Susan's Place Transgender Resources

Community Conversation => Transsexual talk => Male to female transsexual talk (MTF) => Topic started by: stephaniec on August 26, 2015, 11:16:39 AM

Title: What would be the best response you ever got telling someone your trans
Post by: stephaniec on August 26, 2015, 11:16:39 AM
The best response that I ever got was from my therapist who said  ."that's wonderful " might be some what bias coming from a therapist though.
Title: Re: What would be the best response you ever got telling someone your trans
Post by: Sapphire87 on August 26, 2015, 11:20:27 AM
the best for me would probably be the most recent one I had with an old coworker. She thought I was my sister at first and thought i had grown a few inches since last time i saw her. Once I realized she thought I was my sister and told her who I used to be she actually stumbled backwards arms flailed and everything!  ;D
Title: Re: What would be the best response you ever got telling someone your trans
Post by: Oriah on August 26, 2015, 11:27:04 AM
My favorite response was a friend I made in California.  When I told her I was transgender she said "Cool.  You want to become a man?"

Maybe that belongs in "you know you pass when..."
Title: Re: What would be the best response you ever got telling someone your trans
Post by: paula lesley on August 26, 2015, 11:28:02 AM
Shut up and kiss me  ;)
Title: Re: What would be the best response you ever got telling someone your trans
Post by: HoneyStrums on August 26, 2015, 11:31:56 AM
No your not, your victoria
Title: Re: What would be the best response you ever got telling someone your trans
Post by: emyrinth on August 26, 2015, 11:36:40 AM
My first girlfriend from middle-school and I never officially broke up. I just moved away at the end of middle-school to a new area (she knew I was moving, we said goodbye) anyway she is married and has kids and her response was "well I guess I have a girlfriend now instead of a boyfriend  ;D  Most of my girl friends have been pretty supportive of me so far.
Title: Re: What would be the best response you ever got telling someone your trans
Post by: iKate on August 26, 2015, 11:57:34 AM
Quote from: Oriah on August 26, 2015, 11:27:04 AM
My favorite response was a friend I made in California.  When I told her I was transgender she said "Cool.  You want to become a man?"

Maybe that belongs in "you know you pass when..."

Haha I had a similar reaction when I first went for laser.

We were talking about pain. One of the students said, "yeah, take it like a man!"

I said, "I'm not a man. I'm transgender."

And she said, "oh so you're a woman who wants to become a man."

I left it there.
Title: Re: What would be the best response you ever got telling someone your trans
Post by: Lizandri Roth on August 26, 2015, 12:16:14 PM
I have two amazing responses.  The first was with my best friend.  We were friends since 2002 and I came out to him (over Skype because then he lived in a different town) in 2013.  He was very excited for me and asked a lot of questions and said that I'm officially the most interesting thing in his life.  Just this weekend he was the first person to see me as me and we had a little photo shoot in the bush.  The second was when I came out to my cousin this year.  He was very supportive and when I showed him a picture of me in the female form he said "I would definitely do you".  This was a compliment for me because all of the girls he dated was very hot!  Then I had to send him the picture because he wanted to show me to his co-workers.
Title: Re: What would be the best response you ever got telling someone your trans
Post by: RoseH on August 26, 2015, 12:26:34 PM
'Oh, so you want to be a boy?' - a few times
'We know' - my grandparents
Title: Re: What would be the best response you ever got telling someone your trans
Post by: OCAnne on August 26, 2015, 12:55:06 PM
'What would be the best response you ever got telling someone your trans' I am too.
Title: Re: What would be the best response you ever got telling someone your trans
Post by: Jill F on August 26, 2015, 01:05:56 PM
"You're full of sh*t."
"No way!"
"Congratulations?"
"Wouldn't have guessed."
"I can usually spot them a mile away." *facepalm*
Title: Re: What would be the best response you ever got telling someone your trans
Post by: stephaniec on August 26, 2015, 01:10:48 PM
Quote from: OOAnne on August 26, 2015, 12:55:06 PM
'What would be the best response you ever got telling someone your trans' I am too.
I got that last week when I went to the hospital and the person drawing my blood asked me and then said " I am too' my first experience like that , quite cool.
Title: Re: What would be the best response you ever got telling someone your trans
Post by: cindianna_jones on August 26, 2015, 02:28:34 PM
From my current endocrinologist, last fall:

"Do you want to become a man?"

