Susan's Place Transgender Resources

Activism and Politics => Discrimination => Topic started by: MyNameIsElla on September 15, 2015, 09:21:59 AM

Title: Transphobic people make me feel panicky
Post by: MyNameIsElla on September 15, 2015, 09:21:59 AM
I don't know why but these people trigger my fight or flight reflex can someone give me some positive ways to deal with these people please.
Title: Re: Transphobic people make me feel panicky
Post by: suzifrommd on September 15, 2015, 09:49:15 AM
Quote from: MyNameIsElla on September 15, 2015, 09:21:59 AM
I don't know why but these people trigger my fight or flight reflex can someone give me some positive ways to deal with these people please.

I understand your panic. Hate is scary.

I treat an encounter with a transphobic person as an opportunity to educate people. Here are some questions I like to ask:
* For those who claim "men are men and women are women" or some variation, I ask them how they can be so sure. How they know there aren't people whose brains are wired to be female?
* For those who object to transition, I ask them what they would expect someone who is tormented by dysphoria to do. I ask them what their "compassionate solution" is, especially if they claim they are Christian.
Title: Re: Transphobic people make me feel panicky
Post by: FTMax on September 15, 2015, 11:30:54 AM
Fear is a biological gift. You should not be trying to ignore it. If your body/mind is telling you to leave a situation, you should.

Do you need to interact with these people? Are they an integral part of your life that cannot be removed presently? I don't like to have people around that make me uncomfortable, and I've had a very easy transition partially because I'm willing to cut ties with just about anyone. It may mean the loss of a relationship, but it is a gain if it lessens your anxiety.
Title: Re: Transphobic people make me feel panicky
Post by: cathyrains on September 15, 2015, 08:42:19 PM
Quote from: MyNameIsElla on September 15, 2015, 09:21:59 AM
I don't know why but these people trigger my fight or flight reflex can someone give me some positive ways to deal with these people please.

It helps to be specific rather than using a general "transphobic" descriptor.
Identify exactly what is triggering you. Who are "these people"? What are they saying, how are they behaving?
Title: Re: Transphobic people make me feel panicky
Post by: Serenation on September 15, 2015, 09:32:19 PM
I find them every where online, but never in person. So I am sorry if people are confronting you in person. That sounds plenty reason enough to have an anxiety attack.
Title: Re: Transphobic people make me feel panicky
Post by: MyNameIsElla on September 16, 2015, 11:50:15 AM
I came out to a now ex friend of mine as transgender and her exact response was "Sorry not sorry your a man and you will always be a man and nothing you can do can change that" and i think what triggered my anxiety was the sort of set in stone, there's nothing you can do to change my opinion and I'm right and your always gonna be wrong feeling of her words that triggered me. I don't deal well with that sort of thing apparently and I had to walk away otherwise I was gonna start yelling at her.
Title: Re: Transphobic people make me feel panicky
Post by: FTMax on September 16, 2015, 11:57:07 AM
Exes of any variety are exes for a reason. I wouldn't waste your time being concerned with her thoughts or opinions on anything.