, it seems like people who send the initial message seem to have better luck than those who sit back and wait for messages to come in.
I've no idea what I am doing :laugh: So I'm of no use. I did try but no one ever message back :( Keep trying and I'm sure there is some one for every one ;)
Paula, <3 X.
Quote from: paula lesley on August 20, 2015, 12:37:33 PM
I've no idea what I am doing :laugh: So I'm of no use. I did try but no one ever message back :( Keep trying and I'm sure there is some one for every one ;)
Paula, <3 X.
Well with the internet its a numbers game sometimes.
So it might be necessary to write quite a few messages, and see how people respond.
Often people are glad if they are messaged and someone else is doing the first step.
hugs
Ughhh I'm so awful at this lol.
I'll try all that.
But I'm not creative when it comes to usernames to be honest.. the two usernames I always use are PsychedelicSage or SageSinister.
Drop ALL swears.? But that seems a little bit boring haha.. I'm not a boring person. And I swear a lot in real life. Other girls have more swears than I do in their profiles and their inboxes are like full.
Wellll to be honest I'm not good at many things xD I couldn't think of anything else.
Thanks. I didn't know my profile was that bad lol.. I'll try to fix it.