before starting HRT, it seemed so imperative to me to present as female in every moment while driving or walking my dog.
when driving, my plan was to apply advanced camouflage techniques, so that anyone who saw me driving, from whatever angle, would see a female.
while walking my dog, likewise, the intent was that anyone who saw me, from whatever angle, would see a female.
now that i am on HRT, i have tended to give these techniques less importance, but, seeing that i have decades of male habits to overcome, maybe i shouldn't be shoving them aside so soon.
How to:
Driving. this one is much easier for me than walking my dog. when driving, of course, safety first. don't let these exercises interfere in any way with being a careful driver. sit in your natural girl position, with good posture. hold the wheel at any position that reduces the angular appearance of the size of the hand. there are many angles where you cannot really determine the hand's size. as the car passes you, on first glance, they see a girl. as they move further ahead, they look back and still see a girl. also, always moisturize the hands at least twice daily.
Walking the dog. walking a dog is much more difficult than walking through a mall, where your natural girl stride will carry you through almost anything. but with muffy pulling you along down the sidewalk, cutting the right girl angles is really tricky. again, safety first. keep yourself and your dog safe. maintain your natural girl stride as much as possible. when you have stop, which in my case is often because my dog likes to mark territory throughout the neighborhood, remember to cut girl angles so that your girl image is visible from every side. if you panic or get flustered, find your girl center of balance and dwell there for the moment, until you regain your composure. i won't presume to tell you where your girl center of balance is, (mine is the soft part of the front of my neck, just where it joins the breast bone).
Could it be that you'd have more fun being yourself and enjoying the symmetry of your body and leaving the design and operation to La Dame Nature?
The less I tried, the more comfortable I got. The more comfortable I got, the more I smiled. The more I smiled and laughed (not giggled!) the more the world took me for who they saw and not who I was.
Hope this helps.
Wing Walker
Quote from: Wing Walker on September 25, 2007, 10:29:44 PM
Could it be that you'd have more fun being yourself and enjoying the symmetry of your body and leaving the design and operation to La Dame Nature?
The less I tried, the more comfortable I got. The more comfortable I got, the more I smiled. The more I smiled and laughed (not giggled!) the more the world took me for who they saw and not who I was.
Hope this helps.
Wing Walker
No. since i started transitioning, i've gotten such evil stares from people that some days i don't even make eye contact. some guys have looked like they really wanted to kill me. so now when strangers are looking at me, i don't give them the benefit of the doubt anymore; i tried that and regretted it. now i just ignore them and continue on my way.
Do you care to hazard a guess as to why you're getting the evil eye? Purely up to you to say or not.
Wing Walker
In general it's safer for a woman not to make eye contact with men when she's out walking. However, I make eye contact and smile with other women as much as possible. Most of the time they smile back, which really helps me get through the day.
Just relax and let your body flow smoothly and naturally. If you hold yourself tight, it will clue in observers that something is off about you. I was walking in a mall with a guy friend (FTM) and he suggested to relax my upper body. My shoulders loosened and my arms swung freely in a carefree way. He said
now you look more convincing. If you feel uptight about dirty looks from men, don't let it tense you up. Make a psychic shield around yourself (protecting yourself from bad vibes) and relax, enjoy your lovely womanhood. Believe in yourself and let go. Remember that you're doing the right thing, and you are who you need to be. I think we can be our own worst enemies when we subtly fear that we're doing wrong by being out and proud. It's been pounded into us (sometimes literally) our whole lives long. Let
go of that guilt, honey, let your self-acceptance take over, and your inner confidence will shine through.
Posted on: September 26, 2007, 05:48:56 AM
Quote from: Ell on September 19, 2007, 12:50:49 AMalso, always moisturize the hands at least twice daily.
That's definitely good advice in general, but how would it make any visible difference to an observer outside your car?
Quote from: Wing Walker on September 25, 2007, 10:29:44 PM
Could it be that you'd have more fun being yourself and enjoying the symmetry of your body and leaving the design and operation to La Dame Nature?
The less I tried, the more comfortable I got. The more comfortable I got, the more I smiled. The more I smiled and laughed (not giggled!) the more the world took me for who they saw and not who I was.
Hope this helps.
Wing Walker
no, wait. yes, that really is good advice, & i appreciate it. i must say i've been a bit of an emotional wreck lately. and just wanna bury my head in the ground. but it's true that i'm not transitioning to please other people, especially ones i don't even know. if they don't like it, too bad!
thank you, WW.
