Susan's Place Transgender Resources

Community Conversation => Transsexual talk => Male to female transsexual talk (MTF) => Topic started by: stephaniec on August 25, 2015, 12:41:08 AM

Title: how do you feel about guys you don't know and have never seen buying things
Post by: stephaniec on August 25, 2015, 12:41:08 AM
I don't quite know what to think. I was standing in line at a coffee place I go to everyday, its a student hang out and this younger man in front of me  was buying his coffee and bagel and told the cashier that he was going to buy me my orange I was waiting to buy. He referred to me as her. It was curious , I never saw him before , but he  looked like a student . They have one of the top MBA programs at the University so there are guys in their late twenties hanging out. He wasn't bad looking , but I'm pretty old. I didn't mind though , I guess that's female privilege .
Title: Re: how do you feel about guys you don't know and have never seen buying things
Post by: LizK on August 25, 2015, 12:44:16 AM
maybe he thought he was just doing something nice for a lovely lady...
Title: Re: how do you feel about guys you don't know and have never seen buying things
Post by: stephaniec on August 25, 2015, 12:47:34 AM
that would be nice. I thanked him and I thought he had left , but when I left I saw he was sitting outside and I was going to say thanks again , but I got kind of embarrassed and rushed by.
Title: Re: how do you feel about guys you don't know and have never seen buying things
Post by: KatelynBG on August 25, 2015, 05:24:25 AM
Some people like to "pay it forward"
Title: Re: how do you feel about guys you don't know and have never seen buying things
Post by: Jacqueline on August 25, 2015, 08:24:52 AM
I second the idea of paying it forward(that is not saying he did not find you a lovely lady). I am surrounded by people that do things that strike me as selfish and inconsiderate. However, I think inside most are good at heart and are just not thinking(Oh, shoot. Now I sound like Anne Frank. Inspiration but not me).

A little off topic, would it have been different if it were someone who looked the same age and female? How about a different age?

I am not saying there is not a good deal of hate and prejudice in the world. We see examples everyday and everywhere. However, I believe that is a habit or something that is not fully understood. I think most people with prejudice do not understand some aspect and have fear of whatever they set apart from themselves.

Stephanie, thanks for sharing this. There are so many stories of darkness and hate. It is encouraging to see some positive light.

With warmth,

Joanna
Title: Re: how do you feel about guys you don't know and have never seen buying things
Post by: stephaniec on August 25, 2015, 08:27:36 AM
darn, I thought he was mistaking me for Greta Garbo.
Title: Re: how do you feel about guys you don't know and have never seen buying things
Post by: stephaniec on August 25, 2015, 08:40:48 AM
I don't know a couple of weeks ago I was drinking coffee at an out door café and some guy wanted to give me a hamburger.
Title: Re: how do you feel about guys you don't know and have never seen buying things
Post by: Jacqueline on August 25, 2015, 09:33:53 AM
Maybe I was mistaken.

New advice: Thank them and say, "Boys, just call me Greta."
;)

Joanna
Title: Re: how do you feel about guys you don't know and have never seen buying things
Post by: LizK on August 25, 2015, 09:46:32 AM
You go Greta...
Title: Re: how do you feel about guys you don't know and have never seen buying things
Post by: stephaniec on August 25, 2015, 09:59:36 AM
thanks I feel better
Title: Re: how do you feel about guys you don't know and have never seen buying things
Post by: herekitten on August 25, 2015, 12:26:45 PM
"Practice random acts of kindness and senseless acts of beauty"

It's a thoughtful thing to do if you are able to it.  Pay it forward when you can. Karma has a nice way of coming around  :)
Title: Re: how do you feel about guys you don't know and have never seen buying things
Post by: iKate on August 25, 2015, 12:39:55 PM
This happens to me more often now. Could be female privilege, could just be nice people.
Title: Re: how do you feel about guys you don't know and have never seen buying things
Post by: Blackierobinson on August 25, 2015, 03:46:27 PM
Free stuff!
Title: Re: how do you feel about guys you don't know and have never seen buying things
Post by: FriendsCallMeChris on August 25, 2015, 05:53:31 PM
It's a common practice where I'm from
Someone buys the persons coffee, etc behind them in line or sometimes in drive thru line, too. I think it was a Starbucks, pass it on, kind of campaign a while back that became a nice occasional tradition.
Title: Re: how do you feel about guys you don't know and have never seen buying things
Post by: Stella Sophia on August 26, 2015, 01:55:39 AM
Hehe sounds like we've got a cougar in the room!!  >:-)
Title: Re: how do you feel about guys you don't know and have never seen buying things
Post by: stephaniec on August 26, 2015, 03:39:07 AM
Quote from: Stella Sophia on August 26, 2015, 01:55:39 AM
Hehe sounds like we've got a cougar in the room!!  >:-)
Title: Re: how do you feel about guys you don't know and have never seen buying things
Post by: HoneyStrums on August 26, 2015, 09:20:53 AM
Social interations, can be very wierd.

The same thing can happen, for multiple diferent reasons.

One time, I was standing In line at greggs and The guy in front said he would get me suasuage rolls for me. But the lady suddenly looked offended, saying, She's more then caperble of buying her own suasage rolls.

But situations, very similer to this keep poping up,
But have extream differences.

