I'm a transboy and recently I think my dysphoria has gotten worse, I think it might be because I can't "pass" as a guy when I go out no matter how hard I try. When I'm at home usually the dysphoria eases off a little, but I often just feel so uncomfortable and awkward going out and being treated as a girl, called "ma'am" or "miss" by strangers all the time.
I've tried so many things, I cut my hair short, I bind my chest every day, I soft pack some days, I wear more masculine clothes all the time. I imitate the mannerisms of many guys I see, and sometimes I imagine myself as guys I really look up to. But I still feel very out of it and disconnected- I can never describe how my dysphoria feels sometimes but I know it's there. Since I'm not out to anyone nobody I know can validate me in real life and use my name/pronouns, I can only find comfort occasionally online. I feel pretty bad because I can't start HRT or anything like that any time soon. I don't know what I can do to be able to match up how I feel genderwise inside to the outside, if that makes sense.
Does anyone have any tips/advice in general on dysphoria?
My approach was to "make believe" that I was under cover... a woman pretending to be a dude (so reverse it in your case). So getting called "sir" reinforced how "clever" my disguise was. I was surprised at how well it worked at the time. I guess it helped inject some humour and took my mind off how bad I felt about being seen and treated as a guy.