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'How / when did you decide your new name? What is your special meaning of your new name?'
Allow me to share my story how I chose my first name Sharon.
This also makes a lesson how some parents pay no attention to their children - normal or transsexual. To all parents - PAY ATTENTION TO YOUR CHILDREN! PLEASE! We transsexual / transgender provide numerous signs to family and friends throughout our childhood but they fail to perceive them. Choosing my new name was one of my many signs.
I could have feminised my male predecessor name of Nick, my 'dead name' in the parlance of one spirit friend, but I never liked it enough to keep it. As an adoptee, I decided that I had little obligation to keep my fake male first name and last name. I have no information of my biological family and saw no reason to keep whatever it might be since they saw no reason to keep me.
There have been occasions when I felt I owed little to either family. I already know - my anger issues at both families - my adopting family using me as their target for abuse, assault, and attempted murder. Yet it was not all bad in my adopted family; I found some benefits in this stranger household. I cherish among my best memories:
- (a) lived and travelled throughout the USA, Canada, and Mexico,
- (b) lived and travelled at Europe and into Asian Turkey, and
- (c) spoke about 12 languages foreign to my native English.
I doubt my original family could have provided much better.
I tried many female names for myself throughout my childhood - names of family, relatives, friends, neighbours, celebrities. I was raised Roman Catholic; I dutifully tried Catholic saint names. I posed names to family, relatives, friends, neighbours - claiming not as my own, but simply seeking comment of those names. So it was that I talked to my mom one Saturday morning (Spring 1965 - age eight) during visitation. I asked her about the name Sharon. Her reaction was something demeaning such as, 'That's a girls name. You don't want a girl's name.' 'Actually I do, Mom. I AM a girl, Mom! I'm gonna do it Mom!' But she obviously failed to comprehend what turned into another feminine protesting session that morning. So then I tried replying that it was for a friend, or whatever. My mom had no clue; I asked her about our conversation years later and she had no recollection of something so momentous to me. Sharon it would be in 1965.
I experience deja vu nightmares. My former and current names took extra meaning through them at least twice - Sharon Tate and Nicole Brown.
- I had a deja vu nightmare about a mass murder and a dead person named Sharon during the Summer of 1969. My original interpretation was that the death of Sharon in my nightmare was the demise of my self - unknown whether it was the death of my spirit or the death of my physical person. A few weeks later was the murder of Sharon Tate. I did not really know of her until that crime took her promising life. Now I could not let Sharon's memory go. It is something I hold within myself.
- I experienced another deja vu nightmare about a knife wielding killer in a black Ninja suit slashing at a man and a woman at a doorway (February 1994). I was all three persons in my nightmare: the woman, the man, and the killer. I strove to understand all the implications as all three. A few months later I turned on the radio at work as the announcer began a news story about a murder scene. He never got far into the story when I blurted out in a hushed voice, 'OJ did it. It was OJ' before that news commentator mentioned OJ. My co-workers gave their puzzled stare to me; I did not really know that I said what I said loud enough until they repeated to me that they heard what I said.
I can't bear to read about these crimes and learn if what I dreamed is what actually happened or if my dreams reflected co-incidental illusions based upon having experienced years of abuse and assault at home.
A few years later I met the members of F'Lail when I was doing videography for bands and musicians. They released a song called 'Nicole'. I was re-living both that nightmare and that crime all over again as I heard their haunting composition even though I do not carry Nick with me anymore.
On a different note but equally serious is my middle name: Anne Nichols, the American playwright and author of the play 'Abie's Irish Rose' (c 1922). Sorry, there is no major back-story behind this choice as there is for Sharon; I chose it to make a political statement. 'Abie's Irish Rose' is a story that resolves bigotry and prejudice - much as I endeavour in my small way. I have (or at least had until crooks stole it last year) an original first edition stage version of her play.
Choosing my last name was initially no more scientific than browsing through the telephone books; honest. We lived at a major metropolitan area; the book was about two inches thick. I nixed 'Smith' and 'Jones'. I initially went for something in the middle of the book - common enough to attract no notice and certainly nothing to elicit requests to explain the origin of a rare name.
But I changed my mind.
I withhold the story of my legal last name. Some who know my legal last name know that story. For others it will remain dormant.
Sure, I could have changed my name to something else at any time along the way. I am pleased with my choice. I now would not think to change my name.
