Those are related topics:
Doing Experiments at Work, the First time I felt Oppressed (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,190686.0.html)
Coming out at Work - It is Happening, but How do I do it? (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,196531.0.html)
Today I elected to meet a group of people who know me very well, and were considered too much to add to the group of my present direct co-workers. I met them on my own, without a plan or anyone else but me and them present.
That was to ensure they know I trust them and to have them say openly whatever may come to their mind.
It went well, we are done in like 15 minutes. Stayed for another 10 just in case.
Since today I had first talk with the management repesentative as well, positive ones!!, this is the first time I began to believe my full time is simply coming. While talking with the colleagues, for an instant I recalled what man they knew and realized that mask is going to dissolve and disappear like a ghost. Thus flow of emotions:
- First I felt sorry for this person I never was; it is a smart but dark and bitter man, noted and respected by everyone but never liked by anyone. I presume because they never liked themselves in the first place.
- In a minute I felt anger. Why should I feel bad, I've got one body and one life; as much as I would like to keep 'him' alive, there is only space for one.
- Anger soon became happiness, I remained in giggly mood through the rest of the day. Still so. ^_^
I like getting some of my life. Looking forward to proceeding with medical treatment.
P.S.
Forgot one thing. While showing my images to the people, I got one "Oh my, you are HOT!". I thought this only happens in movies. Not really... although being like 'should I react to this?!', I elected to say 'thanks'. I will need all support I can get, right? Probably just an innocent comment.
Quote from: Martine A. on October 13, 2015, 11:15:10 AM
P.S.
Forgot one thing. While showing my images to the people, I got one "Oh my, you are HOT!". I thought this only happens in movies. Not really... although being like 'should I react to this?!', I elected to say 'thanks'.
Well, they were right! :D
I approached workplace transition similarly, although I had already been on hormones for several months.
I wore thick, baggy clothing to hide the fact that I was growing breasts and my gradually feminizing body yet people still found my face and hair kind of strange. I was even gendered female a few times and some people started to not recognize me.
In November last year I spoke to HR and they told me that I will be fine, I am protected under anti discrimination policy and city laws too. They said just bring the paperwork to get new ID, it is no big deal. December last year I told my VP who then told our GM and chief officer. In February I set a date for June after I came back from South Korea. I had actually booked a date for VFS in June. My therapist suggested I move it up to before I go, because not talking would be odd.
I told my team members individually then a few trusted people. They expressed support for me. One of them was excited actually since she is a woman and would now have another female colleague on the team.
Then closer to the date we were deciding on how to announce. My boss said he will just send an email. He met with the directors and one suggested that the company have a meeting. They did and announced it. People really viewed it as no big deal. Some cheered, smiled and for many it made sense. I received messages of congratulations and there were LGB colleagues who befriended me. One of my best friends at work is a really loud and proud out gay guy, who supports me and always speaks highly of me.
I came in the next day, my colleagues told me I should't hide anymore. So I threw off my jacket and my feminine clothing I was wearing underneath revealed my true self.
i started using the women's restroom that day although I had used it on the weekend before when no one was around.
The next day I came in in a dress and a few days after I boarded a flight to Seoul for voice surgery.
Then I came back and when I was able to talk again my voice matched everything. Honestly while most people in my immediate vicinity know I'm trans, nobody really brings it up.
However there are a few allies I keep close such as the director who suggested the meeting and who has supported me. She is leaving, and I went into her office today and told her that I really wanted to thank her for how she helped me come out and be my true self. I broke down crying saying she was the one who cared the most and that how I was very scared but she made it easy. She said she was happy to support me and we'll keep in touch.
And that is that.
Just some things to think about.
I also had full cooperation of my IT department to change my email and phones. However I neglected to change the phone extension until someone pointed it out. So I did that this week.
My name change is now legal and I update work paperwork when I get my new social security card in the mail which should be any day now.
Quote from: Martine A. on October 13, 2015, 11:15:10 AM
Those are related topics:
Doing Experiments at Work, the First time I felt Oppressed (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,190686.0.html)
Coming out at Work - It is Happening, but How do I do it? (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,196531.0.html)
Today I elected to meet a group of people who know me very well, and were considered too much to add to the group of my present direct co-workers. I met them on my own, without a plan or anyone else but me and them present.
That was to ensure they know I trust them and to have them say openly whatever may come to their mind.
It went well, we are done in like 15 minutes. Stayed for another 10 just in case.
Since today I had first talk with the management repesentative as well, positive ones!!, this is the first time I began to believe my full time is simply coming. While talking with the colleagues, for an instant I recalled what man they knew and realized that mask is going to dissolve and disappear like a ghost. Thus flow of emotions:
- First I felt sorry for this person I never was; it is a smart but dark and bitter man, noted and respected by everyone but never liked by anyone. I presume because they never liked themselves in the first place.
- In a minute I felt anger. Why should I feel bad, I've got one body and one life; as much as I would like to keep 'him' alive, there is only space for one.
- Anger soon became happiness, I remained in giggly mood through the rest of the day. Still so. ^_^
I like getting some of my life. Looking forward to proceeding with medical treatment.
P.S.
Forgot one thing. While showing my images to the people, I got one "Oh my, you are HOT!". I thought this only happens in movies. Not really... although being like 'should I react to this?!', I elected to say 'thanks'. I will need all support I can get, right? Probably just an innocent comment.
Big hug! What a nice realization! :)
Quote from: KristinaM on October 14, 2015, 07:57:41 AM
Quote from: Martine A. on October 13, 2015, 11:15:10 AM
P.S.
Forgot one thing. While showing my images to the people, I got one "Oh my, you are HOT!". I thought this only happens in movies. Not really... although being like 'should I react to this?!', I elected to say 'thanks'.
Well, they were right! :D
I second that!
Hugs, Devlyn