-ell
Hate to say this, but if there's a facet of your appearance that doesn't "pass," then it's bound to come out eventually, no matter how you try to hide it. You can't be on full alert all the time. If you relax and forget about it, you'll probably be more comfortable rather than drawing attention to it by trying to hide it.
I remember an anecdote someone told about a woman in his office who had a large rear end. She read an article in a women's magazine about how to disguise a big butt -- it involved draping her hand at a certain angle to hide it. She followed their advice, and went from looking like a woman with a big butt to looking like a woman with a nerve disorder and a big butt.
Moral: don't sweat it. The more you smile and think of yourself as a woman, the more people will react well to you. (And if they harass you, punch 'em in the jaw. ;D )
Quote from: Hypatia on September 26, 2007, 05:50:00 AM
In general it's safer for a woman not to make eye contact with men when she's out walking. However, I make eye contact and smile with other women as much as possible. Most of the time they smile back, which really helps me get through the day.
Just relax and let your body flow smoothly and naturally. If you hold yourself tight, it will clue in observers that something is off about you. I was walking in a mall with a guy friend (FTM) and he suggested to relax my upper body. My shoulders loosened and my arms swung freely in a carefree way. He said now you look more convincing. If you feel uptight about dirty looks from men, don't let it tense you up. Make a psychic shield around yourself (protecting yourself from bad vibes) and relax, enjoy your lovely womanhood. Believe in yourself and let go. Remember that you're doing the right thing, and you are who you need to be. I think we can be our own worst enemies when we subtly fear that we're doing wrong by being out and proud. It's been pounded into us (sometimes literally) our whole lives long. Let go of that guilt, honey, let your self-acceptance take over, and your inner confidence will shine through.
Posted on: September 26, 2007, 05:48:56 AM
Quote from: Ell on September 19, 2007, 12:50:49 AMalso, always moisturize the hands at least twice daily.
That's definitely good advice in general, but how would it make any visible difference to an observer outside your car?
oh, uh, none? after re-reading my topic, i decided that i had written it while i was in ignoramus mode (yes, i have that; also a nerd-mode,
and an out-and-out idiot mode. unfortunately, i usually slip into these modes without any awareness of having done so). however, the replies by Wing Walker, Andrew, and yourself were so thoughtful and helpful, that i'm actually glad that i wrote it so stupidly.
Thank you, Hypatia!
Quoteoh, uh, none? after re-reading my topic, i decided that i had written it while i was in ignoramus mode (yes, i have that; also a nerd-mode, and an out-and-out idiot mode. unfortunately, i usually slip into these modes without any awareness of having done so). however, the replies by Wing Walker, Andrew, and yourself were so thoughtful and helpful, that i'm actually glad that i wrote it so stupidly.
It was actually a pretty thoughtful post. All those little ways we try to look feminine/masculine don't really come out to much in the end, do they? I used to pull my shirt down all the time so my breasts wouldn't show. And walking against the wind? Forget it! I went from being a guy with non-noticeable breasts to being a guy with non-noticeable breasts and a stupid-looking tic. (R.I.P. Andrew's Breasts -- 2002-2007)
Quote from: Wing Walker on September 25, 2007, 10:29:44 PM
The less I tried, the more comfortable I got. The more comfortable I got, the more I smiled. The more I smiled and laughed (not giggled!) the more the world took me for who they saw and not who I was.
Exactly! Or at least that's how I've explained things to myself. IMHO, if you're comfortable with who you are are, people generally just seem to go with it - even if you don't pass.
But if you seem like you're TRYING to pass, it can come across as fakery, as trying to "fool" people... and they'll react accordingly.
~Kate~
Ell,
There is absolutely nothing wrong with practicing some feminine mannerisms. I know I practiced doing things in a masculine manner which seemed unnatural. Why would it be wrong to try to learn to adapt to your new body?
If you can feel some level of comfort regardless of what other people think that is very important.
The hormones do affect the thickness of your skin and your strength. Therefore it is practical to adopt some female mannerisms when placed in situations that challenge your body such as moving heavy large boxes.
QuoteThe hormones do affect the thickness of your skin and your strength. Therefore it is practical to adopt some female mannerisms when placed in situations that challenge your body such as moving heavy large boxes.
Do you mean flirting with a guy to make him move them for you? I'd fall for that in a moment! :laugh:
Quote from: Andrew on September 27, 2007, 12:18:10 PM
She read an article in a women's magazine about how to disguise a big butt -- it involved draping her hand at a certain angle to hide it. She followed their advice, and went from looking like a woman with a big butt to looking like a woman with a nerve disorder and a big butt.
ah ha ha, oh man. Thanks Andrew.