My first legal name and sex identification change was Summer 1978 through Social Security Administration. My dad went to collect the mail from the box the day my new Social Security ID card as Sharon arrived (September 1978). He thought it was an error and told me he will return it to SSA; I had to sneak it from him when relatives came for dinner that Saturday.
My state affirmed my legal name change to Sharon and my legal status as female in Spring 1980; I promptly went to MVD when I had my papers at hand, and received my first new driver's licence with both my new name and female sex designation.
This was all so easy in 1978 and 1980. There did not seem to be a specific process then that there is today for either SSA or state legal name and sex identification changes. I simply wrote a letter to someone in authority and they issued their approval.
These events (name change, legal sex identification change, transition, operations) all happened right before my family's eyes and still they can't realise it 35 years later; I'm 're-born' at age 35 now.
Pre-transition began in 1974; full transition began in 1979, I completed transition in 1985. My only regret is that I did not do it better.
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Thank you for sharing. I chose my first name when I transitioned the first time. I liked the name then and I suppose being familir with the first name because of Mariah Carey certainly played a role in my choosing it. I did eventually find out what name they had chosen until things went differently then planned when I was born. My sister ended up with that name so choosing that name wasn't going to happen and to it's just not me where Mariah is. Now the first time around I had chosen Ann for a middle name, but that didn't go over well so when it come to choosing the middle name this time around I was inspired by reading a book. This book eventually lead me to some history of where the idea of her book came from and a name. That name happened to be Hannah. Now my wasn't happy with this choice either, but well guess what it was my choice and fit like a glove. The funny part is the middle name I had chosen to transition with the first time is found inside my middle name now. Then my last name I just chose to leave as it was. I don't have any problems with it and I'm more than glad to leave that in place. Anyway that is how my name came about.
Hugs
Mariah
I didnt want to have the same name as sombody I knew, or knew of.
I wanted a name that I could shorten and not realy like the full pronouncing of
And Vicky/Victoria was the first name I thought of that complied to that.
My middle name? well thats what my dad wanted my First to be, but he realy ddnt have any enthusiasme for it, It was just that aparanty, just feminising your male name is "the exspected" and I was breaking free of exspectations, so I had that for my middle name, on account as I think its oly right my dad choose atleast on of my names.
I'm still debating my name, I'm using Bobbi the feminine of my middle name but I'm seriously considering Sarah.
Sarah is a name that has been in my head for longer than I can remember. It has been the name of my female characters in short stories, video games, and pen and paper role playing games.
Honestly I don't know why I didn't use it when I made my profile.
But on the other hand I still feel an attachment to the names my father chose for me and feel that I should use the feminine forms of them.
I will make up my mind eventually though.
I had two that I liked that I shared with my transfriends. They preferred one of them and used it until I sort of just rolled with it.
I was 3 or 4 when a new girl moved to the neighbourhood and I liked her name so much that I adopted it for myself. It has been with me ever since, all 63 years, and became my legal name in 1974.
I was also adopted and was 'disowned' over TS. I stayed with my adopted family name but was never reconciled with my adopted folks. Five years ago my birth family tracked me down and wanted me to be part of the family - being born TS was irrelevant to them - and I am still toying with the idea of change my last name back to my family nane at birth.
I just picked my first and middle cause I've always liked how they sounded, lol XD
I tried to pick a first name before I really came out publicly, but it felt super forced. Later on that year, after giving up on choosing a name, the name Alice came to me in a dream. It wasn't an elaborate naming ceremony, but the dream was significant.
The first person to see me as a girl was an older friend I used to run with in Houston in '08. Every three days or so we would stop by the local clubhouse on the Katy Freeway and she would dress me up (my first experience with acceptance and support). She got hit by a bus in late October that year, and the trauma of that resulted in me leaving Texas for good.
In the dream we were on horseback, running from the law. She kept talking to me, and calling me Alice. When I awoke, I knew that was meant to be my name. I like to think she had the name picked out all along....
I guess I'll never know
Quote from: Bobbi82 on August 30, 2015, 04:55:15 AM
I'm still debating my name, I'm using Bobbi the feminine of my middle name but I'm seriously considering Sarah.
Sarah is a name that has been in my head for longer than I can remember. It has been the name of my female characters in short stories, video games, and pen and paper role playing games.
Honestly I don't know why I didn't use it when I made my profile.
But on the other hand I still feel an attachment to the names my father chose for me and feel that I should use the feminine forms of them.
I will make up my mind eventually though.
WHY not use both?
Sarah, Bobbi, Surname?
I had a fateful night on 9 June, 2009.
