A member of this site from way back visited recently and declared the non-binary area quiet.
I agree, but I contend there are a lot of site members who are non-binary who just don't post much.
I invite anyone who considers themselves a non-binary member of Susan's Place to post here and be counted. If you'd like, you can tell us something about yourself we might not know.
I'm Suzi, who lived for 50 years obliviously as a man never dreaming I'd have gender issues. I now live full-time as a woman, but I don't really see myself as female, or not completely. My true gender is kind of a genderfluid mix of feeling female, male, agender, or something else entirely.
Quote from: suzifrommd on September 17, 2015, 08:14:08 PM
A member of this site from way back visited recently and declared the non-binary area quiet.
I agree, but I contend there are a lot of site members who are non-binary who just don't post much.
I invite anyone who considers themselves a non-binary member of Susan's Place to post here and be counted. If you'd like, you can tell us something about yourself we might not know.
I'm Suzi, who lived for 50 years obliviously as a man never dreaming I'd have gender issues. I now live full-time as a woman, but I don't really see myself as female, or not completely. My true gender is kind of a genderfluid mix of feeling female, male, agender, or something else entirely.
One.
I'm Devlyn, who lived for 50 years obliviously as a man never dreaming I'd have gender issues. I now live full-time as a woman, but I don't really see myself as female, or not completely. My true gender is kind of a genderfluid mix of feeling female, male, agender, or something else entirely.
Two. ;D
Hugs, Devlyn
I'm here! for a little bit anyway.
Can't remember my old handle. At one point I was a moderator and was living half my time on here - but I over stepped a line with sharing too much - and then the brother of my ex ferreted out my identity on here and it was a bit messy so I had my account deleted.
67 -- been closeted trans and aware on some level since about 4 yrs old.
We're entirely clear that we're cis-M, and not "stuck in the wrong body." We just WISH we were cis-F, the full-boat, menstruation, no androgen damage, etc.
But I'm not . . . and so "gender dysphoric" but learning to be more integrated, cohesive, less fractured in my ID. It gets political/philosophical.
Quote from: nicole99 on September 17, 2015, 10:22:31 PM
I'm here! for a little bit anyway.
Can't remember my old handle. At one point I was a moderator and was living half my time on here - but I over stepped a line with sharing too much - and then the brother of my ex ferreted out my identity on here and it was a bit messy so I had my account deleted.
When I came out, my friends told me, "There hasn't been a door on that closet for years!" Orientatation can be closeted. Gender is not an under-cover issue. Gender in intrinsic to who we are.
Hi, I transitioned as a TG woman 24 years ago, but recently had an epiphany where I completely embraced myself as intersex and a DES child. I'm happy with my femme name/real name and I don't mind being addressed in femme terms even though I don't see myself as being a binary human person.
I am a 37 year old AFAB and I am androgyne.
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
Sooo... I have always thought of myself as a transgender woman with tom-boyish tendencies. Even as I become more and more feminine I still enjoy many of the things I enjoyed in my old guy self. So, off I went to research non-binary topics - so very fascinating! That said, while I have more to learn, I still feel like am just a tom-boy. I love our endless diversity more every day.
Miril
Hi, all. I'm 22 and my gender lies somewhere on the slide from "agender" to "male," so I call myself non-binary and transmasculine.
I'm genderfluid, and hopefully in the future I'll be able to share my journey with you all, though every time I've tried to write this so far, I end up deleting the results - call me a perfectionist!
I'm 51, and don't identify as a woman, it's more an identity that's not male or female, but contains elements of each. With hindsight it's obvious that some (but not all) of my brain development occurred as female instead of male, and that's why I've never fitted in properly as a man. However, there's too much of me that's male for living as a woman to ever be an option, so I'm stuck in a kind of no man's land in the middle. I was trying to figure out what parts of my brain are female and what parts male, and I think my limbic system (and hence my subconscious mind) is largely female, whereas my cerebral cortex (the part that handles consciousness and abstract thought) is male.
I've got enough in common with the DES "babes" I've chatted to over the last couple of years to know I had some kind of exposure to synthetic hormones, which I think must have been during the second trimester only (so I had normal male hormone levels and male brain development during the third trimester of my prenatal development).
Quote from: HughE on September 18, 2015, 05:42:39 PM
I was trying to figure out what parts of my brain are female and what parts male, and I think my limbic system (and hence my subconscious mind) is largely female, whereas my cerebral cortex (the part that handles consciousness and abstract thought) is male.
