So. Today I was at my best friends house helping her pick grapes. After we were done, her husband and father in law came home. We were all outside talking and my friend's husband, his dad and another guy were all talking about hunting and stuff. My friend went into the house with the kids and I followed her. When we went into the house, I told her that I had zero interest in the whole hunting thing at all. She turns to me and says "You're not supposed to." I was a lil thrown by her comment because I have never told her about feeling as a girl on the inside or anything else.
I was thinking to my self "Wow. Is it that obvious?" In a way I felt complimented and yet very sad because I feel so trapped within my self.
I know I am stuck with what I am on the outside, because to me, it's not realistic to try and be female outside as well as inside. I know I could never pull it off. I also don't think I would be well accepted either. :0/ So I have just learned to be the 2 different people that I am...
There is always hope, anyone can change.
on the subject at hand though, its amazing how much people especially women can pick up about things like this. when I came out half the women I knew said something like "ya I kinda suspected something like that" or "I though you where gay or something". Then again I never tried very hard..or at all to be male so it was not like a rock solid costume.
Serena
About the only typical "guy stuff" I've ever been into is car repairs and driving. If you do a lot of road rallies the two tend to be synergistic. Every woman I've known noticed that about me as I wonder off to spend time with the girls rather then hearing wannabe of has been sports heroes talk about football or whatever, or worse, scream and yell at the television.
As I have come out to people, they all have said something along the lines of "that makes sense." I think that no matter how hard we try to hide our real selves, those close to us will always see through the disguise. :)
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"I know I could never pull it off. I also don't think I would be well accepted either. :0"
I thought no-one would understand or accept me...I have been more than a little surprised. I feel quite humbled by it. I feel the same way about myself and not being able to pass...but I guess I am not overly concerned at the moment about that because if I don't transition in some form within the next 12 months then I doubt I will be able to make make it through another year.
I did have a professional make over and as a result of that I could see a potential woman there and I am over 50, my understanding is that Passing is as much about confidence mannerisms etc etc as it is looks.
Don't be so hard on yourself...it is what is inside you that matters and what you will have to answer too if you remain in a Dysphoric state. How will you cope feeling the way you do. However if you feel transition is not for you then you are the best judge of that. I wish you luck and hope you get some peace
Sarah T
Quote from: JessieA on September 14, 2015, 07:20:54 AM
As I have come out to people, they all have said something along the lines of "that makes sense." I think that no matter how hard we try to hide our real selves, those close to us will always see through the disguise. :)
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Lol same here. "Yeah, and?" was the typical reaction from women to me.
Yeah, my mom was pretty much like, 'yeah I figured' both when I told her I was pansexual and that I was trigender. Like, it's pretty obvious to those who know you well enough, it seems. TTwTT
It is true that it's what's inside that matters. I am happy with who I am on the inside. On the outside, not so much. Body wise I could pass for female cuz I am small boned (even for a girl). I am 5' 6" and weigh 137lbs. My waist size is 29. I recently started shaving my belly and LOVE it. Lol I am growing my hair out and love the fact that I can put it up. I have a hair straightener, but not too good at using it yet. When it gets a little longer, I am going to have it straightened, dyed and dead ends trimmed. My face and voice; uh noooo. Lol
Women will read you faster than men. When women smile at me, I smile back. It's something someone shared with me. No one would have ever guessed that was trans when I came out. Still have a few people I need to come out to.
:)