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Community Conversation => Transsexual talk => Male to female transsexual talk (MTF) => Topic started by: stephaniec on September 04, 2015, 12:36:47 PM

Title: what % of your dysphoria would you say is managed by estrogen alone
Post by: stephaniec on September 04, 2015, 12:36:47 PM
Estrogen for me is a miracle drug. I think my body craved it since birth and I suffered from not having the proper amt. Transitioning is a total package, Presenting in the proper clothes and hair style etc. Just  curious as to how much your dysphoria do you consider to be directly related to its absence in the brain and how much is do to proper presentation excluding the physical changes your anatomy goes through, such as the clothes you wear and feminine hair styles mannerisms etc. I think I'm around a 60-40 ratio, but having breasts seems to make a big difference so if I add the breasts it would probably be like 75-25 for estrogen.
Title: Re: what % f your dysphoria would you say is managed by estrogen alone
Post by: suzifrommd on September 04, 2015, 12:50:01 PM
Nothing. Estrogen gave me breasts (which I had before if I stuck breast forms in my bra) and helped with my passability. But in order to be comfortable with myself, I needed to BE a woman, and be seen as one. HRT did not do that for me.
Title: Re: what % f your dysphoria would you say is managed by estrogen alone
Post by: stephaniec on September 04, 2015, 12:56:40 PM
I guess I'm affected by it differently. It feels like a missing body part that regrew.
Title: Re: what % of your dysphoria would you say is managed by estrogen alone
Post by: Mariah on September 04, 2015, 01:44:45 PM
Suzi said it best for me. It helped with passability in the end, but being a woman is what handled the the dysphoria except for the genital dysphoria which only SRS can deal with. Hugs
Mariah
Title: Re: what % of your dysphoria would you say is managed by estrogen alone
Post by: Carrie Liz on September 04, 2015, 02:00:25 PM
I'd say that being on HRT killed about 35% of my dysphoria. My mind no longer fought against itself constantly, my sex-drive is now something that I actually enjoy for the first time in my life because it feels right, my emotions actually felt right, I finally wasn't constantly fighting against body hair or a lack of a shape in the mirror, and that was a significant part of what made me feel so hopeless and depressed.

With that said, though, it definitely wasn't enough for me. I needed to BE female, not just a man on female hormones. There was a long time where I was on hormones but not legally transitioned, like nearly a year and a half. I had some of my worst breakdowns during that period because I felt like I was still never going to make it to social recognition, and it still killed me every time I was called "he" and treated with that standoffish male attitude, or looked in the mirror and saw a man because even though I had boobs and smooth skin, nobody seemed to notice them because my hair was still short, they just assumed I was an effeminate gay man.

Social transition killed about another 35%, and then the last 30% is still waiting for surgery, with possibly 10% or so of that amount being incurable due to never being able to completely erase the male puberty I went through, but I'm not sure, many people say their dysphoria ended at surgery, so it's possible that it's not.
Title: Re: what % of your dysphoria would you say is managed by estrogen alone
Post by: Jade_404 on September 04, 2015, 02:04:48 PM
I have been on the E for 3+ weeks now, but no blockers. Dr says it is a low dose. I feel very good and some of the dysphoria has been fading (perhaps my brain needed E since I was little too). I also notice that I am MORE dysphoric about my facial hair than I was before. It is really bothering me, especially when it is prickly. I am hating it so much. It is not a visual issue either, it is light colored and I don't have much of a beard shadow, it is the feeling when i touch my face... it is like a shock.. like "this is WRONG, feels so wrong and disgusting!"

I do plan to get it removed for good with electrolysis but my appointments are not till October, so I guess I got to tough it out.

So I would say that I think the E helped 75% but then my face hair and huge adams apple push it back up... so 20% of the dysphoria is managed by the E right now... and I know I need to be on E way longer for the full effects.

hugs,
Jade
Title: Re: what % of your dysphoria would you say is managed by estrogen alone
Post by: ashley_thomas on September 04, 2015, 02:09:51 PM
40% with mental changes, 40% with social transition (clothing, laser, body changes, etc), both that high bc I'm accepted as female now with little question.  The remainder for surgery or not to be cured if I don't.  80% is pretty freaking good IMO.


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Title: Re: what % f your dysphoria would you say is managed by estrogen alone
Post by: Emjay on September 04, 2015, 05:25:21 PM
Quote from: suzifrommd on September 04, 2015, 12:50:01 PM
Nothing. Estrogen gave me breasts (which I had before if I stuck breast forms in my bra) and helped with my passability. But in order to be comfortable with myself, I needed to BE a woman, and be seen as one. HRT did not do that for me.

I think I'm pretty close to this.  I can't say it didn't do *anything* because it did, but it's not everything or even most of it.

Being stuck in halfway-land because of work, which thankfully will be ending soon.  I can tell a glaring difference in how I feel at home and in my personal life versus being at work.  I need to *be*.

