I am just curious if any nonbinary members here use both mens&womens restrooms?
If so, I would like to know:
Is your outside presentation nonbinary/androgynous?
What gender does it say in your official document?
Also, why you use both restrooms? Is it because one has a bigger line and therefore the other is less uncomfortable? Or other reasons?
I do! I identify as nb/transmasc -- basically somewhere on the line from androgynous to binary male -- and I use both bathrooms. I have a very feminine face and mannerisms, so despite presenting as masculinely as possible, I'm usually perceived as androgynous: a butch woman, a ???, or a young boy. My documents say F.
I use both bathrooms. Different things impact my choice:
- The line! I'm always looking for an "excuse" to pick one over another, so the shorter line often informs my choice.
- Who I'm with. I'm not out to my work/classmates, so I always use the F or handicap/single stall bathroom around them.
- The location of the bathroom. I'm more likely to use the men's room in busy, public places because I feel like people are less likely to look at me. If hundreds of strangers are going in and out of the bathroom each day, it's unlikely that I'll stand out. I'm scared to use the men's in a place where I go in every day and people might recognise me, know me, talk to me.
- How I'm dressed. Some days, I know I look more fem or more masc.
- The other people in the bathroom. I was hassled by a guy the other day after he saw a man (me) enter the woman's restroom. He chased me down and yelled at me and tried to stop me from using the toilet. :/
Personally, I'm all about the single stall, gender neutral toilets. Way less scary!
I use both . . . mostly M because that's what is on ID.
LAWFUL in this state to use either, but I present border male most days. On days when I present "more female" I look 67 and matronly -- male hormones in geriatric decline. Older people look "less sexy" & thus less gendered.
Presenting "F" entails using cultural gender signifiers -- hair, jewelry, clothing, handbag (laptop bag), accessories like scarves, hats, shades. Choose settings where strict standards are off, people diverse, anonymous, like race tracks, casinos.
Objections are met w/ "transitional" sorry that I made you uncomfortable. And then leave.
BUT -- cis-F remind me that they use restrooms for menses mgmt. Males in that space are cause for alarm about sexual assault and related.
Tough issue because it's crucial to ID how one "presents" in social contexts.
When presenting "F" -- I use handicapped, "family" w/ lock on door.
I use female loos only. As far as I'm concerned the male loos might as well be filled with Orcs and Goblins; - I know they certainly smell like it :laugh:
Quote from: Lady Smith on October 01, 2015, 12:33:23 AM
I use female loos only. As far as I'm concerned the male loos might as well be filled with Orcs and Goblins; - I know they certainly smell like it :laugh:
And I thought it was spelled "Lou" . . . or "Lew" . . . a corruption of lewd. LMAO
Yes, depending on how I'm dressed (or the line) I'll duck in either one.
I use both. I usually present as male, but often "dare" myself to use the ladies', even when dressed as a man. I only got caught once - and I just made out that I'd made a mistake and got out of there!
I am along captain's logic lines. I PREFER to use the mens, I am Male Id'ed but my exterior varies. I like how I look when binding but I really hate wearing a binder erryday. It hurts and I overheat and it's all scratchy, whine whine,complain ;D I do not actively despise my boobs, I just know I'll be recognized as manlier without them and they just don't match my general wardrobe as much as I'd like...
I am admittedly a big wussy about using the men's room with any other guys that are strangers (or mys Dad ahhhhh! weird!) because I am never sure if I pass okay. It sounds like more than a few people here have seen women using the men's room with no regard for 'the rules' so I should be more adventurous. But my favorite restrooms at work are the wheelchair friendly, gender neutral ones in the new parts of the hospital 8)
I have mostly used the M washrooms, or the unisex ones where available. The last time we traveled it became very evident that this could not last. The looks I was receiving made me uncomfortable have become more and more uncomfortable using M washrooms but felt that I was not passing well enough to use the F. However, I am now having to were a bra, and will start wearing my wig this week, and hopefully this will help in my comfort, as well as wife's, in using the F washroom. Still nervous but can only 'hold it' for so long!
I tried using the male ones after I transitioned and I gave some guys heart attacks. It was deeply uncomfortable for everyone so I stopped ;D
And people keep saying that guys don't stare at you in the men's room... maybe only if you blend in and look like a binary male but in my case, it's not like that. And I am guessing it's when someone is at the urinal; like they're not looking at anyone else when they're doing their business.
Just the other day when I went in when they were a bunch of guys, I got panic attack symptoms while in the stall and didn't know what to do. I just froze or something that I couldn't even do my business. I am also pee shy to begin with in any gendered bathrooms. It was horrible for me. At the same time when I go to women's bathrooms, its a different kind of disturbance because my mentality gets frustrated and angry. So I get disturbed both ways.