Hello everyone! The name's Todd, and I'm a femme trans man.
I've actually been a little lurker for some time now since I've been using this website since high school. I found it when I was googling a few questions relating to transmen. I forgot what I initially put in the search bar, but I found a few threads that seem to answer them and everything else was history.
I'm a very private (and paranoid) person, so I feel like if I share my story, it would be very easy for someone to recognize who I am, so I'll give a few vague details about my own life story:
I never truly identified myself as a female, but I have felt ashamed by identifying as male for various reasons. Many of which ranged from "your body is a gift" to "you're only trans because you want to be better than women". Mostly the latter because most of my friends were feminists. I've actually only got those kinds of comment from ONE person that I outed myself to, but I've quickly learned that the others had the same opinion in regards to other people like me.
So far, I have outed myself to my parents in September and I'm happy with the results. They didn't get angry or go full-bigot mode that I thought they would. They're pretty calm about it, but still, it's obvious that they haven't fully accepted yet. They say that they don't care what I am just as long as I'm happy, but still pressured me to go to a therapist to make sure that I wasn't confused, and they're highly against HRT treatment (but not Top Surgery).
To be fair, I'm a little scared of HRT myself but I really, really want to go through with it. Preferably, I want to get on it after surgery because then I wouldn't have C-cup breasts hanging out while I'm on it. Though I have been reconsidering it since I've read that most therapists prefer the other way around, and since HRT is a long process, I don't think I'm going to have any noticeable changes for a while, and Double-Incision top surgery is very expensive in my area. So it'll be a long while until I get the money for it. For now, I'm still trying to plan everything out and go through college.
So obviously, I'm pre-everything. I'm going to visit the therapist in a few weeks, and I hope things go well with her because she's literally the only one I can access through Kaiser.
With all that aside, I finally joined this site in order to have a safe place, and have a few people to talk to for advice and help guide me. And even though I said I'm a lurker, I'm still new to this community so forgive me if I screw up every now and then.
Nice to meet you all!
Welcome to Susan's. You will find plenty of people to hang out with here and they will understand that you are new and have many questions. Most of the people are pretty new to the site including me. I have only been here a few months and I came to learn about voice surgery. Often medical procedures are covered under insurance policies so read your plan carefully to learn what is covered and what is not. I was lucky and my work policy reimbursed me for my surgery (we had to pay cash in advance). The family will take a while but therapy is an important part of the transition. We accumulate a good deal of emotional baggage before we start the transition and it's best to clean that up before moving into the new life. HRT is something you will have to think about but it will change your appearance to male. I have seen FTMs undergo the transformation and it's almost like magic how much they change. For us the changes aren't as great and we need to resort to beauty tricks to become passable. Let us know if there is anything you need.
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Hi Todd, Welcome to Susan's. Sorry that your parents gave a bit of a mixed reception to it, but they are right that you should see a therapist. I'm glad that your going to. I can understand why you want to do things in a particular order. Each of needs things to be in an order that works for us even if the standard route doesn't always line up with the route we need. I had to voice my concern with the order of something to get it dealt with in my situation and I"m glad I did because it allowed me to be able to do things when I need to them based on my situation. I look forward to seeing you around the forums. Good luck and Hugs
Mariah
Hi Todd :icon_wave:
Welcome to Susan's :) Glad to have you here, join on in the fun
Hugs
V M
Warm welcome to Susan's Todd
Firstly congrats on very accepting parents, a big plus as you move through your journey.
Good luck with your therapist visit shortly... and best wishes on your journey
You really have joined a safe, warm and informative place and I look forward to seeing you around the forum's
L Katy :-*
Welcome Todd,
You've found a very supportive place here. I have a trans son myself. I'm really proud of him, and hes fully open at school and with the entire family. Something I was never able to do. :( Its brought him a tremendous bit of relief letting the world know who he is. I'm proud of you for opening up to your parents, that's a huge first step. :)