So I told my mother to read more about the risks of treatment when I brought it up today, asking how our health plan would cover HRT. I did this because she was very scared of HRT, and so I tried to have her read up on it herself. Unfortunately, Mom now has more reasons to explain how I will die before the age of 30 since she decided to focus only on the worst-of-the-worst side effects and virtually nothing else. I should've seen that coming, but even if I did, I would've taken the chance anyway to hopefully ease her worries.
Has anyone in your family or friends ever attempt to do research in order to get to know you or your situation better? Doesn't matter if the result was good or bad, and doesn't matter if you're FTM or MTF either. Everyone's welcome to reply here.
I recently told my sister that I've been wondering if I'm FTM and she's on it. She said this is interesting, wanted me to tell her more, asked me for this app, everything. She's being super supportive its kind of overwhelming to be honest.
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my mother did some though I didn't see much from it, though its possible she did more than I expected during the many years i was in the closet after the first time I tried to come out to her which ended with her shouting at me that I am lying and wrong and other suiside inducing things. she may have read up on it and realized this isen't a game in my mind but a real thing people deal with. I don't know.
Serena
My mom did a bit of googling. She says she doesn't care and is happy to have a daughter anyway.
I'm pretty sure my parents did some research, but not sure which of them did it, probably my mom. I got sent some articles and desperate pleas by email to not ruin myself and my life and my body and my marriage and my career and my child, etc... Nothing positive at all. I tried sending them some more positive articles, but they didn't want to even consider them. They only saw the negatives, not any of the positives that this is bringing to my life at all.
I'm just glad that I moved 100 miles away from them over 7 years ago! Not letting their negativity bring this girl down!
I soooo wish my parents would not only take to research but also understand as to why I'm transgender. I think if they understood maybe just maybe they would accept me as their daughter but that is only a pipe dream that I keep living.
I think my cousin's parents did.
Not mine, though. I don't have contact with my father and even though my mother is a scientist by profession I think she is too lazy to even look it up. Sigh.
My mother joined a "parents of FTM" group on facebook... and promptly decided that I wasn't "like that" (read: really trans and therefore deserving of overt support). Oops for me. :icon_dizzy:
When I came out to my family, I had prepared some information packages for each of them to read over at their leisure. I also had some extras for them to give to the close neighbours in the event any of them questioned who the strange woman was.
In the package was information about being transgender, support and being an ally, terminology, personal options for the person such as surgery and as much information as I could garner that would help them understand me and being trans a whole lot better. I felt the packages would help because it would be a big thing to take in at the time and they may come up with questions after and hopefully the information could help answer them.
As far as I know, not one member of my family even bothered to read a single word. Even now after 2 years being a woman my brother thinks this is just a passing phase and I'll eventually be back to normal.
Love,
Clare
When I came out in 2002, my parents hid the fact I was trans from my grandparents. Mom said she would let them die before they found out what I was doing. I told my mom that she has no right, and that I'd show up looking gorgeous at my grandparents house. She knew I was serious too.
So, my mom and dad drove 8 hours to my grandparents house to tell them. My mom told them it was an abomination, and perverted and wrong. My grandfather said nothing. He simply turned on his computer and started doing research. After a couple hours he came back to my mom. His exact words were, verbatim,
"It's not her fault"
My mom was livid. He didn't know my girl name, never saw a picture of me, he just knew that I was TG and went out of his way to use the correct pronoun in front of her.
Mad. My mom was effing mad, yo. She got over it, now she is 100% accepting. Especially after doing research on her own. She wants to go with me when I get SRS and everything.
I thank my grandparents for the support and research. If it weren't for them, who knows where I'd be. Research literally changed my family dynamic.
I'm sure my mum did research on this topic after I came out to her.
It's been nearly a year now, and she definitely gained much more knowledge on my situation from the internet.
but having said that, I know that it's difficult for her to witness my changes in real life...
we did have a hard time going through the sex change regret thing tough when she researched on this topic... :-\
I don't think my parents will research it though my mum has said she wants advice on how to explain to young children. I kind of don't want them to do their own research in case they only find/ focus on the negatives.
I've been gathering my own info for my partner and i might give my parents an edited version (because they don't need to know anything about the downstairs region, more the social side, for example I think if they can be aware of a few notable transguys then it'll be easier to imagine and seem less impossible).
As for my younger siblings, personally i think they'll already get it as there's more in the media than there used to be - they're already well aware that some kids have two mums or two dads - and i know for a fact that my little brothers have read a kids book about a trans girl and they didn't seem fazed at all. I kind of think it's an excuse to get me to hold back on coming out to more people. Maybe i should get the kids to explain to everyone else lol
When I came out to my mom, she knew nothing about transgender. She researched and read books to fully understand it. The funny thing is she originally assumed that I was a gay male before I came out to her and was convinced that I would be attracted to men after I transitioned because a trans woman she read about did switch sexual orientations after she transitioned her attraction changed from women to men.
I wasn't the least bit surprised when my mom did research and of course started telling me all the scary side effects of HRT and the dangers of surgery, about people who detransitioned/had regret, and finding every reason to doubt my transness. I just kind of learned to ignore her when she goes on these tangents and avoiding discussion on it.
I don't think the rest of my family did any research, some kinda knew about this stuff.
i know my dad did when i came out. it shocked me because he normally doesn't read anything thats not about car repairs, IT or Government stuff for his military job. he told me the information he was reading really helped to understand me,
By "research" do you mean wildly inventing bible scriptures that don't exist to reinforce their bias and prejudice? Then yes, they did "research"
My mother would never accept that my certain death out weighed any possible risks of transition.