I have just spoken to my 14 year old daughter after an earlier conversation gave me an opportunity to capture the moment. I was scared and embarrassed but just let it all out to her, going into a bit of detail. I told her about how long I'd been cross-dressing, how many clothes I have and what I would like to do going forward with regards to HRT, going full-time and possibly even SRS....amongst discussing the whole concept of gender/sexual identity/preference etc.
Amazingly, she was very understanding and, although smiling and laughing (mainly because I was laughing and making the odd joke here and there), understood what I was saying, how I felt and seemed accepting. At one point she told me that no matter what happens, I'm still her dad inside and she doesn't or will not hate me if I see it through. I thought that was a very respectful and grown up attitude from a young girl who'd just been told her dad doesn't want to be a man any more! I realise it destroys the mould and text book family life that we have drummed into us as youngster and expressed concerns that I was tearing down everything she might have dreamed about as we all get older.
It was such a relief to a) tell her and b) get the reaction I got. She is desperate to see my wardrobe and likes the idea of us going out for a coffee/clothes shop. I have an eye for fashion and am more into clothes shopping than her mother....even as a man!!!!! I'm a bit worried now that she might not like some of the clothes!!
Now for the 11 year old and fingers crossed and can be more open and overt with my dressing up prior to moving further down the path to transition. I'm desperate to get home from work and put on casual women's clothing without having to sneak about and keep an ear out for people coming downstairs.
Good luck to anybody else who's in a similar position.
Jenni
The fantastic parents we seem to have around here. Their children are loving, caring and open minded. I am happy it turned out so well and hears hoping that the 11 year old will go just as well.
That's awesome. My daughter was 14 when I told her. She still doesn't really want to talk about it. You've got a very mature young lady there. You raised her well.
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My 14 year old has spoken to my other half today and has said she wants to support me but doesn't want anyone to find out because she's worried about school where her friends make fun of people like me! Understandable, since that is a true reflection of society. With my plans I doubt she'll be in school long enough to worry, but college might be a similar situation.
It is my biggest worry for both my children, the bullying they'll suffer at school because their father doesn't conform to society rules. I'm struggling with how to explain to my 11 year old! Want to have a plan before I talk to her and am trying to tonight.
That's fantastic. Congrats. Good luck with the 11 year old. Fingers crossed. Hugs
Mariah
It is wonderful it has gone so well for you this far. But, please don't get discouraged if you get a little blowback as the reality sets in. You have already mentioned what can happen at school. There is a lot of other baggage your children will have to deal with. Fortunately, they seem like they have good understanding parents and with that being part of their makeup, they'll be better prepared to deal with these issues.
Cindi
Quote from: JennyOwen on September 19, 2015, 04:39:21 PM
My 14 year old has spoken to my other half today and has said she wants to support me but doesn't want anyone to find out because she's worried about school where her friends make fun of people like me! Understandable, since that is a true reflection of society. With my plans I doubt she'll be in school long enough to worry, but college might be a similar situation.
It is my biggest worry for both my children, the bullying they'll suffer at school because their father doesn't conform to society rules. I'm struggling with how to explain to my 11 year old! Want to have a plan before I talk to her and am trying to tonight.
I came out to my adult children on Friday afternoon and they were every supportive but I noticed the younger one struggling. She came up and saw me last night and the things that concerned her were similar to your daughters. She asked about things like Father Day, did I want to change my name, was I going to go out with men, would they come round one day and her dad was gone and replaced by another woman, she was scared for me that I could get hurt physically, did I want to grow my hair, did I want to go out clubbing....
So I answered every question as best I could and off she went very happy. I guess what I am saying is it is important to follow up as after a a couple of days and some internet time she may well be confused.
Congratulations that was a huge step, take a pat on the back and hug for good measure. You are doing really well and don't forget to keep that sense of humour...and don't forget to talk about the good bits...
If your youngest is in public school, then maybe she'll be transferring to a different school in a couple years for junior high, or even high school? That's possibly a good time for you to go full time so that your 16 year old will be graduated and going to college, and your 11 year old will be transferring to a new environment that may not know anything about her dad. College kids won't be an issue most likely.
Good luck, and congrats on taking these important steps!