Or one day around there. But I had an accidental call to my cellphone. "Is Kate there?" I responded that there was no Kate, and sorry that they got the wrong number. That night I had a dream that I was Kate.
I was donned the name since that day. As well I wasn't aware of my transgender state at that time, but as well I still had gone by that name for about a year. Also I was Kate when I was in a relationship, and well through that time then slowly Kate laid dormant for the years, until I had finally realized of my being.
Kate <3
Quote from: Katiepie on August 30, 2015, 02:16:37 PM
I had a fateful night on 9 June, 2009.
Or one day around there. But I had an accidental call to my cellphone. "Is Kate there?" I responded that there was no Kate, and sorry that they got the wrong number. That night I had a dream that I was Kate.
I was donned the name since that day. As well I wasn't aware of my transgender state at that time, but as well I still had gone by that name for about a year. Also I was Kate when I was in a relationship, and well through that time then slowly Kate laid dormant for the years, until I had finally realized of my being.
Kate <3
+1
I looked up a few names on urbandictionary, ignoring mean comments.
Some comments stuck .
Ive only ever known one Richenda & it's close to my 'other' name which saves a whole load of hassle with paperwork. Also I just like it. Well, actually I really just like 'Chen.' It feels right for me.
Chen :)
xx
All of my siblings and myself were given 'D' names by our parents, and so I feel a certain affinity for the letter. Furthermore, if I chose another letter, it would seem as if I was trying to make a break from my family, which I'm not.
Soooo, I was sitting around at my sister's with some friends, and while they were helping me with my makeup (I've been aware of my dysphoria on some level for as long as I can recall, but it's very new that I'm out and embracing it. Thusly, I'm still just learning to do my makeup) and we were talking about what name I should use. Deidre, Denise, Daphne... none were quite clicking until Delaney came up and we were all like, "Bam! Yes, that's it! Delaney."
My given, quite literally, is Ryan John. It is not a bad name for a boy. But growing up I never felt connected to that name. Ryan came from my parents wanting another "R" name in the family. John came from my mother's brother. Which is nice, but it never felt like me. I have never felt connected to that person who had that name.
Some of it is because I am adopted. So it was a name that was given to me at birth. Whatever name my birth-mother had for me that got erased over this Ryan John name.
But the name I have chosen for myself Sarah Marie, is a name that just feels right. I actually dreamt and journaled about my name for a long time before I even chose it really. It is funny because a lot of the women I look up to and feel empowered by are named Sarah or have Sarah in their name. And they are all different as well, so it is such a wonderful tapestry of women to be a part of.
- Sarah Marie
(P.S. - I'm not the only one who dreamt of her name, I see. That is really interesting. It is amazing what our subconsciousness is telling us while we dream.)
I really liked the name Amber, and was going to go with that, but I have many memories of my mother joking and poorly singing "A pretty girl is like a Melody". Good memories. I knew instantly that I need look no further. Amber got pushed back to my middle name. ^^
Ava, because it had the best meaning. And sounds coincidentally similar to my male name.
I was originally named Danny. I always hated that name but the biomum called me that to remember her late brother. When DOCS took me, my name was changed to Daniel so the biomum couldn't find me. And when I began transitioning I decided on Danielle. I was thinking of my brothers when I picked my new name and they always called me Danny and I decided on Danielle so could be nicknamed Dani.
I am keeping my first name as it can be used for males and females. My middle name is one that I have always disliked and have avoided at all costs. For ease of transition I have chosen a name that starts with the same letter, e. I have always like the Irish names, my ancestors, so the hunt was on. When I found a site that had a description of Irish girl names, one just jumped out at me. I had a immediate connection to it. I also have always like the english pronunciation of the name, ' Enya'. In Irish it is Eithne.
I am still in the early stages of my transition and am not ready to make the whole document switch. I will be seeing how things go over the next year.
I went by a shortened, gender-neutral name for a while before deciding on my new name. I'd wanted to take the name Dorian for months prior, and now I have! I don't have any special meaning with it, it just clicked with me. I chose it because I like the way it sounds, and it also fits my personality. Plus it's unusual and I don't think one of the more common names would fit me.
I liked Teresa Cheryl even though its the fem form of my male name, my wife said no to Teresa but excepted Cheryl as my fem name,Reeves is from my Irish background. So I go by Cheryl Reeves with no middle name.