Two weeks ago I told  my "step daughter in-law and step son" now that my marriage of 24 years is over. From her:

"Okay." and then she went on to talk about other subjects. And best of all, she called a week later to chat again without any mention of it.

From him:

"Okay, so does this mean that you are not the mother of your own kids?"
I replied in terms from an old tv show he and I were fond of watching together. "Yeah. I'm not the mama."
"I don't have a problem with it Mom. You'll always be Mom to me. In fact, you're the only person who ever gave a s**t about me." And then he went on to talk about his job.

Cindi
Title: Re: What would be the best response you ever got telling someone your trans
Post by: sparrow on August 26, 2015, 02:43:12 PM
The look on my brother-in-law's face was priceless, as he tried to figure out if I was telling the truth or just messing with his head.  He was totally cool about it, and didn't want to offend me by reacting wrong.  On the other hand, if I was doing it to mess with his head, he'd probably have been mildly offended since several of his friends are also trans.
Title: Re: What would be the best response you ever got telling someone your trans
Post by: AbbyDS74 on August 26, 2015, 05:35:06 PM
  I had gone to a doctor that I hadn't seen since before I'd gotten very far into transition. The doctor and one or two nurses knew but that was it. I'd gone back in for a follow up visit long after I was due. When I got to the office to check in, I'd handed my driver's licence and my insurance card in one hand and a piece of paper with my old name on it in the other because I didn't want to out myself to the whole office. She looked back and forth at both of her hands and I repeated that that slip of paper was my OLD name. You could see everything click on her face and she quietly gasped and started nervously shuffling all the papers and folders on her desk. She said "I just figured that out. (she didn't) You're so perfect. And tall! (she was the same height as me except that I was wearing heels)". She was so flustered that she forgot to give me some forms to fill out so she brought them out to the waiting room, made some awkward comments, and told me that everyone there would be treated equally.
Title: Re: What would be the best response you ever got telling someone your trans
Post by: kelly_aus on August 26, 2015, 05:45:53 PM
"Tell me something I don't know."
"What took you so long?"
"Well, that explains a few things."

These are all responses I got when I came out. If I out myself now, I sometimes get disbelief..
Title: Re: What would be the best response you ever got telling someone your trans
Post by: captains on August 26, 2015, 06:19:22 PM
No real response and it's never talked about again but from that point on I'm barely ever misgendered.

It happened to me once, and I'm overwhelmed with gratitude just thinking about it.
Title: Re: What would be the best response you ever got telling someone your trans
Post by: kittenpower on August 26, 2015, 06:44:26 PM
Quote from: stephaniec on August 26, 2015, 11:16:39 AM
The best response that I ever got was from my therapist who said  ."that's wonderful " might be some what bias coming from a therapist though.

What would be the best response? (therapists, healthcare workers, and trans people excluded)
"It won't be easy, but do what you need to do to be happy and feel complete; I'm here for you, if there is anything you need just ask"

But, in reality, I didn't get a response that was even close to that when I came out pre transition; I had a lot of obstacles, and rejection from everyone, but it didn't stop me.
Title: Re: What would be the best response you ever got telling someone your trans
Post by: Cyrinaluna on August 26, 2015, 07:08:30 PM
From my mom
"All this time I was raising a son instead of a daughter"

"Mom I'm agender. As in neither male or female."

"Oh... but you're still my child right?"

*facepalm* "of course mom"

Then we hugged and and cried and it was cute.

