Hello everyone!!
I am Clare and I am the new girl on the block. ;D
I have always felt somewhat different as a child but could never put a name to it or why. I wasn't good at the sporting games my male friends played and often wasn't allowed to participate. The girls on the other hand were always glad to accept another to play "house" with or turn a skipping rope. :)
My play group was fluid though. If the boys were playing hide and seek or the like, everyone, including the girls could join in and nothing was said about playing with the girls yesterday, but I preferred the company of females.
As I grew up, I still felt that nagging doubt about the way I felt. I did various jobs and became a soldier for a little over 12 years and upon my release, became a correctional officer in a maximum security facility for 32 years until I took an early retirement.
The reason I retired early was because I had discovered that I was transgender and being trans in a place like that was beyond my ability to adapt. Not exactly the safest place to come out in!!!
My superintendent knew and was supportive and it's funny, but the people closest to me whom I told were not surprised at all! They had suspected but didn't want to say or ask anything in case they were wrong and when I was ready, I'd tell them.
I started living as a woman late 2013 and in 2014, changed as many genetic markers as possible and also my legal name and had BA surgery. I had a tracheal shave in April 2015 and the GCS in June 2015. Dr. Christine McGinn did my GCS in Bristol and she is a truly fabulous surgeon and person.
I financed everything myself because to go through the hoops here in Canada is almost impossible. It's at least a 2 year waiting list just to be seen and then jump through the hoops to be approved and IF approved for GCS, added to yet another long waiting list as there is currently only 2 surgeons in all of Canada who are qualified to do the surgery!
I enjoy being a woman. It what was missing from my life all those years and I am finally happy inside. At nearly 6 feet, I get quite a few looks from people but it doesn't matter to me. I am who I am just as they are who they are.
I live in a small town so there isn't exactly a lot of people like me here, in fact I have yet to meet another of my sisters here so I may be an "only child" so to speak.
Of course there is lots more to say but I think it's enough for the time being. It's not easy being trans as many of you know but like many of us, I could not see myself going back to my old identity and life. Before I transitioned it was like the story of Dr. Jeckyll and Mr. Hyde. I had 2 separate identities trying to co-exist inside and it wasn't going to work. My feminine side was becoming much more dominant and harder to repress.
Giving in and finally living like I was supposed to and being me is so much easier in many ways and best of all, I'm not depressed any more!
Thank you for allowing me to write a little about myself, hope I didn't bore you.
Take care and all the best to you all.
Love,
Clare
Hello and welcome :)
Take part... look around... ask questions...
and there is also a chat...
hugs
Clare,
Wow. Well done. Welcome.
Looks like you have gone through a lot of the trials many of us are still experiencing. This is a really supportive site. If you have questions(looks like very few) don't be afraid to ask. I imagine a moderator will post soon with some good starter links and info.
With warmth,
Joanna
Hi Clare :icon_wave:
Welcome to Susan's :) Glad to have you here, join on in the fun
Here's a few quick links to help you along
Please be sure to review
Things that you should read
Site Terms of Service & Rules to Live By (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,2.0.html) | Standard Terms & Definitions (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,54369.0.html) | Post Ranks (including when you can upload an avatar) (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,114.0.html.) |
Reputation rules (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,18960.0.html) | News posting & quoting guidelines (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,174951.0.html) | Photo, avatars, & signature images policy (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,59974.msg383866.html#msg383866) |
Hugs
V M
Welcome Clare!
Just in case you haven't heard of her, trans woman Mandi Camille Hauwert worked as a corrections officer as well, and transitioned on the job (I believe in San Quentin). You're bio just really reminded me of her. Also, great name! My middle name is Claire [emoji6]
Hugs,
- Katie
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
Welcome CLare,
You have really accomplished a very amazing amount. My sister works with a great many folks from your area and doing medical scheduling that they cannot get locally. You definatly have the "Right Stuff" to get all the progress you have there. Congrats.
welcome again
Welcome to Susan's.
Warm welcome to Susan's Clare
Similar story to me from a child, same fit etc... I went into IT... but like you running 2 lives, a wife, 3 kids etc... and now Grandkids.
So happy for you that you are living as you were always meant to.. Yay and definitely you did not bore, loved your intro xx
Really look forward to seeing you around the forum's
L Katy :-*
Thank you all for the warm welcome. It's nice to be here.
Love,
Clare
Welcome to the bunch, Clare. I guess you & I had somethings in common. I too felt more comfortable around girls. I guess dating girls was just a façade. After I graduated from HS & lived on my own, I would buy girls clothes at 2nd hand stores, get home, take a bubble bath, body shave & wear the girls clothes at home. I never went out 'en femme' Its weird but I felt more at ease wearing girls clothes, even tho I was alone at home. I met Vikki, my GF/mentor a few years ago. Events had me move in w/ her. After 4-6 months I decided to take 'Bridget' my alter ego out for a test drive. Things worked out ok. I didn't talk to anyone. After 6 weeks I decided to tell Vikki about Bridget. It took her a few weeks but she accepted me. She even asked if I wanted to be a guy who CD or did I want to become a girl? Threw me for a loop! I told her a girl. She checked at her work, a medical research lab's TS/TG section. I was tested & went thru the steps & will be a full girl by Apr 16. It hasn't been fun but I do have support. I did bump into an ex coworker. She was surprised but said that I looked happier now as a girl. Good luck in your endeavors!
Thank you Bridget;
I always have liked girls and still do.
I was in love with a nice woman but since I transitioned all of our long term plans and futures were shelved and she is my best friend now. She says she fell in love with a man, not a woman and cannot romantically adjust to me being a woman. As she says, "I am not a lesbian." At least she is still supportive which is great because it's nice to have someone in your corner to watch your back.
I also did a number of things that you did and I felt more at ease as my alter ego, Clare. Since transitioning, my life has gotten better in many ways yet it's hard when one realizes that there is a good chance I'll be alone for the rest of my days but who knows, maybe my Miss Right is just around the corner?
Thank you for your thoughts.l.
Love,
Clare
Hi Clare,
A big Aussie welcome to Susan's family. It's good of you to drop in and say "Hi". Hope you like it here, and you stay for a while.
There is a mountain of information, resources and friendship waiting for you here, you just need to jump in start talking and ask any question you like. You're quite safe here and we are very accepting.
Your story resonants with many family members here. It is just soooo normal. Glad you've made it this far.
Looking forward to hearing more of your story in time to come, but in the meantime, be safe, well and happy.
Speak to you as soon as I finish the ironing.
Lotsa huggs
Catherine