I've never heard it boiled down into physiology like that. I have visions of line drawings of flayed people with arrows labelling things as male or female.
I think my parts are all human and that is about as far as I get. I think we have pretty much all the building blocks of the things people associate with male and female. But I find your perspective really interesting as a way of trying to understand yourself.
Hi - I'm 34, AMAB presenting male, fairly new here. Gender identity: I consider myself 30% male, 30% female and 40% whatever. However, since I was little I had a mild sense of body dysphoria about my bottom sexual characteristic that caused me decades of self-loathing. Once I realised what was wrong and that it could be fixed, the dysphoria rapidly developed into a burdensome preoccupation. Happy to continue to present male (even if I don't feel especially like a man), but would very much like to transition my bottom.
I am totally on-board with the diversely-segmented gendered brain idea. I believe that most of my brain is mildly male, but the parts of my brain that control my sex drive and connect to my genitalia are strongly female, and it has a devil of a time trying to figure out what it's supposed to do with the wrong bit of "hardware".
I do like the idea of body mind maps, and perhaps our brain holding a map for a body that I did not have. So the part dealing with my vulva and curves had to be jury rigged to make use of the body I did have. I likened it to phantom limb syndrome. It may be complete crap but it was a way of explaining my dysphoria to others and myself. I could feel the curves that should of been there and my penis was this foreign object that while fun was not mine.
Quote from: nicole99 on September 19, 2015, 06:37:15 AM
I've never heard it boiled down into physiology like that. I have visions of line drawings of flayed people with arrows labelling things as male or female.
Yes. I guess because being trans has, until fairly recently, been treated as a mental illness, people have tended not to think of it in terms of physical differences between male and female brain development.
In this paper:
http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3146061/?tool=pubmed
they discuss research in which male brain development was induced in female Rhesus monkeys, by injecting the pregnant mother with testosterone at various stages of her pregnancy. One of the the things the authors say in their Conclusions section is this:
QuoteThe timing of sensitivity to prenatal androgens varies for different behavioral endpoints. During gestation, the basic connections of the neural circuits that contribute to the expression of juvenile and adult behaviors are formed in a complex process that occurs over time. Sensitive periods for the development of different behaviors can be thought of in terms of the development of the underlying neural circuits (Knudsen, 2004). Perhaps instead of two 'neural primordia' (one for male-typical behaviors and one for female-typical behaviors), there are many neural circuits, each of which underlies an individual behavior and develops at a different time during gestation. The presence or absence of androgens may act to organize each of those circuits in a male-typical or female-typical direction independently of the others.
Basically what they're saying is that, in Rhesus monkeys (as in human beings), the important stuff as far as sexually dimorphic brain development is concerned takes place over quite a long period of time (several months), and from their research it appears that different regions of the brain undergo their critical development at various times throughout that period. If there's a comparatively short period of hormone disruption (say a few weeks), you can end up with a brain where some parts have developed as male and some parts as female. That's what appears to have happened to me.
Interesting - I have long referred to my female/male gender parts as "circuits". It's an apt analogy for what I experience.
I am 23, AFAB, and I am androgyne.
I'm now 61 and have set this aside, trying to push this away insisting this is all in my head. I'm not particularly concerned with the why. I've spent (and continue to spend) way too much time trying to figure this out like a puzzle. I'm trying now to pay more attention to how I feel about all this and what I need from this. Things for me move around A LOT. Sometimes I'm in tears really wanting to transition (MTF). Other times like today, things are on a low simmer and while not content, I'm not overwhelmed with this. I really don't think I've ever felt male. I think I slide around between some kind of androgynous state and a really crazy need to be something else. I think that if I felt like I could pass, I would transition and live on that side of the line and slide back and forth from there to the androgynous.
Dori.
Quote from: Lady Smith on September 17, 2015, 10:48:40 PM
Hi, I transitioned as a TG woman 24 years ago, but recently had an epiphany where I completely embraced myself as intersex and a DES child. I'm happy with my femme name/real name and I don't mind being addressed in femme terms even though I don't see myself as being a binary human person.
Hello, I am Aazhie & I am 31 this year...
I think I am in about the same space myself. I am transitioning FTM and much prefer male pronouns and have legally changed my name to a more masculine sounding one. That being said, I enjoy being a femme flirt and I'm not really needing to own the entirety of being male. I do enjoy my body as is, I am getting top surgery but think I be overall pretty happy with everything else. David Bowie's adrogynous persona always seemed cool and I think I am fine being ambiguous and pansexual. I prefer male or neutral terms, though for those who get confused I just tell them to use he/his/him because some people have to see me as a gender, not as the weirdo I am ;D Weird in the Gonzo from Muppets sense, not in a bad way!
I'm 21, afab and I'm new here. I am either multi gender or gender fluid but describe it as essentially just non binary
<:::::::<•>+<•>:::::::>
It's a bird!
I'm 29, and non-transitioning.
I was a very small child when I realized my gender wasn't what people told me it was. From the age of five, I was convinced I was "supposed" to be a girl, no matter what people called me. It's manifested as a life-long depressive disorder, of which I was diagnosed at eight.
Major depressive episodes of roughly year ago or so finally forced me to examine my gender issues rather than suppress them. More recently I've discovered "female" doesn't fit me any better than "male" does. I share qualities of both.
I've stopped caring about which it's supposed to be, and am more interested in just expressing me. I no longer have any interest in finding more words to describe (or reshape, to my mind) whatever that is.
*Puts hand up*
The doctor will refer me to a gender clinic where I want to talk to a gender counselor in order to work things out. My gender lies somewhere in-between but the dial can shift one way more (usually female). I don't want to transition to female but lose dose HRT is something I'd consider. But I'll have plenty of time to think about it.
I have thought for years that my mom was raped by a alien. I seem to fit into the cracks of this world. Nothing is a perfect fit for me. I am a man that can identify as a women. I wear femme clothing almost entirely. I think as both male and female. I have come to realize that i am not alone in this. I do believe i am a DES child. I am over 60 now and i can deal with what life has given me. I am who i am. I try to be a good human being, but really dont know what that means other than i believe in karma. Dont do to others what you dont want done to you. Ok world here i am. Take me as i am or leave me alone. Yes this has been a long strange trip, and as my ships nears my destination i am content.
I'm still around. Just have no time to really post or read much.
I login maybe once a week and keep my HRT thread maintained with a post every few months or so.
AMAB, living male, hormonally female-ish. Go figure. ;)
Hi I`m Teema,i spent most of my life trying to live up to what a "man" should be.And finding it very difficult.I`d never heard of androgynes until I took the cogiatti test,then suddenly things made sense.I realised I was after all a valid human being and not a failure.Being androgyne made me feel unique and special and I think we are.I`m male bodied,though I do work on my appearance to look more andro.I dress sometimes for fun at home but makeup is really too much faff for me,so even if i could i wouldn't want to transition,i`m happy as i am!
Hi, I'm Florian. I'm a 17 year old neutrois/gender-neutral person... I've felt like this for pretty much as long as I can remember but I only discovered the term 'non-binary' just over a year ago. Since then, it's been onwards and upwards, and I now have a better idea of who I am and I feel like I can love and accept myself!
Hi, I'm B. I don't know what to call myself. I don't dislike my given male name and have never suffered body dysporia. In fact I've always been glad to have a male body because the operation and maintenance just seems so much easier to me than a female one. What can I say, I'm lazy and selfish.
From a very early age I've been attracted to pretty things. I'm 49 now and for 44 years I ignored my urges to wear dresses, blouses and skirts, paint my nails, try makeup. I grew up in a world where boys didn't do that. It wasn't that my parents were bigots, far from it, I think they just worried about how I'd fit into the world. I learned to ignore the urges and spent many years trying to be "normal". When I finally gave in to the growing need to express the inner me, I felt like a freaky perv until I found this place and was liberated by the truth.
I've since come out to my wife and kids. Kids are 100% supportive and didn't bat an eyelid but my wife is still uncomfortable with my dressing. We've been together over 30 years, I don't know if our marriage will survive but I hope so and I'm sure we will always be friends.
I've always found it as easy to relate to women as men and have firm friendships with both. If I had to pick a label for myself it would be genderqueer. I'm not fluid and feel pretty much the same about my gender all the time. I'm neither and both. I present mostly male to the outside world though my time spent here has given me the courage to dress increasingly ambiguously and I'm starting to get some priceless looks when out and about. I even get a thrill from the disapproving scowls. I actually feel sorry for these people in their ignorance. I get lots of smiles too, which is lovely.