The offer to pay has been done in charity, the change the person in front would of recieved was equal to what I was getting, and it was akin to keep the change.

The offer to pay has been made as a percieved favour to the cashier, the person in front was transphobic and assumed it would be a favour to save the chashier from having to deal with me.

And The offer to pay has been made as a flirt, easey to tell with the wording, And Ill get what ever this young lady wants too, with a big smile passed back to me, and offering me to stand with them at the counter. Ofcourse, I say, arnt you supposed to offer to buy me lunch after you find out if im single or not :P.

But I think that if you spend time trying to guess why sombody does somthing, you wont get any closer no matter how educated your guess. Its best just to accept and/or decline as you wish, and let the answers come to you, if any. And not spend tie looking for them :p

Live life, dont question it :)
Title: Re: how do you feel about guys you don't know and have never seen buying things
Post by: stephaniec on August 26, 2015, 11:02:09 AM
actually I'm more interested in dinner and a movie
Title: Re: how do you feel about guys you don't know and have never seen buying things
Post by: LordKAT on August 28, 2015, 08:20:51 AM
Hmm, I didn't know this could be taken so many ways. I have often offered to pay for a coffee or some small purchase for others. Often, but not always, in hopes of having a conversation.
Title: Re: how do you feel about guys you don't know and have never seen buying things
Post by: stephaniec on August 28, 2015, 03:32:36 PM
Quote from: LordKAT on August 28, 2015, 08:20:51 AM
Hmm, I didn't know this could be taken so many ways. I have often offered to pay for a coffee or some small purchase for others. Often, but not always, in hopes of having a conversation.
I've always wanted to talk to a snow lion.
Title: Re: how do you feel about guys you don't know and have never seen buying things
Post by: Ms Grace on August 28, 2015, 04:23:50 PM
I've been offered seats by men and also to go ahead of then in lines etc (probably so they can check out my butt!) but no food. I'll have to join more queues!
Title: Re: how do you feel about guys you don't know and have never seen buying things
Post by: stephaniec on August 28, 2015, 04:46:38 PM
I should perform an experiment. There is this movie theater a few blocks from my apartment. There is a vey nice restaurant on the first floor. There is a very nice bar next to the theater on the second floor that I go to once in a while. Its got wifi. I need to put on one of my best dresses and go to the bar on a Friday or Saturday night and sit at the bar with my computer and see if I can get a drink and or a dinner and or a movie or all three. Then in case a incredibly handsome guy or incredibly beautiful woman ( also both incredibly wealthy) wants to spend some quality time with me there is a hotel right across the street from the building that has the theater and bar. I can then scientifically determine if its the forward thing  and just being nice or my feminine appeal.
Title: Re: how do you feel about guys you don't know and have never seen buying things
Post by: cindianna_jones on August 28, 2015, 04:51:54 PM
Quote from: stephaniec on August 25, 2015, 12:41:08 AM
I don't quite know what to think. I was standing in line at a coffee place I go to everyday, its a student hang out and this younger man in front of me  was buying his coffee and bagel and told the cashier that he was going to buy me my orange I was waiting to buy. He referred to me as her. It was curious , I never saw him before , but he  looked like a student . They have one of the top MBA programs at the University so there are guys in their late twenties hanging out. He wasn't bad looking , but I'm pretty old. I didn't mind though , I guess that's female privilege .

Hey, if you've got it, flaunt it baby!

Cindi
Title: Re: how do you feel about guys you don't know and have never seen buying things
Post by: stephaniec on August 28, 2015, 04:55:44 PM
good attitude
Title: Re: how do you feel about guys you don't know and have never seen buying things
Post by: Stella Sophia on August 30, 2015, 02:01:15 AM
Quote from: stephaniec on August 28, 2015, 04:46:38 PM
I should perform an experiment. There is this movie theater a few blocks from my apartment. There is a vey nice restaurant on the first floor. There is a very nice bar next to the theater on the second floor that I go to once in a while. Its got wifi. I need to put on one of my best dresses and go to the bar on a Friday or Saturday night and sit at the bar with my computer and see if I can get a drink and or a dinner and or a movie or all three. Then in case a incredibly handsome guy or incredibly beautiful woman ( also both incredibly wealthy) wants to spend some quality time with me there is a hotel right across the street from the building that has the theater and bar. I can then scientifically determine if its the forward thing  and just being nice or my feminine appeal.

Hahaha youre my new mentor!!!!  ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: how do you feel about guys you don't know and have never seen buying things
Post by: LizK on August 30, 2015, 02:53:12 AM
Quote from: stephaniec on August 28, 2015, 04:46:38 PM
I should perform an experiment. There is this movie theater a few blocks from my apartment. There is a vey nice restaurant on the first floor. There is a very nice bar next to the theater on the second floor that I go to once in a while. Its got wifi. I need to put on one of my best dresses and go to the bar on a Friday or Saturday night and sit at the bar with my computer and see if I can get a drink and or a dinner and or a movie or all three. Then in case a incredibly handsome guy or incredibly beautiful woman ( also both incredibly wealthy) wants to spend some quality time with me there is a hotel right across the street from the building that has the theater and bar. I can then scientifically determine if its the forward thing  and just being nice or my feminine appeal.

and in keeping with the scientific theme you may need to repeat this experiment several times to verify the results...would be proper thing to do...scientifically... I would have thought.  ;)