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SGH-I337 using Tapatalk

Title: Re: What would be the best response you ever got telling someone your trans
Post by: Serenation on August 26, 2015, 07:16:03 PM
Same as a few others, had to see a new temp doctor when I was starting to transition. I'm sorry miss this appointment is for <boys name> you must be next. "that's me, I'm transsexual." Oh I see! so you want to become a man. "No no no no"
Title: Re: What would be the best response you ever got telling someone your trans
Post by: KatelynBG on August 26, 2015, 07:41:25 PM
Best friend: Don't worry, I got your back, we'll always be bros. ::facepalm:: "Lemme explain again, more slowly this time"
Title: Re: What would be the best response you ever got telling someone your trans
Post by: Stevie on August 26, 2015, 10:31:13 PM
After telling my then 86 year old mother,"before you were born I was hoping for another daughter".  She turned 90 in July and is still as sharp as ever. Gave me some great advice last year when I told her I was worried what people would think of my transitioning, she said  "you're doing this for you not for them", I love my mom :)
Title: Re: What would be the best response you ever got telling someone your trans
Post by: allisonsteph on August 27, 2015, 06:03:07 AM
"It's about f**king time, I knew that the day I met you."


Or:

"Ok. Do you prefer Allie or Allison?"
Title: Re: What would be the best response you ever got telling someone your trans
Post by: jeni on August 27, 2015, 10:28:57 AM
I am extremely fortunate to have a lot of good ones to choose from. A few favorites, paraphrased:

Friend online: "Ok, so you're being serious, right? Because then that's great! I'm very happy for you and honored that you told me."

(Had a similar response from another friend, made a little trickier because it was on April 1... bad choice of coming out day.)

Young daughter, whispering to my wife: "This means we'll have two girls in the family!!" (Math was off a bit, but the spirit was there. I assume she meant two girl parents.)

Mother: "It doesn't matter, I love you, no matter what." (This is more powerful than it might seem because she had just pulled me out of my seat with a bear hug.)

Very good friend: "I can do the name and pronouns, but I have to warn you, I'm probably going to keep treating you the way I've always treated you." (A more welcome promise has never been made.)
Title: Re: What would be the best response you ever got telling someone your trans
Post by: Riley Skye on August 27, 2015, 03:03:25 PM
When I first met my girlfriend and when she said it doesn't matter. We don't talk much allot it because we don't need to and that makes me wonderfully happy

Sent from my HTC6525LVW using Tapatalk

Title: Re: What would be the best response you ever got telling someone your trans
Post by: cindianna_jones on August 27, 2015, 03:35:36 PM
I just got one today that blew me away. I've been staying with my mother for the summer and I wore a new top with my jeans. It is a good hair day too.

Mom said, "You look so pretty."

I suppose that is the best thing ever told to me concerning this whole trans thing in my life.

Cindi
Title: Re: What would be the best response you ever got telling someone your trans
Post by: Zoetrope on August 27, 2015, 05:26:47 PM
''I was more shocked when you said you were Christian''.
Title: Re: What would be the best response you ever got telling someone your trans
Post by: laura.cornwell.779 on August 27, 2015, 06:45:06 PM
When my boyfriend said, "Will you marry me?"
My brother and I were sitting on his couch, and he said, "You really are pretty."
When the boyfriend above, said "I do." at our wedding ceremony last year! [emoji141]


Sent from my SM-G900P using Tapatalk

Title: Re: What would be the best response you ever got telling someone your trans
Post by: Sigyn on August 27, 2015, 06:54:56 PM
(In Gunny's voice from Full Metal Jacket) "Well, no **it." - my wife.
Title: Re: What would be the best response you ever got telling someone your trans
Post by: EvaLoring on August 27, 2015, 07:08:55 PM
The best I ever got was when  I first came out to one of my best friends in the navy said " So what does that have to do with our friend ship at all" and i almost dropped down to the deck and cryed. But that was pretty much everyones response but it was special cause he was the first.
Title: Re: What would be the best response you ever got telling someone your trans
Post by: Jessie Ann on August 27, 2015, 07:45:42 PM
When I told my kids I got:

Youngest son - "Does this mean your also going to become a Democrat?"
Me - "I'm willing to make some changes in my life but nothing as drastic as that."