I've prattled on long enough. Thanks for reading. It is a priveledge to be here with all of you. Thanks you for being here.
B
I'm a 24 y/o afab demi-guy (???). Still not entirely sure about that part.
Sent from my SPH-L720T using Tapatalk
Quote from: nicole99 on September 19, 2015, 03:08:01 PM
I do like the idea of body mind maps, and perhaps our brain holding a map for a body that I did not have. So the part dealing with my vulva and curves had to be jury rigged to make use of the body I did have. I likened it to phantom limb syndrome. It may be complete crap but it was a way of explaining my dysphoria to others and myself. I could feel the curves that should of been there and my penis was this foreign object that while fun was not mine.
Interesting that someone else uses this terminology. I have a desire to have male parts, and can sometimes on a subconscious level almost feel them, like a "phantom penis."
I´m 28, lived for 27 years as a straight tomboy, but was never completely comfortable in my own skin. I missed people I could relate to.
I see myself as male now, about 80%, the other 20% is female, although my hormones cause that pattern to shift and fluctuate now and then. Therefore I consider myself to be male and non-binary :)
Funny enough I don´t see myself as trans so much, because I´ve always felt male - a genderqueer male.
Okay, it is really good for my mood to read this thread. Wow. There are so many people like me!
My gender is still all over the place, and I have no idea. I thought that genderfluidity was just a phase. I'm starting to worry that it's here to stay.
I've identified several modes. Boymode is straightforward, but painful because I still have lots of internalized transphobia when I'm in that headspace; for instance, I'm utterly ashamed of having been seen in a skirt. Femdrogynous is where I feel happiest -- I enjoy looking feminine and I find myself behaving in a more feminine manner; but I don't anguish over my manly voice or body. Sometimes I experience a bi/pan-gender mode where two or more genders are present simultaneously -- this is challenging, but I think it's kinda neat in its own way. I haven't felt genuinely feminine for several months. I don't know if that's gone or if I'm secretly MTF and still in denial about it.
I've been trying to make observations about my genderfluidity in a nonjudgemental way. I'm watching, and looking for triggers. Last time I had sex, I suddenly felt very feminine. When I talked to my brother and learned that he's grieving the loss of his brother, it sent me into boymode. It's like a trick knee -- strong emotions set my gender in motion.
HI i'm new here, Jason, 27, i ID as nonbinary, although I'm sure there's a more specific word to fit my identity. Let's just say my gender is mostly undefinable, and leave it at that.
I want to go on a low dose of T to get a slightly more masculine and hopefully more "in-between" presentation. but I'm pregnant right now so my physical transition is on the backburner for a little bit (only six months to go :D)
I don't know how I didn't see this thread before. I had stopped coming to Susan's as often because the non-binary area seemed so quiet. I have only just started identifying as such and needed to explore that in full. I didn't want to disrupt the binary threads too much. I came here early in 2015 right as I was reaching self acceptance and got so much help and support. I love this place!
I still need to go back and read the rest of the thread but I had to post now!
Okay, so my gender has always found its way back to the word tomboy, that isn't just my expression it is my gender. Trans tomboy. Being trans is really important to me. My past, present and future are a unified whole. Pre transition I felt like a 50/50 blend of male and female and now I feel more like 70/30 with female in the dominant. My trouble before was not being able to express my femininity, part of that was that my body needed to change to be more feminine. But I needed to still have an athletic frame. To be alowed to have hairy arms if I want. I have decided too that publicly I have one name but legally I still have my birth name. And until such a moment comes when I can put trans down as my gender marker I don't care if I am legally male or female. I am recognized as feminine everywhere I go nowadays and I like being able to raise the question in someone's mind. To force them to realize I am trans. I think being trans should be as celebrated as being male or female. I am not wholly male or female I am a bit of both and neither, I am trans. I am a feminine person who was born with male parts and swapped them out who continues to enjoy the stuff of masculinity and femininity in equal measure.
I have been away for a while and decided to check in on a whim It was good to see some familiar faces so I opened an account and am reconnecting
Hi, I'm very new here, just introduced in the main area yesterday and the non-binary intros today. I just saw this thread and it's wonderful! So many people so similar to me!
