I have been planning more FFS in the next few months, and I was very excited about it.
After all FFS was finished I was going to proceed onto SRS, organised and orderly.
However something has changed recently, I now feel a tremendous desire to just go out and complete the SRS as soon as possible.
While SRS was always a dream, it was never a priority, but as the male programming fell away and I learned to accept the inner female, the desire to 'correct' my body has been getting stronger.
I'm now feeling what I would describe as 'desperate to complete SRS', Its almost like I feel the remaining male parts are holding me back from experiencing life to the fullest as the woman I am.
To make matters worse I am starting to experience feelings of embarrassment and shame at having these body parts that are not right for me.
Is this common?
Taylor.
( Living full time as a female for 6 months )
Taylor, I don't know if it's common. It's really your decision. It depends on your priorities, how feminine you appear already, how much you have set aside to pay for surgeries, etc. Have you met the requirements set forth by WPATH SOC? The most important thing to realize is that there is no going back. I wouldn't worry about what other people have done. You're a unique individual. There are no set rules on how to sequence these procedures.
I elected to do my FFS first because I so hated my masculinized face. Having it corrected was hugely beneficial to my state of mind and allowed me to pass 99% of the time. I had also assumed the it would be a year or more before GRS could be carried out because of the need to have up to a year of electrolysis first. Also, the better surgeons (IMO) had fairly long waiting lists. When I learned that electrolysis is not needed or recommended for a non-penile inversion surgery (Chettawut, Suporn, Sanguan, etc.), I began feeling a stronger need to get on with GRS. I do feel like as long as I have a penis, I'm not complete as a woman. Most, if not all, of my male identity has faded away, so removing this last obstacle to feeling like a whole woman has become very important to me. My GRS is going to take place next month.
Hi Clara,
Thank you, best wishes for your GRS next month, are you doing it in Thailand?
Taylor.
Quote from: taylor_h on October 13, 2015, 08:49:44 AM
Hi Clara,
Thank you, best wishes for your GRS next month, are you doing it in Thailand?
Taylor.
Yes, Bangkok, with Dr. Chettawut. All arrangements have been made. I'll be staying at The Vertical Suite hotel not far from the Dusit Princess and about 15 minutes by car to Chettawut's surgery center. The cost of surgery is less than half that in North America, but when you add in travel costs, the difference is a lot less, especially if you fly business class which is highly recommend on the return trip.
Hello Taylor, my vote is SRS first. In my opinion the rest is just cosmetic. I very much felt womanhood was mine after SRS. No one could ever take that away or raise the question. Did not care (OK, I do) if people thought I was ugly.
I do plan on undergoing full FFS summer/fall of 2016 or earlier if schedule allows.
Thank you,
Anne
I think I know how you feel. I always felt like GCS was a "maybe" for me personally, I wasn't really sure if I wanted it or not. Now with full time rapidly approaching (November 4 is my tentative coming out day at work, which will pretty much release the floodgates for every other part of my life) my thoughts have changed somewhat too.
I always thought my progression would be FFS, possibly vocal surgery, BA (if necessary), then GCS if I felt the need but the further along I get my feelings have almost completely flipped from my earlier thought process.
My issue is that my wife really likes *that* part of me so that's a consideration I have to keep in mind...... and many conversations we need to have between ourselves before anything is decided.
I'm still doing a lot more thinking than doing right now and I haven't reached "desperate" status yet but I definitely feel the pull to be complete and it gets stronger every day.
SRS is last on my list of feminizing surgeries; if I had insurance to pay for it, or if I was financially able to do anything I wanted, then it would have been done already, but as it is, I had to prioritize, and it was more beneficial for my mental well being (not saying this is true for anyone else but me) to feminize my face and body first.
While I didn't have as many surgery to chose from, GCS was on my list as soon as it was permitted and as soon as I could afford it. I had the adams apple taken care of early because it was a passing problem and to combine surgeries I had the nose as well. Total cost was about 2K compared to 10k for GCS. The thing that missed up my finances was the need to find another high paying job took a while draining my savings. I think I was out of work about 6 months with living expenses and electro really draining my savings.
Thank you everyone,
Its really helpful to talk about these kinds of things, and to hear about your experiences.
I haven't come to a firm decision yet but I would like to in the next couple of months.
Taylor
xx
i feel very ashamed of my genitals too. i live in california and im poor so i have free health insurance, all of my surgeries are free. bc of that, i had an orchie to alleviate my intense dysphoria of producing testosterone. im a lot more at ease now and more willing to be patient with the rest of the surgeries im getting. my SRS date is january 21st but i will probably reschedule so that i can have more complete hair removal in the surgical area. i want the procedure to go as smoothly as possible !! i havent schduled my FFS date but my new goal is to get that done early next year and then get SRS a few months later.
i think a lot of this can fluctuate as time goes on. for me, im in a relationship and while i dont like my genitals, my partner already knows what they are and is totally okay with them, so while theyre annoying and not particularly useful, they dont feel like they completely impede on my sex life, just make it less comfortable/more dysphoria inducing. my face, on the other hand, directly contributes to me being clocked and making me feel ugly. so, for me, FFS is a higher priority. maybe try to do some self-reflection on your current situation, look at a reasonable timeline of when surgeries could happen, and go from there in evaluating which one is more important to you.
keep in mind that, while the full recovery time of both surgeries is around a year, FFS generally allows you to go back to work 2 weeks to a month after, whereas SRS requires 6 weeks to 2 months of recovery to return back to work with limited mobility (at least from my understanding).
hope this is helpful
I wanted a "sex change operation" ever since I discoved there was such a thing when I was a child. I always knew GRS would be a necessary thing for me at some point. But for me, even though I was full time, I just didn't feel complete.
My FFS a few months ago was the single most impactful even that has ever taken place in my life. I've recently realized this more and more over the past few weeks everytime I look in the mirror. In 35+ years, I've never been at peace more with myself than I am right now, even though I have phase II coming up next month. I realize everyone is different and get their operations in a certain order, but the way people see me and the way I see myself has been one of the most freeing experinces I have ever felt and personally I would do FFS over GRS 1,000 times out of 1,000 times.
Good luck in whatever you choose first! :icon_cool:
Because of finances, I will probably have to go with FFS first, although I wish I could have GCS done yesterday (proverbial, not literal, but it would have been cool if I could have :D) As it stands now, my laser hair removal didn't work, and this face cream stuff I got which was supposed to get rid of all of my facial hair didn't work, so now I'm left with electrolysis (which, had I done it from the start, I'd be well on my way to being finished.), and a crapload of $$$ down the drain that I could have used for this. And if that wasn't enough, my testosterone level went from being through the floor to being shot through the roof, after being on HRT for about 8 months. If I had GCS first, since I've pretty much become a "setter," rather than a "pointer" as far as the restroom goes, I could have been more stealth (nobody' going to freak if you sit to use the can in the men's room), and could get the FFS done gradually, depending on what I had done. Worrying about money is the big thing now; I'm 51, and I'm pushing to have everything taken care of by the time I reach 55, so I can be my true self and have time to enjoy it. I don't know how you girls do it; I've been dealing with this for well over 40 years, and now it drives me nuts. So close, but so very far... >:(
I elected to have FFS first. Not only because SRS was waiting for the WPATH requirements to be met.
Pre FFS, I maybe passed 80% of the time. It was hard being clocked on a regular, almost daily basis. FFS was the single most important thing I had done to improve my quality of life. It really did turn night to day. The remaining glimpses of the boy in the mirror disappeared entirely and I couldn't help but smile every time seeing my reflection. That relieved untold amounts of stress, which just further enhanced my new life too.
Having said that, SRS was also vital. Having the wrong bits really does limit life in some aspects. Not that anyone else knew. Since SRS, it really has given me a giant sense of calm on my life's outlook. There's no part of me ( physically ) that I would be ashamed to let other people see. Really powerful and positive too.
If I had to choose one or the other, I'd always go FFS hands down. But that really is dependent on passing. If I had passed better before hand, SRS would probably be the most important.