Anyone who knows me knows that I hate asking for help. A mixture of pride, stubbornness, and an alarmingly frequent inability to recognize when when I am in over my head often makes it difficult for me to ask for, or even admit to myself, that I need help. I am told that I need to speak out more when trouble strikes. So here goes...
I am drowning.
A mixture of depression and anxiety has made it impossible for me to work. I have not worked for over a month now, and subsequently have had no income. I applied for short term disability and have been told I am approved, but have yet to receive a payment. I applied for food stamps, was told I was approved for those as well, but again I have not received anything. The wheels are in motion, but the wait has been excruciating.
Let me be clear... I am not asking for financial assistance. I am asking for your friendship and support. I am asking for a kind word and a good thought. I am terribly frightened of being alone and being isolated. I am asking you to keep me in you life even if it seems as if I am pulling away from you at the moment. I need to stay in contact with friends and family both near and far. It is far too easy to drift apart at times like this. I value everyone in my life and I hope you value me as well. I really don't know where I am going with this, but I hope that the underlying meaning is coming through, even if the words are not my clearest.
Big hug! "She attempts difficult things" to me means sometimes it's hard pedaling. We got a bicycle built for thousands here, you're never alone. :)
Hugs, Devlyn
Hello Allison
Although I don't know you I can relate to some of this. Friends and family are so important. We as humans need to be loved and connected in some way to the people that we know.
I'll keep you in my thoughts and prayers in the hope that all you will soon get what you have been approved for.
*hugs*
Hi Allison,
What do you feel has caused your depression and anxiety? Is it something you can talk about?
I'm sorry we don't live closer. I would love to take you to dinner and let you forget your troubles for a couple of hours. You have to have faith, sweetie. If you can ride the rapids, calm waters will come.
With love and kindness,
Terri
AllisonSteph,
I am so sorry to hear that. It's terrible to be in that place. I work in a job where there is no one who can tell what I am doing. I am pretty sure I was where you are now, early last spring. However, there was was pretty much no one else around so nothing was done.
I too have a hard time accepting anything from others. I hated asking for help. Eventually, I had to reach out to a therapist. Luckily again, insurance and work covered me. Do you have anyone you can reach out to in person? While I think this site is great, nothing beats a face to face.
There are many who care here. You are not alone.
With warmth,
Joanna
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Hi AllisonSteph
Have another hug from me you sound like you could do with a few. I can relate to feeling like you are the only one, supportive and positive people are who you need to be around. As long as you can type then you will always have friends and support here. Take care of yourself
Hugs
Sarah T
Hang in there babes, keep your hopes up. Personally, I've been more spiritual after my transition.
you'll be in my prayers xoxo
April
:icon_hug: