Susan's Place Transgender Resources

Community Conversation => Transgender talk => Topic started by: LizK on September 15, 2015, 12:14:29 AM

Title: Sugestions, Help, Advice on dealing with nightmares.....Please
Post by: LizK on September 15, 2015, 12:14:29 AM
i was hoping someone may be able to give me some practical advice. I am currently away from home and in NZ to see my parents. i have always suffered nightmares but of late they have ramped up in their intensity. since i have been here (7 nights) i have had these nightmares every night and last night I through myself out of bed and was of course badly shaken. the other night I had two lots...consequently inhave not slept much.

last night freightened everyone in the house. Has anyone got any suggestions or home remedies to help prevent these nightmares even in the short term, or stratergies for dealing with them

A very tired

Sarah T
Title: Re: Sugestions, Help, Advice on dealing with nightmares.....Please
Post by: Mariah on September 15, 2015, 12:39:05 AM
It might be best to find out what is triggering the nightmares and get that issue taken care of. The fact they ramped up since being back at your parents place may give you a clue as to what is going on. I know you haven't shared this, but are they about anything or anyone in particular. Sorry that your suffering with nightmares though. Big Hugs
Mariah
Title: Re: Sugestions, Help, Advice on dealing with nightmares.....Please
Post by: Qrachel on September 15, 2015, 01:20:55 AM
I'm not sure how long you'll be out of country, but I'd suggest possibly a psychiatrist for some possible meds to help you through the trip.

Rachel
Title: Re: Sugestions, Help, Advice on dealing with nightmares.....Please
Post by: Dena on September 15, 2015, 01:33:11 AM
This is going to sound a little strange but try something like reading a book. You want a calm activity so you will be able to fall asleep but something that will put other thoughts in your mind just before you go to sleep. It would be best to read in bed until your eyes get heavy then turn out the light and go to sleep. Long term you should talk with your therapist because it sounds like you have an issue that is really troubling you and it needs to be addressed.
Title: Re: Sugestions, Help, Advice on dealing with nightmares.....Please
Post by: LizK on September 15, 2015, 01:58:38 AM
thanks for the quick replies...nightmares , always roughly same thing.......trapped, needing to escape, under physical threat, loved ones under physical threat, feelings of being confined, extreme violence about to be perpetrated against me or my loved ones....left with feelings of lonelyness, desolation....

Hopefully when i am home in about 4 days will be able to get back to looking after my own needs. i was an idiot and didnt think i needed to take my perfume, knickers,etc etc....thought i could manage...I think it is a combination of things...my stupidity, stress of coming out, new city, new bed, and not doing the things i have been doing for myself over the last few months.

thanks for the suggestions

Sarah T
Title: Re: Sugestions, Help, Advice on dealing with nightmares.....Please
Post by: Ms Grace on September 15, 2015, 05:00:26 AM
It would seem those nightmares are essentially playing out what is weighing on your subconscious (and possibly conscious) mind. Would you say that they are reflective of real fears you might have? Dealing with dreams and unsettling nightmares is about coming to terms with the messages they contain. Sometimes those messages are obtuse but in your case they seem extremely clear. How would you like to deal with those fears in the real world? Take some time to be by yourself - visualise yourself in the nightmare and then, without fear, confidently and powerfully deal with the dream scenario in the same way.
Title: Re: Sugestions, Help, Advice on dealing with nightmares.....Please
Post by: Laura_7 on September 15, 2015, 06:51:52 AM
You could:
-try to move the bed to a different place. Some people are sensitive.
-try to keep electrical appliances 2m away from the bed. Also because of sensitivity.
-avoid disturbing pics 1hr before going to bed, from tv...
-use old recipes like warm milk with some honey (unless allergic).
-scent is also a good idea. Maybe a slice from a lemon or orange.
-Try to visualize yourself being in a safe place before going to sleep.
-as Ms Grace said you might try to confront your fear (if its not too frightening)... you might even talk to them, or tell them to go away...
maybe sending them love...
Title: Re: Sugestions, Help, Advice on dealing with nightmares.....Please
Post by: LizK on September 15, 2015, 12:41:30 PM
Thank you all so much for the suggestions....I managed 4 hrs last night which is nearly normal for me. I  will be giving the rest of the advice a go tonight. Last nite I tried, hot milk drink, reading, visualisatios...not sure which one worked and I dont really care.

The nightmares themselves I think they are a reflection of how badly "Sarah" needs to be able to come out.  She is really making some racket now...I am seeing a therapist and the last people i need to come out to are my kids...will be doing that soon....next few days when we return.

Thanks for that list Laura....gives me a few more choices to work with.

Sarah T
Title: Re: Sugestions, Help, Advice on dealing with nightmares.....Please
Post by: Tessa James on September 15, 2015, 01:41:06 PM
Sarah i worked with people and sleep disorders for some time.  One non medical way to approach this is with directed dreaming concepts.  If we can become aware, while we are dreaming, that "this is a dream" therefore I can make anything happen.  It is all in my mind.  Some simple things i have done is once even marginally aware that this is a "bad" dream I start to float and then fly.  I fly above the hassle and get free of the fear.

It takes practice but nightmares can be highly motivating eh?
Title: Re: Sugestions, Help, Advice on dealing with nightmares.....Please
Post by: LizK on September 15, 2015, 02:20:28 PM
Quote from: Tessa James on September 15, 2015, 01:41:06 PM
Sarah i worked with people and sleep disorders for some time.  One non medical way to approach this is with directed dreaming concepts.  If we can become aware, while we are dreaming, that "this is a dream" therefore I can make anything happen.  It is all in my mind.  Some simple things i have done is once even marginally aware that this is a "bad" dream I start to float and then fly.  I fly above the hassle and get free of the fear.

It takes practice but nightmares can be highly motivating eh?


Sounds very interesting, how do you actually go about doing it though. i agree with you...nightmares can be great motivators...I think mine are about my fears of hurting those I love when I transition, and the internal struggle I am having over it all.

Sarah T
Title: Re: Sugestions, Help, Advice on dealing with nightmares.....Please
Post by: Tessa James on September 15, 2015, 03:25:59 PM
The key is that kernel of awareness that "i am in a dream" and i can have super or simple powers to act.  It does take practice.  I used to have those falling nightmares and if i could be aware "I'm dreaming" I would imagine I have a paraglidder and fly.  Eventually I would just fly without the prop.  Simple steps within directed dreaming are easiest to do for most of us.  You crawl into the sack and can practice a slow count down from 10 to 0 as your take slow deep breaths and imagine a colorful exhalation.  Then picture yourself in a place or action that can remove you or take you to a safe place, away from....it all.  For me floating above it all works and i can even find myself in a happy dream sometimes.

Sweet dreams!
Title: Re: Sugestions, Help, Advice on dealing with nightmares.....Please
Post by: ScarletRed on September 15, 2015, 05:06:57 PM
Sometimes I find that if I eat something before I go to sleep it contributes to the likelihood of me having a nightmare. I usually try to avoid any food 2hrs before bedtime. I don't know if this will help, but I hope your nightmares go away.

Sincerely
ScarletRed
Title: Re: Sugestions, Help, Advice on dealing with nightmares.....Please
Post by: LizK on September 15, 2015, 05:10:02 PM
Quote from: ScarletRed on September 15, 2015, 05:06:57 PM
Sometimes I find that if I eat something before I go to sleep it contributes to the likelihood of me having a nightmare. I usually try to avoid any food 2hrs before bedtime. I don't know if this will help, but I hope your nightmares go away.

Sincerely
ScarletRed

Thanks for the suggestion Scarlet. I hope they stop too.
Title: Re: Sugestions, Help, Advice on dealing with nightmares.....Please
Post by: LizK on September 15, 2015, 05:13:31 PM
Quote from: Tessa James on September 15, 2015, 03:25:59 PM
The key is that kernel of awareness that "i am in a dream" and i can have super or simple powers to act.  It does take practice.  I used to have those falling nightmares and if i could be aware "I'm dreaming" I would imagine I have a paraglidder and fly.  Eventually I would just fly without the prop.  Simple steps within directed dreaming are easiest to do for most of us.  You crawl into the sack and can practice a slow count down from 10 to 0 as your take slow deep breaths and imagine a colorful exhalation.  Then picture yourself in a place or action that can remove you or take you to a safe place, away from....it all.  For me floating above it all works and i can even find myself in a happy dream sometimes.

Sweet dreams!


Thanks will give this a go tonight hopefully
Title: Re: Sugestions, Help, Advice on dealing with nightmares.....Please
Post by: Laura_7 on September 15, 2015, 05:14:23 PM
Quote from: ScarletRed on September 15, 2015, 05:06:57 PM
Sometimes I find that if I eat something before I go to sleep it contributes to the likelihood of me having a nightmare. I usually try to avoid any food 2hrs before bedtime. I don't know if this will help, but I hope your nightmares go away.

Sincerely
ScarletRed

Yes, this might also contribute... not eating heavy two hours before going to sleep...

on the other hand a light snack half an hour before sleeping might help... some cereal for example...
its possible blood sugar is low, and a light snack of the right materials might help keep it even through the night...

Title: Re: Sugestions, Help, Advice on dealing with nightmares.....Please
Post by: ScarletRed on September 15, 2015, 06:10:08 PM
That's an excellent point low blood sugar can lead too all sorts of problems I'm glad you added that[emoji3]


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