Hi girls
13 years post transition, I'm still very insecure (even if I hide it well most of the time)
Please can you tell me what you think of me, based on these few photos and selfies? Thank you ;)
And if you can rank me: 1) Ugly 2) Average 3) Pretty 4) Beautiful
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I see a woman.
I agree!
I see a pretty woman...and in the top photo I see a Happy pretty woman
Ahhhh..... Hottie ! single, looking? ;D
3. Pretty (Honestly, no sugar coating)
I see a woman through and through. A little jellous may i add..
Wow you've got no reason I can tell to be insecure, i'd totally ask you out.
Wow... Gorgeous
I see absolutely nothing masculine about you. If you didn't tell me, the thought that you had transitioned would never even cross my mind.
sam1234
Quote from: sam1234 on September 04, 2015, 12:16:16 PM
I see absolutely nothing masculine about you. If you didn't tell me, the thought that you had transitioned would never even cross my mind.
sam1234
One of the biggest compliment that someone can tell me
Quote from: sarahtokes on September 04, 2015, 09:37:27 AM
I see a pretty woman...and in the top photo I see a Happy pretty woman
Thank you Sarah
Quote from: MichelleZelda on September 04, 2015, 10:04:58 AM
Wow you've got no reason I can tell to be insecure, i'd totally ask you out.
Thank you Michelle if I can see how you look like may be I would ask you out too ;)
Quote from: leacobb on September 04, 2015, 10:02:56 AM
I see a woman through and through. A little jellous may i add..
Don't be you look pretty hot yourself
Thanks cristal xXx
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I wouldn't even guess and I'm pretty good at guessing. Based on just the photos, I'd say you are very pretty. If you are beautiful inside, that will only make you that much more attractive. Far too many fail to understand that it is the beauty inside that radiates too.
Cindi
The pics aren't loading on my iPad but based on the feedback of others you're doing fine. If after ten years you're still feeling insecure about your appearance maybe a chat with a therapist will help you build stronger confidence.
Quote from: Ms Grace on September 04, 2015, 04:26:43 PM
The pics aren't loading on my iPad but based on the feedback of others you're doing fine. If after ten years you're still feeling insecure about your appearance maybe a chat with a therapist will help you build stronger confidence.
Not everything can be fixed by therapy Ms Grace, having gender dysphoria since I was 5-6 years old and living this ->-bleeped-<- for more than 30 years has put its marks on me, you can't suffer, being in pain for such a long time without consequences, I've succeeded to survive 2 suicidal attempts, my transition has been blazing fast (only 17 months total) but still remain the memories of what I've been thru during my childhood and the years that has followed, remember it was the 70's and 80's in France I was living in 50 000 inhabitants city where transsexuality was not even mentioned....I can surely feel the attempt of kindness of your comments, I really do, but therapy is NOT a magic wand (btw I've been in therapy before, during and after the transition for a total of 3 years and half, and I've accepted to be hurt by my past, since I couldn't find a way out)
Quote from: Cindi Jones on September 04, 2015, 02:50:12 PM
I wouldn't even guess and I'm pretty good at guessing. Based on just the photos, I'd say you are very pretty. If you are beautiful inside, that will only make you that much more attractive. Far too many fail to understand that it is the beauty inside that radiates too.
Cindi
Thank you Cindi, I think you're right about the inner beauty but at some stage you need to reflect that on the outside.
Pshaw, why stop at 4? How about
5) girl to write home about
Quote from: sparrow on September 04, 2015, 05:49:50 PM
Pshaw, why stop at 4? How about
5) girl to write home about
Sorry I don't get what you said
Hmm, confidence. That's a tricky one. You look way better than I do, I mean that honestly.. But it seems I have way more confidence than you do. Go figure?
I'm not going to claim therapy was a complete answer for me, but it was a partial one. It got me to the point where I didn't hate myself any more. That enabled me to get out in the world and exist and love and live - and that's how I came to love myself and gained the confidence I now have. Early on, some days I had to fake it, I'll admit.
You look gorgeous, Cristal.