I am A/DMAB and expressed male my whole life, including now (although at this very moment I'm wearing only women's clothes) but I have always had an issue with my maleness. Over the past year I've been exploring my identity, particularly after three or so different events last June and I've been progressively realizing that I'm very much a girl on the inside, at least part of time. I've been gradually coming out to my wife and kids, exposing them to my underdressing and wearing women's jeans and very modest make-up (so modest that it's unlikely anyone at work even noticed). Today I fully came out to my wife as trans/non-binary and explained how I often wished I were a girl. She responded in the most accepting way I could imagine, she asked me to get dressed for the day (I was sitting around in a bathrobe drinking coffee and she knew I was wearing lace pink panties and a cami) and she offered me her new leggings and striped turtle neck and told me she married me because I was a feminine guy and it was OK.
I find this all very liberating and it helps me feel both more feminine and more comfortable that I'm a guy.
So, I'm a girl, and I'm a guy, and it sounds like there are a lot of us. :D
DeeDee
I am proud to be non binary
Quote from: Allison Wunderland on September 17, 2015, 10:26:16 PM
We're entirely clear that we're cis-M, and not "stuck in the wrong body." We just WISH we were cis-F, the full-boat, menstruation, no androgen damage, etc.
YES, Allison! Wow, Yes, if I could be a girl now with functioning parts, hells to the yeah, I'd do it. I dream about such a world often. Even better (for me anyway) if it were possible to go back and forth, I think I'd stay a girl once I was there but I do feel my gender varies on the continuum from day to day or even minute to minute. I'm mostly girl though inside though I'm learning, the boy is mostly on the outside but I agree, I'm not stuck in the wrong body.
Hugs,
DeeDee
Quote from: HughE on September 18, 2015, 05:42:39 PM
I've got enough in common with the DES "babes" I've chatted to over the last couple of years to know I had some kind of exposure to synthetic hormones, which I think must have been during the second trimester only (so I had normal male hormone levels and male brain development during the third trimester of my prenatal development).
Interesting, I didn't know about the associations of DES beyond cancer until reading your post and then the Wikipedia article (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Diethylstilbestrol). I'm fairly certain my mother stopped taking DES long before my birth but my sister (14 years older) is very much a DES daughter, having had a complex vaginal/cervical cancer that was tied to it and I suppose some latency/residual effects may have affected me. Although I neither know nor particularly care if I had any exposure to DES or any other synthetic (or natural) hormones, the topic is interesting and it might be an interesting tool to "explain" my non-binary nature to others, especially if I start expressing more towards the female.
Hugs,
DeeDee
Hi.
Hi
I am male 53 just coming out as non-gender and tell friends that I am also a eunuch.
Bjorn
Hi all,
Sofia here. I would consider myself bigender or 69% girly love and 21% male. Maybe more femal and les male. But the male is always there. This may change as soon as I get hrt.
Quote from: SophiaBleu on March 10, 2016, 10:37:27 PM
Hi all,
Sofia here. I would consider myself bigender or 69% girly love and 21% male. Maybe more femal and les male. But the male is always there. This may change as soon as I get hrt.
Hey! I kinda know what you mean. I see myself as a 70/30 blend of femme and butch traits (femme dominant) but it is all trans woman. I have been seeing myself as more bigender recently too except I am sometimes agender, as in I feel no relationship to gender what so ever and then I will swing back to being very aware and thrilled with my femme butch trans womanhood. On my agender days I often downplay a lot of my more gendered presentation. Sometimes I play up a mix. I do get more stares on those days but I feel more confident in it so it doesn't matter as much. I like being a question mark some of the time. But it is super nice when straight men find me hot too!
Hi, new people and anyone else who's still around. ;)
While I'm not the 'member from way back' who inspired this thread, I'm still someone who used to be active but has been on a sabbatical for, let's see, five years or so. So, as an introduction / status update, I'm 51, live in northern Europe and have progressed to the point where I've got a male name on my office door, a female one on my work e-mail address, and both on my ID card. Strangers tend to see me more as a woman than as a man these days, which is fine with me even if it isn't the whole truth.
And now let's see if this will be a fly-by update or if I'm here to stay.
I am very happy to be included in the non binary gender part of the world. My narrative followed a different path than what i once thought was required for transgender membership and stalled my self acceptance for years.
While I was one who did feel I was a girl from an early age I also coped and adapted to a reality i then felt was unalterable. Having previously lived 60 years as some kind of boy and man meant years of socialization in a gender role that never fit. My dysphoria was progressive enough and meeting another non binary trans person helped rock my world of excuses and denial. This is just one reason I consider our visibility with diverse stories of being trans so important for those coming next. One size does not fit all!
I gradually have become more comfortable calling myself a trans woman and went thru times of being androgynous and gender queer--all valid for the time. Woman is an inclusive term for me and I arrived here with my life experience and memories intact. I am kind of a hybrid and delighted to have allowed myself the freedoms to live the way I feel best.
What works for you is best decided by you who pays the price of admission. ;D
Someone here brought up phantom limbs for their missing parts-- I really identify with that. I'm female bodied, but the first time I put on a packer and saw that guy hanging out of my briefs, I felt like I was seeing my phantom male member.
Yes. It was so nice to exchange my phantom breasts for real ones. And having two sets of genitals is a bit weird, especially as the one that's physically there feels less real than the one that isn't. Adds to the NB feeling, though. ;)
I always thought that was rather cool but never saw it in real life.
Genderfluidity/non-binary wasn't a thing when I started getting seriously into my trans side (I'd crossdressed since childhood and imagined myself as a girl frequently, but didn't peek out of the closet until my early twenties), back then all you could be was ->-bleeped-<- or transexual. I realised quickly that I wasn't the latter - for me, it wasn't so much about rejecting my birth gender as not being limited by it. I said at the time that had I been born a girl I'd probably have dressed as a boy and when someone at a trans night sarcastically called me a "tomboy ->-bleeped-<-" I thought that fitted me perfectly. I took to wearing skirts with male outfits through most of my twenties, it pretty much became my look, though I went full femme for performance purposes (amongst other things, I did a drag magic act) or if the mood just took me.
After a while, genderf**** started appearing as a term, but I wasn't happy with such a crude term and I didn't want people getting the idea it was all about shock. Genderqueer was slightly better, but it's only more recently that I've found genderfluid as my proper designation. I'm pretty flexible about pronouns (and bathrooms for that matter), generally using whatever is most comfortable for the people I'm with, so long as there's no malice on their part. I'd rather meet people halfway to promote positive acceptance than risk alienating them further by getting bent out of shape.
Quote from: suzifrommd on September 17, 2015, 08:14:08 PM
I'm Suzi, who lived for 50 years obliviously as a man never dreaming I'd have gender issues. I now live full-time as a woman, but I don't really see myself as female, or not completely. My true gender is kind of a genderfluid mix of feeling female, male, agender, or something else entirely.
Even though I am not full time so to speak I kind of feel like that too.
Hi all! As a kid I was always a tomboy, but even though I tried to visit that again in my early 20s, most of my life I've struggled to fit in the female only box. In the last few months I've stepped out of that box, and packed up my dresses and jewelry. At first I thought I knew exactly where I was landing, but as time goes on I'm discovering it's not as simple as originally planned. I'm finding a lot of grey areas and I'm both nervous and excited about rediscovering where I fall in these new experiences.
I wear men's clothes, and want to look good in them, but I don't have a need to change my body. I feel like I've been misrepresenting myself for a couple of decades. Now I have to be honest with myself about what I need, and what I want in order to be happy. It's nice to meet everyone here, and to learn about all of your different journeys. (And if they have been painful, I hope you find peace very soon.)
L~
Hi Lizard,
I'm mom to a trans girl, who is only on HRT and after 2.5 years hasn't made any move to get her name or marker changed. She still tells us she's a girl and wants her chosen name used. But she's definitely stuck in non-binary world.
Ironically, it was her coming out that made me aware of my identity as more NB than female.
I have a male name, and have frequently been 'accused' of being a 'dyke'. I only wear dresses for special occasions .
I kind of like shocking people by reinforcing that although I'm not physically male, nor do I want to be, I am definitely not the average image of a woman. I have worked in a male-dominated profession for about 30 years.
So, I take pride in not being binary. I challenge all policies being written in my company to be gender neutral. I'm currently trying to neutralize sexist grooming standards. It has only been 1 year since my company's health insurance became trans* inclusive.
I campaign for equality, but do stand apart. It kind of deflates me that I'm not as 'unique ' as I have been in the past.