Title: Re: what % of your dysphoria would you say is managed by estrogen alone
Post by: .Christy on September 04, 2015, 06:47:40 PM
90%
Title: Re: what % of your dysphoria would you say is managed by estrogen alone
Post by: Lady_Oracle on September 04, 2015, 07:04:11 PM
50%-90% just depends on how I look at it. I don't really count the social aspect since it's thanks to hrt that I pass, the social part just fell into place. Surgery will fix that last 50%.
Title: Re: what % of your dysphoria would you say is managed by estrogen alone
Post by: Dena on September 04, 2015, 07:06:43 PM
I was on estrogen about 5 years before I had surgery and while I liked what little it did to my body, it really didn't help me feel better about myself over the long run. Moving into the female role is what made the difference and I eliminate the uncomfortable feeling before surgery by living as a woman.
Title: Re: what % of your dysphoria would you say is managed by estrogen alone
Post by: Stevie on September 04, 2015, 08:20:13 PM
 I transitioned socially almost a year before I started HRT, not because I needed RLE I had just reached the point where I had to do it to survive. The social transition took about half of it away, being accepted as a woman by the other women at work has helped as well. I've only been on HRT since the end of June seeing some physical changes all ready, mentally all I can say is I love it, dysphoria is not gone but so much improved so about another 25% for HRT. 
Title: Re: what % of your dysphoria would you say is managed by estrogen alone
Post by: 23 Skidoo on September 04, 2015, 09:52:15 PM
A very good deal of it
Title: Re: what % of your dysphoria would you say is managed by estrogen alone
Post by: Joelene9 on September 05, 2015, 01:18:55 AM
  More than 60%. It is hard to put a percentage on this as there are other things I like to do such as RLE or full-time. My recent health problems and finances are holding me back. It has helped me quite a bit in holding back the dysphoria the past 4 1/2 years as well as keeping my PSA levels down.

Joelene
Title: Re: what % of your dysphoria would you say is managed by estrogen alone
Post by: Alexi90 on September 05, 2015, 01:22:16 AM
I'm on a very lose dosage two weeks in so, I can't really feel anything but the blockers make me sleep so much better, I'm much calmer I don't get panic attacks anymore.
Title: Re: what % of your dysphoria would you say is managed by estrogen alone
Post by: judithlynn on September 05, 2015, 03:21:22 AM
Oestrogen only - probably 50-60% (although occasionally I get bouts when my body craves more dosage!. Dressing as female and looking nice especially when in a skirt or dress with well coordinated clothing and make up probably another 20% and being treated as a woman by others but especially men another 20&.
Judith
Title: Re: what % of your dysphoria would you say is managed by estrogen alone
Post by: Rejennyrated on September 05, 2015, 04:04:22 AM
Nil!

Actually without SRS it made it worse so really I might say MINUS 100% - because as my body became more at odds with my genitals I started to loath what I was. I don't want to offend anyone because I fully understand that some people are happy to be that mixture, but for me it was a stomach churning and disturbing contradictory state which felt far worse than being entirely the wrong sex.

Once I had SRS then I was grateful for the work that the HRT had done and the balance shifted to 50/50. So I suppose for me the order of application was completely wrong. By preference I would have had SRS first and HRT after that.
Title: Re: what % of your dysphoria would you say is managed by estrogen alone
Post by: Zoetrope on September 05, 2015, 04:34:29 AM
No, HRT did not fix my GD, but it was an important catalyst.

HRT and transition have helped me to be truthful about my gender identity, and to deal with all the surrounding issues. One by one. Yes, going on HRT made me feel wonderful and brand new. But I still had plenty of work to do.

So, my GD has been almost completely resolved by psychological means. What HRT has done, is allow me to feel 'right enough', to meet those challenges.
Title: Re: what % of your dysphoria would you say is managed by estrogen alone
Post by: allisonsteph on September 05, 2015, 06:55:17 AM
It's hard to give a specific percentage. I socially transitioned and changed my name legally before I began HRT. Aside from the physical changes, I think that estrogen has helped my emotional health. My body's chemical and hormonal balance was out of whack, and the E helped adjust if for me. I can feel now after feeling dead inside since my first puberty over 30 years ago. Adjusting to experiencing a wide range of emotions has been a difficult learning process but so worth it.
Title: Re: what % of your dysphoria would you say is managed by estrogen alone
Post by: on September 05, 2015, 06:59:33 AM
TLDR = 90% in terms of dysphoria and the crushing feeling of being a guy, but like 33% in terms of actually living life as a girl and swimming through the sea of transition.



Long answer incoming:

The key words in the question are dysphoria, managed, and estrogen alone.

My whole issue in my life, even as a kid, was this itch to be female.  I don't know why and never will know why.  I do know the when (age 4) and I knew the how of how to fix it (E), again, even as a kid.  My mom's supplement pills for women were stolen a number of times because I felt that that would contain hormones to make everything right...I was like 10 years old then!  So I believe that dysphoria has different definitions/descriptions for different folks.  My dysphoria is pretty damn simple:  Incongruent mind/body.  My mind wanted to be 1) expressive with nail polish, makeup, jewelry, feminine attire 2) to be able to be free in my thoughts and opinions of the world without just being labeled a gay male 3) to be comfortable in society with the physical things I needed to have:  hairless body, small frame, long hair, boobies... but my body was sooo masculine and I looked/felt like a weirdo whenever I dressed.  So it was this horrible, horrible feeling in my head of these contradictory polarities butting heads --> serenity of expressing my femininity but the reality of being a dude and it all be wrong.  THIS IS DYSHPORIA!!!  That's how I describe it anyway.  So having E in me has changed me not only mentally but physically and it is through this change that that feeling has been 90% managed by E alone... the other 10% is my plumbing hehe.  Like, that's pretty much the only time I feel that incongruence still... besides being pre-op my dysphoria has been nullified, so that's the good news!

The 33% number I came up with in terms of transition, though, is mainly due to the fact that I didn't realize how much of living as a girl full-time (from living as a guy) is a mental process.  That is NOT to say that "passing is mostly attitude!"  That's a bunch of crap in my opinion.  I'm not really talking about passing though, just what is needed to transition well, mentally.  What I mean is that self acceptance, will power, courage, dedication, patience... all of those things I don't believe E alone manages, but they need to be tackled and mastered during transition.  That's what I didn't see coming early in my transition...the mental hurdles that lay ahead which had nothing to do with my physical body.