Quote from: Cristal Lecter on September 04, 2015, 05:15:22 PM
Not everything can be fixed by therapy Ms Grace, having gender dysphoria since I was 5-6 years old and living this ->-bleeped-<- for more than 30 years has put its marks on me, you can't suffer, being in pain for such a long time without consequences, I've succeeded to survive 2 suicidal attempts, my transition has been blazing fast (only 17 months total) but still remain the memories of what I've been thru during my childhood and the years that has followed, remember it was the 70's and 80's in France I was living in 50 000 inhabitants city where transsexuality was not even mentioned....I can surely feel the attempt of kindness of your comments, I really do, but therapy is NOT a magic wand (btw I've been in therapy before, during and after the transition for a total of 3 years and half, and I've accepted to be hurt by my past, since I couldn't find a way out)
Fair enough.
If you were to be confident about your appearance, how would that change you? What would you do that is different to now? How would it affect your life?
Honestly, I am jealous. You are rocking it girl. Way to go :)
Cristal, reposting after seeing some of the other replies since my first post. in my humble opinion you are truly beautiful and I hope your able to find inner peace with yourself.
Quote from: Ms Grace on September 04, 2015, 06:44:04 PM
Fair enough.
If you were to be confident about your appearance, how would that change you? What would you do that is different to now? How would it affect your life?
Physically, may be a correction of my vagina, and losing 17 kilos
But most importantly, having different parents, or at least that they could accept me, I've given them 40 years of my life and they still misgender me
Finding someone to love me, who accept my past but who can clearly see the woman I'm and little girl I was already.
Well worth the effort.
Are you kidding?
4 4 4 4 4 4 4 4 4
WOW !!!
I only see pictures of a beautiful woman :o
If I thought I could look like you Id start tomorrow. :'(
Your a beautiful woman so quit second guessing yourself.
Be'yooful!
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Quote from: Cristal Lecter on September 04, 2015, 05:51:01 PM
Sorry I don't get what you said
Oh, I meant "a girl to take home." If I was single, I'd probably chat you up. :)
No reason to be insecure. You're orgeous. Please find what you need to know that for yourself though. Life's too short to let garbage beat us down. :) best of luck to you.
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I see a woman trying to dress like her younger daughter hehehe.
Quote from: Stella Sophia on September 06, 2015, 01:32:38 AM
I see a woman trying to dress like her younger daughter hehehe.
I've always wore jeans and "young" stuff, sorry I don't think I look anything like 46 years old and as long as I've no winkles on my face I don't have to dress as grand ma....My question was not on my fashion style, but on my looks
Quote from: jaynemonroe79 on September 06, 2015, 01:17:02 AM
No reason to be insecure. You're orgeous. Please find what you need to know that for yourself though. Life's too short to let garbage beat us down. :) best of luck to you.
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thank you so much Jayne
Quote from: Cindi Jones on September 04, 2015, 02:50:12 PM
If you are beautiful inside, that will only make you that much more attractive. Far too many fail to understand that it is the beauty inside that radiates too.
Cindi
EXACTLY, Cindi. Yet again, you've got it right! I applaud almost every single comment I read from you. Thanks for writing such nice comments on here!
Cheers
Bibi B.
I'd say between 3 and 4, but that's mainly b/c you're just not my type. :-P In pictures at least, you look great to me. Try to be happy, I'm sorry that you're having self confidence issues.
Quote from: KristinaM on September 06, 2015, 01:04:09 PM
I'd say between 3 and 4, but that's mainly b/c you're just not my type. :-P In pictures at least, you look great to me. Try to be happy, I'm sorry that you're having self confidence issues.
Well between 3 and 4 it's good enough for me thank you....Sorry that I'm not your type though
Cristal, dear, you are more beautiful than I could ever hope to be.
I'm sorry your path has been so filled with pain, but you cannot change the past. From the looks of it you have survived and flourished. Take some pride in that. Were I to meet you in person, I would gladly be your friend, and I think many on this forum would feel the same way.
With kindness,
Terri
Cristal, not a thing wrong sweetie!
Quote from: MsMarlo on September 06, 2015, 03:05:37 PM
Cristal, not a thing wrong sweetie!
MsMario thank you for your answer you look very very hot too, very tempting
Not sure what you want people to say. I am still the same person. Still quiet and still a tangled mess. Appearance has nothing to do will happiness.
Paula, <3 X.