Freya originates from Scandinavian mythology, but it really became my name after I started writing a fantasy novel for a school project. At the time, I was still in denial, so I started out with a male main character. A few days later, I thought "This is going nowhere if I don't have a female main character". I ended up having the new female protagonist and the old male one to be twins. The thing is, like many beginning writers, I sort of wrote the protagonist into an author avatar. However, which one of the two main characters was the author avatar? It was unclear at first, but later on, my writing style improved, and I rewrote them both into having their own personalities. But that female protagonist was still closer to me than any of the other characters.
And guess what her name was.
We have had lots of name threads here and there are so many great stories to share. Mine is simple. My older sister wanted a sister and sized up the boys in our family and found me to be her Tessa. I have very little recollection of being that three year old girl but apparently enjoyed it. My older brother told me that if I kept it up I would become a girl and I found that secretly agreeable. My sister would tease me about it constantly, even as an adult but, I repressed the whole show and it was not until i was in therapy that I could recall some events and my name. I called her when I came out again and said I sorta remembered a few things. She said "oh Jimmy we did that for years." Gulp, OK. Our minds are powerful enough to repress and deny the sun is still shining some days!
I am Tessa James to honor and embrace my whole life.
I've always called myself Katelyn in private. Since 8 or 9 it was Katelyn. I have no memory of how I came up with it. I didn't grow up with any Katelyns so I really have no idea. Now my middle name is a last name and I always envisioned making my middle name my last name, but now that I have kids with my last name, I don't think I will be doing that.
my mom gave me my name :D
Quote from: Lady_Oracle on September 13, 2015, 04:42:45 PM
my mom gave me my name :D
My mom gave me the idea for mine. Since I liked my orginal name, I kept it sorta by picking the initials K.C..
In a way my first name was chosen for me by a major company. I had applied for one of their gasoline credit cards but somehow their computer spat out Clare. The company said they didn't care as long as the bill was paid so I left it as was. If I got junk mail with that name on it. I knew where it had come from initially.
My middle name was to honour a nice saleslady. I was looking at some clothes while I was still presenting as a male. I had the size chart with me to check. The lady asked if I needed some assistance and said I was looking for something for my sister's birthday. She told me that generally clothing sizes vary between manufacturers so say a 10 from X is not the same 10 from Y. It's best to try them on before purchase. I said I wanted I to be a surprise so what should I do?
She looked around and told me that if I was honest, I'd have a better experience and be happier in the long run. She asked if the clothes were really for my sister or me. A gift certificate would be best for my sister but if they were for me she could help me discreetly and it would really be the best thing. I let her know they were for me and she was quite happy with that. We chose a few things and went to a private area as I was told that the lady at the change room was like a Nazi! I'd never get past her as I was.
She made some clothing suggestions and explained why some of the clothes I had weren't the best choices and her suggestions were good. Since she helped me a lot and was so kind to me, I adopted her middle name as my own. Each time I returned I had her help me and when I went back dressed, I had her assist me and told her I adopted her name. She was very touched I'd do that.
My last name I changed as well. I took Ravenwood from the Indiana Jones film as it allowed me to retain the same last name initial, fitted smoother than my new names did with my last name and you have to admit, she sure kicked ass!
Unlike my birth name (Michelle), I wanted a name that was masculine and very uncommon. I also wanted a short name that I can write really fast for signatures. I'm the type of person who tries to make sure my cursive is legible, so it takes more than a few seconds to spell out my full name on a sheet of paper in cursive...which is embarrassing in front of a UPS guy who wants to leave as soon as possible. No matter how hard I try, I can't seem to make myself rush and NOT care about how legible my handwriting is. I just can't do it.
I specifically chose Todd because that was the only name that went very well with my preferred first and last name. I won't say what my first name is, but my surname's "Turner". Not sure why I chose Turner though (aside from being very fast to write and still recognizable). It's only been a few weeks and I already forgot. :embarrassed:
Quote from: Toddin3D on October 03, 2015, 09:51:27 PM
I won't say what my first name is, but my surname's "Turner". Not sure why I chose Turner though (aside from being very fast to write and still recognizable). It's only been a few weeks and I already forgot. :embarrassed:
Well I'd say its not important. What is important is that you like the feel of it :)
Ashley - common name in my birth year and ironically used to be predominately a male name. I find that hilarious.
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I'm still debating if I want to change my name to Galyo. The name itself has no meaning other than the fact that I thought of it, which I think makes it personal. I like names that are not typical, and Galyo also has a bit of a genderneutral sound to it, which I like. My full name would be Galyo Windsor. Windsor is also a name I thought of myself. :)