This has got to be the hardest part for me since accepting myself. Picking a name.
Or more specifically, committing to a name. I had one stick before I even started posting here. It resonates with me at the moment, it has personal meaning to me, and all of that. But I spend weeks, months or even years sometimes trying to find the right name for the characters I come up with. I guess I'm worried that because I found one that clicked so soon and so easily that it's not right.
But I think I'm going to start going by Colin.
Sounds good to me! The best way to find out is to have people call you the name. Write it down and say it out aloud yourself a few times, you'll soon get a sense of whether it suits you.
'Gratz, Colin! I get you. My name clicked a little too easy, and it's got me questioning myself even now, two years later. Maybe I should have thought harder ... ? Picked something closer to my birth name ... ? Consulted my parents ... ?
At this point, I'm just sticking my fingers in sore spots because I expect something to hurt. :D
Anyway, have you tried something like the pronoun dressing room?
QuoteYoung Stamford looked rather strangely at me over his wine-glass. "You don't know Colin yet," he said; "perhaps you would not care for him as a constant companion."
"Why, what is there against him?"
"Oh, I didn't say there was anything against him. He is a little eccentric in those ideas of his-an enthusiast in some branches of science. As far as I know he is a decent enough boy."
"A medical student, I suppose?" said I.
"No-I have no idea what he intends to go in for. I believe he is well up in anatomy, and he is a first-class chemist; but, as far as I know, he has never taken out any systematic medical classes. His studies are very desultory and eccentric, but he has amassed a lot of out-of-the way knowledge which would astonish his professors."
My first name was easily chopped into a male name, but my middle name was Marie after my grandma. I know some guys have fem middle names but I was not going to be one of them.
When my grandparents were young they like to do crazy stuff- there's a black and white pic of my grandma with a HUGE swordfish she caught- all by her tiny 5'2" petite bodied self, so I picked Marlin (a kind of sailfish as well as an older fashioned dude's name) to change it to the initial is the same and it still relates to my family :)
Oooh the pronoun dressing room looks pretty cool!
My given name is way too short (only 4 letters) and as far as I've ever seen there's no male counterpart. Not even close. And I kind of don't want to consult my parents, because my mom has told me since I was a kid that if I were born a boy I would have been named Steven. And I just don't think that suits me.
Middle name is easier. My parents just used a female spelling of my grandfather's name. So it's just a spelling shift.
I think I'm going to ask my online friends to start calling me Colin to see how it fits.
Edit: I told them and so many were immediately and wonderfully supportive. Hesitations and doubts about the name have become a giddy sort of happiness. Maybe soon I'll learn to stop doubting so much.
I feel pretty weird about changing my name actually... I've never really associated with any of my given names and picking a new one out of the air feels really weird (which is why i always end up with keyboardmash usernames on websites...)
I can't use the if-i-was-born-a-boy trick either 'cause all those options were used on my four younger brothers ;P
I wish i had some nicknames lol
I also have to stick with at least my original initials for my work :/
Is it weird to be reluctant/ not care about changing your name?
Quote from: Peep on October 04, 2015, 05:33:01 PM
I feel pretty weird about changing my name actually... I've never really associated with any of my given names and picking a new one out of the air feels really weird (which is why i always end up with keyboardmash usernames on websites...)
I can't use the if-i-was-born-a-boy trick either 'cause all those options were used on my four younger brothers ;P
I wish i had some nicknames lol
I also have to stick with at least my original initials for my work :/
Is it weird to be reluctant/ not care about changing your name?
While I can't answer the latter question (though I imagine it's not all that out of the ordinary), most of the usual methods didn't work for me.
I ended up picking Colin because it has a lot of positive associations in my life, and it just sort of clicked the moment I asked myself "what if I used that?" And I was hesitant about it because of those reasons. Because it didn't follow the usual way people pick their names. But a lot of that hesitation is already fading.
When I was choosing my name I just new that I wanted it to begin with 'J', since all my siblings and my father have the same initials (either J.R. or J.J.R., wich is something I've always found funny and interesting). I was called Jul by some of my friends and it's been my name on facebook since forever, even before I came to terms with my gender identity.
Even with all of this hints, deciding for a name was hard, I also didn't want to make the choice too fast, I wanted to take time but the first name I thought of (Julián) is the name I ended up with. There are other more prettier names like Roberto, Alejandro, Ricardo (I'm latino, so all the names I thought of are hispanic) but none of those felt like me, Julián however, I even like the sound of it in english or french!
QuoteI ended up picking Colin because it has a lot of positive associations in my life, and it just sort of clicked the moment I asked myself "what if I used that?" And I was hesitant about it because of those reasons. Because it didn't follow the usual way people pick their names. But a lot of that hesitation is already fading.
At some point I also felt like I was doing it wrong because all the trans people I knew had chosen a name very different from their birth name, while mine was almost the same (Julissa » Julián), but whatever! it turns out I'm not the only one who did it this way :) There's not one way to chose a name, after all, like there's not one single way to be trans.
I really wanted a three-name name, so flow was really important for me. I knew I wanted to change my surname (my father and I do not get on at all, so I've taken my mother's name), so I wanted something that worked well with the new surname. I also really didn't want my first name to have the same starting sound as my last, so all A-names were out. I also really didn't want to pick the same name as anyone I knew, 'cause that would have been pretty weird for me--which sucked, 'cause I really like the name David but it's my uncle's name. I was pretty focused at the time on getting something that sounds good, so I just went with the first thing that flowed really well. Gregory, Greg for short, with a short middle name that sounded really nice out loud. It's what I go by online now, because I'm stealth and my actual name is fairly uncommon, but after a few months of using it online at the time I realised that it wasn't my name. So I asked around online, and one of the things someone suggested felt so instantly right that I couldn't not use it. I also immediately realised that it sounds awesome with my great-grandfather's name as the middle name, and would give me the three-name flow I wanted. Neither my first nor middle names are very common, so I'm not going to share them here, but the process is what's important really :P Glad you're finding one that works for you!
I completely understand the whole name thing its really hard. I had a name picked out but then I figured it was to far from my birth name and would be harder for family, friends, etc to transition to so I thought on it on and off for 6 months and finally added a b at the end off my birth name no letters taken out just one added at the end and I got Kalab. (: good luck to you on your journey. (:
I've been using it for a few days now, and I'm really liking it. However, at first I started to worry it wasn't going to work for me. Because still, every time someone calls me Colin, I have this ridiculously giddy response. Because everyone I've told has started using it without hesitation. And it's kind of an imposter syndrome thing. Like I'm getting away with something. But I also never really had any nicknames, so anyone calling me by anything that isn't my given name is something to get used to.
When I worked at a call center, one of our requirements was to use the caller's name at least 3 times in every call. Based on some psychological theory that everyone's favorite word is their name, and it would help build rapport. I could never get onboard with this because even before getting that job, I resented people who used my name too much. I never liked my name, ever. I now understand why, at least.
Because now when people call me Colin, I want them to say it again and again.