Quote from: paula lesley on September 06, 2015, 03:59:32 PM
Not sure what you what people to say. I am still the same person. Still quiet and still a tangled mess. Appearance has nothing to do will happiness.
Paula, <3 X
I'm not sure to understand with your english, but from what I've understood just know that I did my transition NOT to be happy but to BE MYSELF. There's unhappy and insecure cis women and cis men, happiness is not triggered by one's gender. And yes I've had a very difficult past that was the consequence of my gender dysphoria. Transitioning has made the things easier to be me, but a transition doesn't bring happiness on every aspect of your life, it just correct what's wrong, after that it's up to you to try to be happy (which is not easy in our societies where trans people are turned into ridicules, or worse assimilated to ->-bleeped-<-s, and it's so hard to find people who will love you both sentimentally and physically)
Mine makes sense now ;)
I'm transitioning to be happy. If other people have a problem with it ? well I just don't give a *uck. But having said that. I am fully aware that I have made the change and I know some people will never accept me. It's their loss. Life's for living.
Paula, <3 X.
Dyslexic and roudp ;)
Pretty beautiful!! Omgomgomg! If I could I'd sooo date you hard then marry the crap out of you. And did I add that I'm also jealous? I'm totally fan-girling over here. Seriously, I wouldn't have picked you were trans. I see a happy beautiful cisgender woman in your photos.
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100% no doubt...ur gorgeous :)
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Quote from: paula lesley on September 06, 2015, 05:47:26 PM
Mine makes sense now ;)
I'm transitioning to be happy. If other people have a problem with it ? well I just don't give a *uck. But having said that. I am fully aware that I have made the change and I know some people will never accept me. It's their loss. Life's for living.
Paula, <3 X.
Dyslexic and roudp ;)
If you transition to be happy you will fail, transitioning is ONLY a way to get yourself the keys to happiness it's NOT happiness itself. Any shrinks will tell you that, and most of the girls here will too.
First of all, even knowing your background... I don't see a single thing that would make me think anything but 110% woman. And a very pretty one at that (I'm being honest, you have a really nice face). If I met you on the street, and You said you're trans and if I didn't know better I would think you were joking or lying to make a point of some sort. You're just a woman, full stop.
For myself as well, I am transitioning to be myself. I still have depression. I'm still messed up. There's more to my life's problems than my gender. And I agree that doing anything in life is not an "answer" to happiness in and of itself (getting married, finding a job, having money etc). On the other hand, for some people the gender issues are a significant source of their unhappiness so transitioning could be something to help treat the sadness. And that has been seen before where a person's depression is treated by the transition. It's not a sure thing though if there are other issues as well. So I think I get what Paula is saying too =) we all have different paths and there are few things that are black and white. Well, I may be wrong, but that's just how I see it. ^^
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I think you are beautiful... we can all be very envious of your look.
Cristal ? ( sorry I do not know your name ? ) Happiness is a relative term. Success is a relative term. I have never met you, you do not know me, you are talking bollocks.
You are fully aware ( I hope !) of the pain and self loathing we have all felt.
To be alive is all I need. To feel; even the sadness of life, is better than killing one's self. I am me, I am complete for the first time in my life. I am HAPPY. Not your " happy " my " happy " .
Peace.
Paula ;D
Quote from: paula lesley on September 08, 2015, 05:49:47 AM
Cristal ? ( sorry I do not know your name ? ) Happiness is a relative term. Success is a relative term. I have never met you, you do not know me, you are talking bollocks.
You are fully aware ( I hope !) of the pain and self loathing we have all felt.
To be alive is all I need. To feel; even the sadness of life, is better than killing one's self. I am me, I am complete for the first time in my life. I am HAPPY. Not your " happy " my " happy " .
Peace
Paula ;D
Being happy of transitioning is one thing, but what about after doing it? What happiness will you experience once your transition is done???
So you see transition is not happiness it's just a transitory period of your life to "cure" gender dysphoria
Same goes with being a man or a woman, being this or that doesn't imply happiness on a the scale of a entire life.
Being happy to be yourself is one thing, but will NOT insure your well being on a everyday basis. Which women will you be? What job will you do ? Will you be able to be in a relationship, knowing that most cisgender people don't want to date trans women (especially if they have vaginoplasty)? What will be your future as a human being ?
