Susan's Place Transgender Resources

Community Conversation => Transgender talk => Topic started by: nariko86 on October 15, 2015, 06:36:37 AM

Title: So helpless
Post by: nariko86 on October 15, 2015, 06:36:37 AM
I have a girlfriend and I don't know how to tell her that I am transgender, I don't know how she would feel about it. It feels like my whole body wants to crash [emoji17] [emoji22]

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Title: Re: So helpless
Post by: Laura_7 on October 15, 2015, 06:40:52 AM
Here are a few resources that could help:
https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,197523.msg1756901.html#msg1756901

In another thread was a very good post saying it might be easier coming out if there is already a feeling that people can talk to each other, about what really moves them. If not it might be positive to try to work on this... like getting a feeling of understanding.


hugs
Title: Re: So helpless
Post by: Skylar1992 on October 15, 2015, 04:37:45 PM
If she cares about you I'm sure she won't mind :)

Ask yourself, would you prefer to be true to yourself or hide yourself because you worry about others views
Title: Re: So helpless
Post by: Kylie1 on October 20, 2015, 03:26:59 PM
I told my ex wife i needed to talk to her about something very serious.  She said ok.  I told her about my life long dysphoria and that I needed to express some of it, like it was a pressure building up, like I need to let my true self out.   She didn't take it well.  She steadily created a massive distance emotionally and sexually, which made me halt any transition or feminine changes.  She pushed me away and said that I lied to her and took away her life.  She started dating my friend behind my back for over a year.  When I caught her in the affair she said she wanted a real man, not some "weird freak that wants to be a woman".  She said she wanted to stay married but would need real men to satisfy her.  I was devastated.  Now post divorce, I have a girlfriend that is sexually free but doesn't know about the dysphoria...  I think my girlfriend will be ok with it though, I just don't know.  All people take things in different ways, mine was worse case scenario.
Good luck
Xx
Title: Re: So helpless
Post by: genevie on October 20, 2015, 05:04:52 PM
Quote from: Kylie1 on October 20, 2015, 03:26:59 PM
I told my ex wife i needed to talk to her about something very serious.  She said ok.  I told her about my life long dysphoria and that I needed to express some of it, like it was a pressure building up, like I need to let my true self out.   She didn't take it well.  She steadily created a massive distance emotionally and sexually, which made me halt any transition or feminine changes.  She pushed me away and said that I lied to her and took away her life.  She started dating my friend behind my back for over a year.  When I caught her in the affair she said she wanted a real man, not some "weird freak that wants to be a woman".  She said she wanted to stay married but would need real men to satisfy her.  I was devastated.  Now post divorce, I have a girlfriend that is sexually free but doesn't know about the dysphoria...  I think my girlfriend will be ok with it though, I just don't know.  All people take things in different ways, mine was worse case scenario.
Good luck
Xx

Last weekend when we were on vacation I tried to explain to my wife what dysphoria felt like in an educational way. She knew some of the issues I had already. Her reaction was that I was vile and disgusting, she wanted a real man only for marriage and pulled away and began planning our divorce. Yes. All of that. The next day I told her I only told her that stuff because she had been asking what was bothering me. I wanted to share my problems. We talked some more and she agreed to see my gender therapist with me. She's been a little better since. We've gone through times in the past when she couldn't look at me. That was because I shaved off my mustache. We went six months and she couldn't say she loved me. These are rocky times. Emotional reactions are to be expected. If I was in a new relationship, I would tell them right away. They should know. Waiting only seems to make them feel betrayed.
Title: Re: So helpless
Post by: Kylie1 on October 20, 2015, 05:55:04 PM
I totally agree on the time thing.  My GF thinks it's sexy that I do feminine things.  I don't know if I'm just going to live with the dysphoria or not.  I'm thinking on it.  I've lost so much I don't want to continue on that track.
Xx