Hai guys!
So I'm really confused about what to do...
Since my boyfriend came out as crossdresser (which I find adorable), I actually can talk to him about what I want.
I really don't feel ok in my body, but sometimes I still want to wear dresses, but that's like once in a year. I want to get rid of my boobs, but my friend is suggesting not to bind them, since it will damage it? She's saying I should go for a surgery, but I'm only 14 and I don't know how to tell my parents that I don't want be like that girly girl. My parents are pretty chill when it comes as sexuality, but they are at the same time they can be really strict about it. They don't care that I wear boy clothes, so long I don't wear it when family is coming over. Are they ashamed of me?
So basically I want to get rid of my boobs, like I said and I want to talk to my parents about my gender... I only have no idea how to do this, since I'm really scared for their reaction...
what should I do?
I wouldn't say that your parents are ashamed of you, I think it's more of avoiding hassle or confrontation from other - stricter - family members. They most likely don't want grandma or some other relative nagging you/them because "back in my day women aren't supposed to wear mens' clothes" and then cause a scene/drama for the rest of the family. I'm pretty sure there are better ways on dealing with problematic family members but we'll save that story for another day.
If you want to get an idea on how your parents will react, you could talk to them about transgender issues that's going on in the news and see their reaction/attitude towards it. Maybe you could also tell them about your boyfriend's coming out (with his permission, of course) if he's comfortable with it. If they seem to react well, then maybe you can tell them about how you feel.
I doubt your parents are going to hate, disown, or feel ashamed of you for being trans. However, since you're 14, they might pull the "you're too young to be transgender" card, so be prepared for that. If they do, then ask them if you could see a gender therapist so you could at least talk to someone about it. No parent in their right mind would refuse that kind of request unless they think they're smarter than a trained professional.
If they do feel ashamed of you, then shame on them. You're being you, and if they can't accept who you are, then they're crummy parents. Don't worry about what they think. I know you're forced to live with them, but try to ignore any negativity from them until you get the opportunity to move out if they give you any trouble.
I haven't done binding or surgery yet, so I have nothing else to say in this thread.
Best regards,
Todd
Before you do anything I suggest a therapist to help you discover how far you want to go. Talk of surgeries or HRT is a big step and it helps to have a non biased opinion on it. Binding when done correctly and responsibly will not harm you. Find out the proper way to perform it. Good luck. :)
Thank you guys ^^"
Welcome to Susan's Place. By seeing a Gender Therapist, you might be put on blockers which would stop the feminine development and allow you to grow taller. Should you transition in the future, this would make the transition easer. Should you decide to return to the female role, stopping the blockers would allow you to continue developing as a female. It is a very good reason to get your parents on your side if possible
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So I found a way to bind my breast, and I kinda came out to my parents..
When I first told them about my boyfriend they started to laugh and said: "if he is like that, you should break up. He will turn gay soon." And I got so upset with it... I started to inform them more about cross dressers and only because they had a gay someone that cross dressed as a woman, they think everyone is gay that does it.
I looked at my clothes that my mum was folding and I basically said: "I don't feel like being a girl."
My mum looked at me and said that I already was a kind of guy, and that I didn't need more.
I kept myself quiet for a second, but ended tearing up, saying I don't want to be a girl at all. My parents said that I'm too young to make that decision. My parents said that my family already suspected a thing of me being "gay", while I'm actually pansexual... They didn't really listen to me about what I wanted ^^"
If you're not sure that you identify as male or female, you could be a nonbinary gender? Basically means you're somewhere in between the spectrum of gender. If you're serious about being a guy, it's still totally okay to wear dresses and makeup! Gender has nothing to do with appearance, it's about how you identify.
Your parents are probably trying to protect you from comments from other family members who might not be so supportive.
Hope I helped <3
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Thank you guys (: