Hello everyone, nice to meet you all. I posted this on the crossdressing sub->-bleeped-<- about an hour ago as well. I'm new here so please bear with me...
First of all, pardon me. English is not my native language. With that out of the way; naturally, as many of you might have had similarly or otherwise, I've had a question that's been plaguing my mind for little less than five months now. But I'm looking forward to hear, or rather read, what everyone else has to say about this particular subject.
Let's start with three quick facts. Naturally, I am a 23 years old (soon 24) biologically male and an heterosexual crossdresser. But I also identify myself as both male and female. Thus, for some time now, I've grown to consider myself what's nowadays known and trending as Gender Fluid and dress accordingly whenever I feel like it. Alas, I cannot help but think this new therm may not precisely adequate and is, in fact, mistaken and far from awknowledged. Which is to say...
Normally I couldn't care less for labels or titles, and every intentionally harmful / offensive commentary about me is otherwise generally ignored and void. But I thought it would be at least nice to know exactly what to call myself for starters...
The gender and sexuality spectrums, whilst wide and extremely varied have also, unfortunately, overly and needlessly complicated things in my opinion. It is said complexity what has driven me to write this down and share it with you fine people.
For instance: What do you call a gender-expansive, biologically male person like myself whom crossdresses, whose sexual orientation is straight, gender identity is both, gender role is mostly male, gender expression is mostly female, and at the current time considered themselves to be genderfluid?
A confused person?
A genderfluid person whom crossdresses sometimes?
A genderqueer person?
A bi-gender person whom crossdresses sometimes?
A transgender person in the nonetheless very broad aspect of said term?
In regards to this last one, and quoting from Wikipedia: "Transgender people experience a mismatch between their gender identity or gender expression and their assigned sex. Transgender is also an "umbrella term", as, in addition to including trans men and trans women, whose binary gender identities are the opposite of their assigned sex (and who are sometimes specifically termed transsexual if they desire medical assistance to transition), it may include genderqueer people (whose identities are not exclusively masculine or feminine, but may, for example, be bigender, pangender or agender). Other definitions include third-gender people as transgender or conceptualize transgender people as a third gender, and infrequently, the term is defined very broadly to also include cross-dressers.
Deep in my mind and my heart, I already know the answer... It'll be obvious to some of you. And I will share it, eventually.
But first I want to know what you ladies and gentlemen think: what gives? Do I fit inside a box, or is the box out of reach? Is there even one in the first place? Why do I even bother overanalyzing it so much? Who is this new forum user whom keeps rambling on with pointless questions? Will Goku ever defeat the evil Frieza?
Find out (hopefully with your help) in the comments below!
Just be you and don't worry about labels.
Quote from: cheryl reeves on September 23, 2015, 10:56:51 PM
Just be you and don't worry about labels.
This +1
You beat me to it Cheryl :D
I used to tell my children when they were growing up that labels were for jam jars.
I am so sick of labels these days, so what if I am a Gay Transgender Woman, I mean if I did become a woman I still would be attracted to men and not woman unless they were other Transgender Women and then I would be attracted to them. See how can you put a label on that?
First, I taught ESL at the University for years. Your English is exquisite!
I don't know Goku or Frieza
"Cross Dressing" -- I think this implies wearing some sort of disguise. As in, "I'm physically cis-M, but I'm dressed to present as cis-F . . . but I'm not cis-F."
I distinguish between dressing gender neutral, or "mixed" (male/female clothing). But I present "trans something" pretty obviously cis-M. I'm able to "pass" as female in some contexts, like socially removed, cover of darkness, no interpersonal engagement.
When I "pass" it's a disguise. And so "cross dress" for me means "male dressed as female." I'm not cis-F.
"Not cross dressed" for me means dressing in a presentation that is integrated, cohesive, authentic. It's not a costume. I am who I am, who I present. Presentation is cis-M, but assertively "gender borderline."
For me "cross dressing" refers to a former state of mind (FOR ME) where I was putting on a costume and crossing some taboo sorts of boundaries. "Cross dressing" for me was what my therapist referred to as "fetish" rather than gender ID.
OK, maybe on some plane, maybe. But insofar as a "fetish" is the fixation on an object of desire, I concede to being "fixated" on female ID, female form, female being. It's not "objectification" but rather a more self-reflexive subjectification of aspiration. "I (subject) want to be (verb) female (object).
I'm not "crossing" anything. I'm integrating, subverting the hetero-normative dyad.