At the same time, I feel less isolated. I call myself a woman, but happy to be past menopause 😉. I'm happy to be a Mom, but prefer to be a nurturing AND strong parent. I work hard, but my physique is kind of weak and soft.
I'm non-binary, and proud. My kid is trans* and my husband is kinda confused. 😃
Life can be interesting and full of all kinds of beautiful people. I feel fortunate to be amongst some right here.
I just watched a vlog by a Canadian youth, 20 something and afab. They mentioned that if they had been amab they feel they still would have transitioned to the middle. I feel that way too! If I had been born more distinctly female I feel certain that I would have ended up on T.
Some of my most important role models in life are women who are masculine in some significant way. I don't always understand gender. Male and female will always seem foreign to me. But I do think I understand masculine and feminine, they ebbe and flow through me.
Hello. I'm Jesse, and I am a teenage femandrogyne. I've been exploring my sexuality for some time now and I feel that that's what suits me best, despite that I am male biologically.
Quote from: Xyun on April 11, 2016, 08:30:05 PM
Hello. I'm Jesse, and I am a teenage femandrogyne. I've been exploring my sexuality for some time now and I feel that that's what suits me best, despite that I am male biologically.
Welcome!
Quote from: Xyun on April 11, 2016, 08:30:05 PM
Hello. I'm Jesse, and I am a teenage femandrogyne. I've been exploring my sexuality for some time now and I feel that that's what suits me best, despite that I am male biologically.
Hi Jesse. Welcome to Susan's. :icon_wave:
Here are some links to site policies and other helpful information:
- Site Terms of Service and rules to live by (http://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,2.0.html)
- Standard Terms and Definitions (http://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,54369.0.html)
- Post Ranks (including when you can upload an avatar) (http://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,114.0.html.)
- Reputation rules (http://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,18960.0.html)
- News posting & quoting guidelines (http://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,174951.0.html)
- Photo, avatars, and signature images policy (http://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,59974.msg383866.html#msg383866)
Quote from: bunnymom on April 03, 2016, 07:48:23 PM
Hi Lizard,
I'm mom to a trans girl, who is only on HRT and after 2.5 years hasn't made any move to get her name or marker changed. She still tells us she's a girl and wants her chosen name used. But she's definitely stuck in non-binary world.
Ironically, it was her coming out that made me aware of my identity as more NB than female.
I have a male name, and have frequently been 'accused' of being a 'dyke'. I only wear dresses for special occasions .
I kind of like shocking people by reinforcing that although I'm not physically male, nor do I want to be, I am definitely not the average image of a woman. I have worked in a male-dominated profession for about 30 years.
So, I take pride in not being binary. I challenge all policies being written in my company to be gender neutral. I'm currently trying to neutralize sexist grooming standards. It has only been 1 year since my company's health insurance became trans* inclusive.
I campaign for equality, but do stand apart. It kind of deflates me that I'm not as 'unique ' as I have been in the past.
At the same time, I feel less isolated. I call myself a woman, but happy to be past menopause 😉. I'm happy to be a Mom, but prefer to be a nurturing AND strong parent. I work hard, but my physique is kind of weak and soft.
I'm non-binary, and proud. My kid is trans* and my husband is kinda confused. 😃
Life can be interesting and full of all kinds of beautiful people. I feel fortunate to be amongst some right here.
Hi bunnymom! Would you say that your daughter inspired you, or brought it out in you? This sounds like an interesting and wonderful dynamic! And kudos to you for doing so much work for equality!
I'm not past menopause, but I am loving Mirena! Twin boys were enough for me. LOL!
L~
Hi! I was directed here by a mod on my basic intro post, so I thought I'd say hello. :D
My name is Rinn, I'm 22, and nonbinary androgyne. I feel the same way as some people have mentioned above, that if I'd been assigned differently, I still would've transitioned to center. I figured I was nonbinary when I was 16-17... Looking back, it should've been more obvious. I used to pretend-shave my face with my dad even when I was clamoring to wear dresses, which I wore with my dinosaur boy-underwear.
QuoteI was clamoring to wear dresses, which I wore with my dinosaur boy-underwear.
That's like poetry
I'm Sage, a gender enigma who was AFAB, transitioned to male, and then ended up not feeling completely in line with any gender I encountered along the way. Socially I live as male for the most part and I'm pretty okay with that, but on the inside/with friends/with some family/with my partner I'm agender-aligned or at the very least a """""man""""" with like fifteen sarcastic quotation marks around it.