Youngest daughter - "Wow Dad, that's so cool.  Do I still get to call you Dad?"
Me - Yes, I will always be your Dad.  You can just tell your friends that 'I'm going to my Dad's house for dinner, she's making spaghetti'."
Title: Re: What would be the best response you ever got telling someone your trans
Post by: KatelynBG on August 27, 2015, 09:03:00 PM
I just came out to my best gaming buddy. He was totally shocked. I'm the alpha male in my gaming group (personality not skill) and he was just shocked. But he was very supportive and interested and let me tell my whole story without judgement.
Title: Re: What would be the best response you ever got telling someone your trans
Post by: Sigyn on August 27, 2015, 09:41:16 PM
Quote from: Jessie Ann on August 27, 2015, 07:45:42 PM
When I told my kids I got:

Youngest son - "Does this mean your also going to become a Democrat?"
Me - "I'm willing to make some changes in my life but nothing as drastic as that."


OMG THIS! Although I had a lesbian friend tell me "Good, we need more non-hippie liberal whiners in the LGBT movement."

That made me  :o :-\
Title: Re: What would be the best response you ever got telling someone your trans
Post by: CrysC on August 27, 2015, 11:48:31 PM
"That explains a lot" - one of closest friends.

"I knew it!" - one of my lady drinking buddies

and my favorite was when I told my sister-in-law who then stood up, came over and threw her arms around me and said, "Welcome to the fun side."
Title: Re: What would be the best response you ever got telling someone your trans
Post by: MichelleZelda on August 28, 2015, 12:56:52 AM
Well my brother just said "I kinda figured"
Title: Re: What would be the best response you ever got telling someone your trans
Post by: Emileeeee on August 28, 2015, 07:28:30 AM
From a cousin: Okay.

From a former coworker: Thanks for telling me.

From my wife: That's it?
I felt kind of childish for waiting so long to tell her after that response

From my step-daughter: I know

I wish that's how they all went, but these made my day anyway.
Title: Re: What would be the best response you ever got telling someone your trans
Post by: OCAnne on August 28, 2015, 02:45:54 PM
From a colleague in the Midwest after seeming my profile on LinkedIn; "I'd do you."
Wish he would.

Thank you,
Anne
Title: Re: What would be the best response you ever got telling someone your trans
Post by: stephaniec on August 28, 2015, 03:29:50 PM
Quote from: OOAnne on August 28, 2015, 02:45:54 PM
From a colleague in the Midwest after seeming my profile on LinkedIn; "I'd do you."
Wish he would.

Thank you,
Anne
something to make your day.
Title: Re: What would be the best response you ever got telling someone your trans
Post by: HoneyStrums on August 28, 2015, 05:30:28 PM
I just realised, Although I posted in the way that you intended your question.

I didnt exacly answer it.
Your question was
what "Would" be your, not
What "was" your.

So to answer what would, i would have to say,
Being nice to you doesnt mean I didnt know, It means I dont care.
Title: Re: What would be the best response you ever got telling someone your trans
Post by: Lizandri Roth on August 29, 2015, 04:26:39 PM
This actually happened to my mother, but it made my day.  This was way back when I was still 100% male.  I was in the hospital for some routine checkup when my mother came to visit.  The nurse turned to her and said "Your daughter is in room 7." 

And a guy in a hardware shop, me still fully male: "Can I help you with anything miss."
Title: Re: What would be the best response you ever got telling someone your trans
Post by: Rachel on August 29, 2015, 08:51:58 PM
From one of my co-workers, If you leave take me with you.
Title: Re: What would be the best response you ever got telling someone your trans
Post by: Hailey zy on August 29, 2015, 09:12:05 PM
when I told my cousin, she lunged over and hugged me then we spent the night watching movies and doing make up and other fun stuff.
Title: Re: What would be the best response you ever got telling someone your trans
Post by: CrysC on August 29, 2015, 10:29:58 PM
Quote from: Lizandri Roth on August 29, 2015, 04:26:39 PM
This actually happened to my mother, but it made my day.  This was way back when I was still 100% male.  I was in the hospital for some routine checkup when my mother came to visit.  The nurse turned to her and said "Your daughter is in room 7." 

And a guy in a hardware shop, me still fully male: "Can I help you with anything miss."
Those are like the best.  You are trying to pass as a guy and are still read as female.  It's needed to be read as a woman when trying to be such but when you aren't even trying and people think you are it feels so confirming. 
Since I had to cut my hair (due to how I looked after a hair transplant) it hasn't happened as much but still does now and then. 
Title: Re: What would be the best response you ever got telling someone your trans
Post by: Northern Jane on August 30, 2015, 07:53:15 AM
Quite a few years ago I wanted to tell my best friend of 15 years about my childhood. I told her I was born transsexual. She was astounded and asked why I thought I needed to become male! (I was MtF).