I've experienced every single thing you've mentioned, ever since my childhood, but it's not because I've experienced that, that I want to play the victimisation card and not being clever on what are the best ways to remain sane and most importantly LUCID and what was my situation.
My transition is 13 years behind me, I know stuff by experience and again confirmed so many times by others women with a trans past.
Apparently you can't take the thing I'm saying TO YOU, the necessary warnings needed to be said, to make you think, I don't give a rat's ass to "be right" I just know I'm and I was offering my knowledge.
PS: my full transition only lasted 17 months
YOU MAKE YOUR OWN HAPPINESS !
( I did type lots but I fear it was pointless)
Quote from: Cristal Lecter on September 04, 2015, 08:43:12 AM
Hi girls
13 years post transition, I'm still very insecure (even if I hide it well most of the time)
Please can you tell me what you think of me, based on these few photos and selfies? Thank you ;)
And if you can rank me: 1) Ugly 2) Average 3) Pretty 4) Beautiful
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Very beautiful
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You are absolutely gorgeous ;)
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I give you a 4!
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On the happy thing... I did mine to be happy. Yes. But I also had the "macro view." I knew I had to make money so I finished my engineering degree and went to graduate school. I made sure I could pass well enough to get a job in my chosen career. That was a big deal in the late 80's. it isn't so much now. I made sure I could provide for my children. I had no clue how I'd live on what was left over, but I managed.
I think that planning your future is the key thing. We all know that plans always change but at least if you have a plan to pursue, you at least have direction and motivation to be successful. I believe that is true across the board for all people, not just us.
And Cristal, I still think you are lovely. You look happy too. ;)
Cindi
Your not ugly at all, in fact you are quite attractive. There is a women who volunteers at my shop, you almost look the spitting image of her :P
Quote from: Skylar1992 on September 10, 2015, 03:15:58 PM
Your not ugly at all, in fact you are quite attractive. There is a women who volunteers at my shop, you almost look the spitting image of her :P
Thank you I wish I can see a photo of that woman
I don't think that would be possible sorry :P
I will post, finally.
Yes you are a very attractive woman. There is no doubt of your successful physical transition. But happiness?
That is a different matter. Transitioning into your affirmed gender may not bring happiness, as seen in the self harm and suicide rates for post op females; they are only slightly lower than pre ops.
In may case, and please this is not preaching, I changed my life interests, I got help for and identified issues in life that made me unhappy. I changed my life to eradicate those issues, some were successful, some not. But I decided that transitioning was not the be all of my happiness, I needed a different transitioning to become me. Not the physical me but the person I wanted to be.
It was much harder to do that than accomplishing my physical changes.
Yes I carried a sack full of PTSD that needed to be dealt with, but dealing with that was not enough, I needed to immerse myself into being me; ruthlessly eradicating a past life and rebuilding myself.
I can say that I no longer recognise my past self. We have no similar interests and do not mingle in the same societal areas. There is nothing in common with him and me, even in common areas such as employment - I am a different person, I approach everything in a different manner to him.
I certainly don't recommend my approach to all, but it has worked for me.
I hope you find your happiness. It took me a long time and much effort but was worth it.
Cindy
You look great
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Me today, no make up
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Quote from: Cristal Lecter on September 11, 2015, 08:46:17 AM
Me today, no make up
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Is a lovely pic - as is also the very first pic you posted. You look to have a gorgeous figure as well :P
thank you Kelly, thank you guys
Absolutely stunningly beautiful!
I cannot find other words to express my love.
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Serious girl you look amazing you have nothing to fear xxoo
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You are LOVELY!
You look beautiful. first thing i thought when i saw you pics was i reconize that face. then i realized you look a lot like Patricia Arquette. Which is no bad thing. :)
Thank you very very much for your compliments girls
I understand the need for affirmation. We all struggle with doubts in our lives. Did I do the right thing in purchasing that particular car? Do these clothes really suit me? etc. We all need assurance. Based upon the photos you have shared, I think you can set aside your doubts. You have achieved what you set out to accomplish. Doubt not!
Sorry to join the party late on this one but i'm busy at the weekends. I gotta say you look great. I have a long way to go to get even close to you.
Sophie
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me today