Quote from: spentgladiator on May 10, 2016, 12:53:02 AM
I'm Sage, a gender enigma who was AFAB, transitioned to male, and then ended up not feeling completely in line with any gender I encountered along the way. Socially I live as male for the most part and I'm pretty okay with that, but on the inside/with friends/with some family/with my partner I'm agender-aligned or at the very least a """""man""""" with like fifteen sarcastic quotation marks around it.
Hi Sage, great to meet you.
I have a somewhat similar experience. I transitioned MtF and even got bottom surgery, all of which for the most part I'm happy with, but on the inside I don't feel like I'm really either gender most of the time.
QuoteHi bunnymom! Would you say that your daughter inspired you, or brought it out in you? This sounds like an interesting and wonderful dynamic! And kudos to you for doing so much work for equality!
My daughter just helps me not be so self conscious of my masculinity. Also discovering "non-binary" helps me relate to her.
Honestly, I asked her if she could "just be a feminine male" instead of transitioning, because I've had the "advantage " of being a masculine female. It doesn't really work that way for her. I believe if I had been born with a male body, I probably would have just been accepting of my body and probably have been gay and effeminate.
I'm still uncomfortable at times because I don't fit with the binary. I guess it's a bonus that I have a male-sounding name to allow for my "un-ladylike" behavior ;)
Sometimes I feel "traitorous" to my non-binary identity when I want to dress girly and wear make-up. But it also feels wrong when I have to bow out of a heavy work task because I have a middle-aged woman's physique.
I do not mean to offend when I say most of my life I've felt like a gay man trapped in a woman's body. (But no need to change parts)
I guess I'm wearing "drag" when I doll up. But AFAB have an easier time with living "in the middle", I think.
After rereading a few posts on this thread I sit wondering how many people really feel all that Binary about gender? I am old and social enough to know many people that really don't fit the stereotypical dictates of gender identity and clearly don't fit the presentations or gender roles our cultures reinforce.
We can be grateful for those who think, feel and act outside those two neat boxes. Those boxes are too tight to define me and we can be sure there are many other people who want to share in the sense of freedom we inspire by just being ourselves.
100 years ago women in the USA rarely wore pants or slacks and now more people obviously feel free to express themselves in more colorful ways. Tats anyone? a few decades ago they were mostly for drunken sailors.
What floats your identity boat is yours to sail away with. I am grateful for sharing ideas here with you ;D
Quote from: Tessa James on May 27, 2016, 04:16:53 PM
After rereading a few posts on this thread I sit wondering how many people really feel all that Binary about gender? I am old and social enough to know many people that really don't fit the stereotypical dictates of gender identity and clearly don't fit the presentations or gender roles our cultures reinforce.
Though there's a difference between gender variant behavior/preferences and not feeling like you belong cleanly to any binary gender, right?
There are plenty of women who wouldn't wear a dress or guys who don't love cars and tools who would still never say "I'm not completely a man/woman, I'm something else or only partway, etc."
Gender identity isn't about what you like to do/wear, it's about how you see yourself, isn't it?
Hmmmmm....
Dysphoria has always been hardest when i lose the consciousness of who i am. As one normally presenting male androgyne at work, and female androgyne or full out girl at home or on the street, i need to be aware of my gender to be comfortable. And in that nonbinary head, that gender that is my own, i can be anyone socially accross the spectrum and be comfortable.
I see nonbinary as being "more than".
Its hard to explain it.
Lol its getting harder lately.
I just like being sh'e.
I'm 34 and I identify as third gender.
My apologies for not posting often - I'm the type that turns inwards when I need to figure things about and I've been doing a lot of that over the past couple of years in addition to battling health issues, but I see the light at the end of the tunnel! :)
:)
Quote from: suzifrommd on May 28, 2016, 05:06:58 AM
Though there's a difference between gender variant behavior/preferences and not feeling like you belong cleanly to any binary gender, right?
There are plenty of women who wouldn't wear a dress or guys who don't love cars and tools who would still never say "I'm not completely a man/woman, I'm something else or only partway, etc."
Gender identity isn't about what you like to do/wear, it's about how you see yourself, isn't it?
Oh yes, certainly! I was still transgender when presenting and appearing as a guy but now I also get to express my gender identity in ways that are more congruent with being myself ;D