When I went to change my name legally (some 30  years post-op) the female clerk in the court office wouldn't believe I was born male and wanted proof.

It is amusing when people don't believe the truth.  ;D
Title: Re: What would be the best response you ever got telling someone your trans
Post by: topit on August 30, 2015, 02:39:53 PM
probably "how long have u been on hrt" because i have Never been so that made me feel good abt myself
Title: Re: What would be the best response you ever got telling someone your trans
Post by: HoneyStrums on August 30, 2015, 03:18:31 PM
Quote from: topit on August 30, 2015, 02:39:53 PM
probably "how long have u been on hrt" because i have Never been so that made me feel good abt myself

I know, For some reason, all my feminiity must of come from hrt.

I get asked how long all the time. And its always the same, but you look so girly, I cant believe it. Urg
Title: Re: What would be the best response you ever got telling someone your trans
Post by: MichelleZelda on August 31, 2015, 12:52:11 AM
Came out to my mom and she asked me if I told my psychiatrist and I said no and she said as long as you're happy I just need to process
Title: Re: What would be the best response you ever got telling someone your trans
Post by: stephaniec on August 31, 2015, 01:02:47 AM
another funny time was when I called a cab and I always use the same company so they know who I am and I started to use that cab company before transitioning so I go by my male name. when the cab arrived to pick me up I got into a big argument with him because he didn't believe I wasn't female . It was pretty funny.
Title: Re: What would be the best response you ever got telling someone your trans
Post by: Valwen on August 31, 2015, 02:21:59 AM
I wish I had a funny or interesting story aside from a few hugs everyone responded with "whatever you need to do your my friend" or "I kinda thought it was something like that" with one or two "I think I knew but I am glad you told me"

Just tonight I ran into a woman I used to work with a few years ago at a supermarket I could not for the life of me remember where I knew them from so I asked and we chatted for about 5 minutes about other people we worked with and how much that place is awful, toxic and induces depression in all its employees and then we went our seperate ways, she drove off to go pick up her boyfriend and I went and found out my car is broken and my night is ruined. But through it all, not one question, not one comment, not one "hey umm your in a skirt and make up, also when you cross your arms you have cleavage" nope she acted like nothing at all was diffrent, ok she may have been in shock but the self restraint it takes to say nothing at all, truly amazing especially because I made it clear i came from work to there so my clothing was nothing something I wore out for some party or something.

Serena, who apparently is the lease shocking transgender person anyone has ever met.
Title: Re: What would be the best response you ever got telling someone your trans
Post by: FlinchCat on August 31, 2015, 02:35:20 AM
It was hugs.

It will always be hugs.
Title: Re: What would be the best response you ever got telling someone your trans
Post by: Harley Quinn on August 31, 2015, 05:27:26 PM
^^^best response I've heard of^^^

A close second when I got no response and the next day I received a MAC makeup bag and some essentials from that friend and a smile.
Title: Re: What would be the best response you ever got telling someone your trans
Post by: Yenneffer on August 31, 2015, 05:37:34 PM
In police station woman at desk looked at me funny and said do you go by another name
Title: Re: What would be the best response you ever got telling someone your trans
Post by: ashley_thomas on August 31, 2015, 08:13:10 PM
My best girlfriend responded, "I'm so happy for you, this is so exciting, I'm so happy for you!!"

She actually listened to me when I, when we told her we had some exciting news to share.

It was remarkable, truly the best response I ever had or could imagine.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
Title: Re: What would be the best response you ever got telling someone your trans
Post by: ashley_thomas on August 31, 2015, 08:25:20 PM
The ones that make me chuckle -- didn't see that one coming, or out of 200 lawyers I know you'd be the last I'd figure would come out as Trans.  For whatever reason those make me smile too.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
Title: Re: What would be the best response you ever got telling someone your trans
Post by: Abby S. on September 06, 2015, 02:15:06 PM
I came out yesterday to a school friend (only the second of my friends I had known before, I came out to. Not counting friends I made at trans* support groups).
Her respond: So when are we going shopping? We have to do a girls day out! (These were her exact words).

