I want to email my parents today, before I go back to college, since thats when everyone else in college will know now that I'm a girl- mtf. I want to change my social media and what not as well, but feel like i should tell my parents before that.
I just figured out that I was transgender, and never really knew, so I don't think of it as coming out.
Ive been living with my friends right now, and only a couple of my friends from college know.
My parents are very conservative and religious and military family but i feel like they will have to accept who I am, especially over email. Also Im the only son. But really want to tell them now rather than later in person. I haven't seen them all this summer, and Im just planning to tell them that it is completely my desicon and has nothing to do with other people or media, cause it honestly doesn't. Im just transitioning cause the girl stereotype matches who I am, so it would be just easier to be viewed as a girl and not a boy. (I look like a girl, act girlish, like girlier things, not flamboyant, and sound pretty much like a girl and not like a "gay voice")
SO how the heck do I tell my parents??? I just need a push so I can do it today. Going back to school in a couple days and want them to know before that. Im just an honest person, and would never hide it.
I also need their help about changing my name and what not, cause I have absolutely no idea how to do that. And possibly have "the surgery" done by their insurance.
You have given yourself an impressive list of tasks!! We can only applaud your honesty and I would encourage you to consider a phone call perhaps as a more personal communication with them?? Many of us got some practice sharing this truth with friends or writing out how you feel first.
Wanting and needing their assistance with insurance is understandable but as an adult you have the right to change your name. If your folks remain conversational you might ask them what female name they had considered for you if any? Depending on where you live, a name change may be accomplished at a County courthouse with some fees and time involved. It may take your folks some time to process this major news too and some can react with shock at first. Please try and be calm in response.
There are all kinds of threads here about coming out to parents; just put that in the search box and expose yourself to others experiences. Best of luck you brave girl!
My dad and stepmom are very religious and conservative. I originally wrote them a letter. Even though I ended up just spilling the beans in person, it really did help me collect my thoughts and figure out how to come out to other people in my life. Even if you're not going to use it, I always recommend writing it out as a letter first. You'll phrase things in ways that you might not have thought of if you were in a conversation.
I don't have the exact letter I wrote, but I opened it by saying that I was going to tell them something important about myself and that I hoped they would still be interested in being in my life by the end of the letter. Dropped the T bomb. Explained what that meant in general and what it means to me personally. Described all the steps I had taken thus far to start transitioning, and what I had planned for the future. Told them I understood if they didn't understand or needed clarification and time to think about things, but also asked for their support.
If you need their help for things, you may need to be gentler than I was. I'm 26 with multiple degrees and a job that pays more than theirs combined, so there wasn't much I needed them to do for me other than call me son and tolerate my second puberty.