I'm on a work trip to the East Coast and arranged to meet my #3 daughter on Sunday as she was driving west to grad school and I was driving south. My ex-wife decided to help my daughter out by inviting me to the wife's birthday party on Saturday night. It was a very gracious offer and freed my daughter and me up on Sunday, simplifying our travel plans.
Saturday afternoon, I picked up some wine and a birthday card, dressed nicely in a slacks, a scoop top and jacket and drove to her house. I was a bit nervous because I didn't know what role I was to play with the people I hadn't met before.
My role was quickly laid out as my ex introduced me to the people there and those who came later as "an old friend." Okay. I could play that role, but it got out of hand later in the evening as it became increasingly clear that her daughter was also my daughter. Hey, I can't help but enthuse over this 'kid' I only see once a year or so.
Later in the evening, as we were all at table enjoying a late dinner, my ex leaned over to one of her friends and said, "Robyn was my husband. We were married 24 years and brought to wonderful girls into the world." At least half the people heard her say that; so the "old friend" story was erased.
We talked a bit about how painful our separation had been. She said she had cried for three years but was grateful that I had set her free to find the life she really wanted.
Not much later, I thanked her and took my leave. It felt strange to embrace her after so many years. It probably felt strange to her to be held by a woman.
When I got back to the hotel, I sat on the bed and called my husband to tell him how much I love him and to let him know I was safe.
I decided to read for awhile and picked up the autobiographical book of a friend who died last month. The chapter I read was about her leaving her second wife for good and beginning her final transition to female. It was a triple whammy. I had lost my friend, revisited the breakup of her marriage, and had just revisted the breakup of my marriage.
Sleep came hard, and I drove 200 miles the next day on only two or three hours sleep.
Things are getting back to normal for me. I hope they are for my ex, too.
I can hardly wait to get home to Emery on Saturday, I want to find myself in his arms.
Robyn
Nice story Robyn. The circles are beginning to close for you. I'm glad your ex felt comfortable enough to talk, that means she's come a long way.
Dennis
Robyn,
I'm so happy for you. I know that was tough, seeing the ex and all. Times do move on and the rough spots seem to level out in so many ways. Just think what it did for your daughter and your other daughters. I'm sure it will open up more to your liking and Emery's life too. You two hold a special place in my heart. Yes, I also re read Irene's book again, just for her.
Love to you both, Sheila