I know, I am lucky.
Title: Re: What would be the best response you ever got telling someone your trans
Post by: Naomi71 on September 06, 2015, 04:14:30 PM
I told my family last week. They were all very positive. My sister said:

"I knew it! Finally I have a sister!"

And my brother said:

"if you believe you're a golden retriever next year, I'll love you all the same"
Title: Re: What would be the best response you ever got telling someone your trans
Post by: Autumnleaf on September 11, 2015, 03:22:50 AM
My best friend who happens to be very a macho/masculine guy.  His response after a few seconds of silence was "Huh, that actually doesn't surprise me."

I felt insulted for some reason and asked him, "Really? What the hell man?  Seriously?"  :laugh:



Title: Re: What would be the best response you ever got telling someone your trans
Post by: Missy D on September 13, 2015, 05:38:02 PM
One of the nicest I had was from a girl I was friendly with a few years ago. We weren't friends exactly, she worked at a bar I go to but we used to chat quite a bit and I saw her now and again when she wasn't working. She left the job and moved outside the town where I live and we sort of naturally lost touch. Just one of those things, I suppose.

A few months ago I was out with some friends at a village fete. Who should turn up? The girl I used to know!! I suppose it sort of made sense, she lives nearer to that village now. She didn't know anything about me; we hadn't spoken for so long so she'd have no reason to. I said hi, she recognised me after a moment and simply said:

"Wow, that's quite a transformation. What do I call you now?". I told her, we had a catch up for ten minutes or so and that was about it  ;). She just didn't care - which was refreshing.

Or from one of my neighbours:

"I saw a girl driving your car the other day, have you got a relative staying?" - I explained and she wasn't bothered. Weirdly her daughter, who I've never really spoken to (only because she's like 13 or 14 and I'm 27 so we're too far apart in age to want to socialise. Previously we've just said hi or waved if passing in the road), was really interested too. I've got to go over there at some point for a proper chat  :)
Title: Re: What would be the best response you ever got telling someone your trans
Post by: iKate on September 13, 2015, 05:57:03 PM
The reaction from the judge who was honestly surprised at why I was changing my name until I told him I'm trans, then it all made sense to him.
Title: Re: What would be the best response you ever got telling someone your trans
Post by: TheQuestion on September 13, 2015, 06:10:39 PM
my aunt gave me a hug
Title: Re: What would be the best response you ever got telling someone your trans
Post by: Jen♀ on September 14, 2015, 01:19:26 AM
My best friend said "wow..." and didn't say anything for a while, but he had this huge smile on his face, and then he started to cry. We both just sat there crying and laughing, it was honestly really beautiful.

My brother was nice too. My mom actually told him for me (which I okayed). He came out and sat on the couch next to me. We both had this grin and then he shrugged and he said "Alright, well... Wanna watch Seinfeld?" I bursted out laughing. I knew then that he was going to be my biggest supporter, and he is.

Nowadays when I meet boys, like new-hires at work, they always ask "Okay but like... Can I still say 'dude'? I call everyone dude..." and I'm always like "yeah, dude it up homeslice" :P actually, one of the kids who asked me that called me "ma'am" yesterday, that sure made my day :)
Title: Re: What would be the best response you ever got telling someone your trans
Post by: Rose City Rose on September 14, 2015, 03:59:14 AM
The best response for me is when they nod, smile, and then call me by my preferred name and pronoun as if nothing had happened. :laugh:
Title: Re: What would be the best response you ever got telling someone your trans
Post by: allisonsteph on September 14, 2015, 07:05:36 AM
From my now ex-boyfriend's five year old daughter:

Her : "If you're a girl how come you have a boy voice?"

Me: "I used to be a boy."

Her: "That's cool! Can I have a snack?"   :laugh:

That child never got my name or pronouns wrong after that.
Title: Re: What would be the best response you ever got telling someone your trans
Post by: cartowheel on September 14, 2015, 10:25:33 AM
Probably my brothers - they both were just like, "okay, that's cool, what else is up?"  No questions, no snide remarks, no brushing things aside, nothing.